How to stop hesitating

andrewgore96 · 2017-04-09T07:09:54+00:00

I've had good success with the 3-second rule.

You see a girl you like.
You have three seconds to go say hi.

The point of this is to not give your brain time to talk you out of it or begin overthinking the situation.

ImJustSo · 2017-04-09T12:17:12+00:00

You need to start enjoying yourself and stop enjoying/fearing the fantasies you're living in your head. I mean, I'm a really confident man, and if I sit and think about doing something, then it becomes more and more cumbersome and intimidating.

Instead what I do is not do that. Pretty simple really, I avoid the thoughts that lead to the feelings I don't enjoy.

Example from Friday: I was at work, I saw an extremely attractive woman. We were walking towards one another and I could've just stared straight ahead, not said a thing. I decided right then that I would say hello, so instead of ignoring her... I looked at the ground in front of me until we got closer (to give her time to see me without me looking at her), then I looked up once we were 10ft away. I smiled really big, she smiled really big, I said hello in a sing song voice. She said, "Hi! How are you?" She spun around as we walked passed each other and we both said a few more things before going about our day.

I enjoyed myself, I made a decision, I made an interaction happen. I didn't think about anything negative beforehand, nor after.

sceptersc · 2017-04-09T14:39:23+00:00

My tip is just to continue on trying, even though you spend some time hesitating. The more you do it, the less you will hesitate. So just hang in there.

Dissentiment · 2017-04-09T07:35:10+00:00

Charisma on Command is a YouTube channel that has some videos covering some similar topics/opener examples

Tamazin_ · 2017-04-09T09:53:00+00:00

Imho thats one of the most common problem one has to approaching, overthinking and planning a conversation in your head and finding the right moment etc. etc.

As Shia Labeouf said: JUST DO IT. Dont stand there thinking of what to say, don't stand there scheming how to say it and from what angle to approach and whatnot. Just go go go, before your mind starts thinking and it gets more reluctant and hard. Just go up and say "Hi!". The more you do that, the easier it becomes and you will (hopefully) learn some common answers to some common simple (not even) openers.

brianbria · 2017-04-09T10:04:46+00:00

Run! It worked for me. Start jogging up and down streets and speed up when you see a girl. This way you are building bodily momentum towards moving towards the girl, and hesitation reduces. When you see a girl, run towards her. Don't allow yourself to be paralyzed. Move fast. When you're in state you can stop running and just walk towards girls.

also combine this with a timer and you'll go even faster.

Suroken · 2017-04-09T20:17:10+00:00

I heard this little piece of advice somewhere and really like it:

Learn to follow your fears. Your fears are a roadmap to expanding your comfort zone and improving yourself. You should get excited when you get afraid and love jumping into situations that make you scared. Because that's how you become a better person.

futmut · 2017-04-09T21:05:49+00:00

For me the hardest part is the first approach of the day..after that i feel relieved and can approach way more easily..

So even if you think 5 minutes about the first approach thats not a deal breaker, only if you get other approaches more easily...

monopolytroll · 2017-04-10T11:59:20+00:00

Gotta get into the social mood. Talk to everybody you see, old and young, boys and girls, etc. Just get talking about anything and you will get rid of that approach anxiety really fast. It usually takes me three or so random people to be confident enough to approach anyone.

Title	How to stop hesitating
Author	Marowak22
Upvotes	35
Comments	18
Date	April 9, 2017 6:29 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/64bt9o/how_to_stop_hesitating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-stop-hesitating.1423101 https://theredarchive.com/post/1423101

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