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Healingirl Archive

View 15 posts and 196 comments by Healingirl on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
446

SHOWER THOUGHTHealingirl/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 09:21 PM
413

MALE DEPRAVITYHealingirl/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 08:37 PM
374

LEVEL UPHealingirl/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 06:13 PM
316

SHOWER THOUGHTHealingirl/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 10:16 PM
308

DISCUSSIONHealingirl/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 12:44 PM
275

RANTHealingirl/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 08:47 PM
264

PICKME CULTUREHealingirl/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 02:16 PM
207

RED FLAG 🚨Healingirl/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/22 11:27 PM
199

Healingirl/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 04:18 PM
194

SCROTATION REPORT Healingirl/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 09:31 PM
181

RANTHealingirl/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 10:51 PM
167

STRATEGYHealingirl/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 11:31 PM
164

DISCUSSIONHealingirl/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/22 07:20 PM
162

Healingirl/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 09:09 PM
63

Healingirl/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 09:37 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
14

Very much socially awkward and like very inappropriate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 06:57 AM
23

Yeah this is how I interpreted it as well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 06:55 AM
65

This woman was just rude and obnoxious period
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/22 09:18 PM
19

When you don't need a man - but also don't need the absence of a man - to be living your best life, then you know you have truly de-centered men This !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/22 12:36 PM
18

Yes that makes sense. You don't have to be exclusive straight away or have the related talk but still using the app seems also a bit odd to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/22 10:55 AM
7

Yes I agree with this actually but then I was conflicted with the saying "when they know they know" which doesn't really makes sense with a guy still using the app while dating the presumed One if that makes sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/22 10:53 AM
61

This is exactly it! OP if you think LV are everywhere and if you focus your energy on them, you'll see them everywhere. Whereas if you have a more positive outlook you'll pay attention to the positive stories. I also learned something recently which is to ask yourself how is it serving you to think negatively: and it is definitely to not put yourself out there, not having to assert yourself etc Big eye opener.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/22 08:31 PM
23

Best comment here but as usual women will blame themselves
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/22 10:06 PM
12

Finally, thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/22 01:50 PM
7

Yeah you always run the risk in all circumstances to come across a man who wants to break a strong woman but at least, by being strong you weed out loads of shitty guys as they in most cases still prefer you to be weak. But yes you have psychos everywhere
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 03:04 PM
12

Not talking about any act of disrespect of course as the minute a man disrespect you should leave and not look back. Same for gashlighting as I also mentioned a HVM would never gashlight you... Just referring to shortcomings as in him not planning a dinner on the first date and you calling him out, this sort of things. An HVM will step up and actually be admirative you called him out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 12:03 PM
3

I believe in naturally connecting emotionally with someone and in a way, you should be with someone you connect this way with. Now saying that they have to be HV as well. So yes but the other criteria to be qualified soulmate is to be HV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 08:36 PM
12

What the actual...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 08:30 PM
5

As you said it was prescribed to you. Very different altogether
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 08:29 PM
-5

Yeah I believe it was staged as well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 01:10 PM
16

Nope and he is not HV if he does drugs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 01:05 PM
80

Oh no... sorry to say but your friend is a pickme, no offense we've all been there but she would benefit from therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 11:57 PM
17

No you shouldn't even hint at meeting. If the guy wants to ask you out he will. Give yourself a maximum timeframe which you feel comfortable with for keeping the chats on and if within that timeframe the guys hasn't asked you out, unmatch
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 09:59 PM
27

This!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 06:49 PM
49

This is why you never stay with a man who goes 50/50 on dates
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 09:12 PM
21

I totally agree with this post. I also tend to think that a HVM would remove themselves from the situation if it becomes to hard for them while mentioning that he will wait until the woman makes up her mind. This is a sign of self-respect to me and integrity to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/22 10:44 PM
9

No got the same vibes as well but I didn't like Mallory so
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/22 02:23 PM
4

My ex to a T
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 10:58 PM
5

A narc classic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 10:57 PM
9

Yeah true the all ex story was quite dodgy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 11:15 AM
113

Oh big times yes to Deepti!! Shake's reaction was pathetic.. he couldn't have cared less. Also happy Salvador said no as, imo, Mallory was just settling for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 01:45 PM
8

Yeah she gashlight herself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 02:08 PM
35

Honestly, I don't know. I never had a relationship out of dating apps BUT I've met more decent men on dating apps than IRL. I think that at the end of the day both are the same... but because the probability of meeting someone is higher with dating apps than IRL, since you scroll through multiple profiles, the probability of meeting scrotes and NVM is also higher as is the one of meeting a decent man. I can guarantee you that it'll take you longer to meet someone IRL and they likely won't be HV;…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 07:29 PM
14

And then how is to Natalie your jokes are getting old. She is spotting the red flags but she is ignoring them!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 07:17 PM
13

It is so embarassing!! The guitar thing shocked me as well. I was like run girl run! Shayne is already trying to control her thoughts. This is mad that such behaviors are normalised on tv, this is utterly disgusting and dangerous for our society. I can't help but think that Lyanna got paid to stay!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 07:15 PM
41

I know!! I was thinking the same about that guy!! So so creepy. They are so weird this season I must say 😳 I don't think that Shaina is the same as Shayne though. I think that she is just a huge pickme with low self esteem. Even Nick is weird, don't feel him as he was going around just winding up Jarette and trying to gossip all around then calling Danielle toxic.. Genuinely missing Cameron from season 1. One dose of HV at least .
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 12:39 AM
17

Yes it is very true. I mean they even put a narc so you know...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 10:21 PM
74

Feel like season 2 is another level but I don't know if it's because I found FDS in between 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 10:05 PM
46

Yeah and he was like what I like about Nathalie is... that she likes me..! Then with Shaina, he said make some effort, show me that you like me (something along those lines). 😳 he also got really angry in a quite scary way (like raging inside) and he kept dismissing the women in front of him. Made me super unconfortable. It is super hard to watch, they are ALL pickmes this is terrible !! And it's another level of pickmes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 10:04 PM
9

I cannot deal with pickmes anymore, I am done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 06:58 AM
45

Thanks for this wonderful message 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 10:27 PM
48

Sorry to hear! Everything is so wrong with men I am so done with that as well! I am like sorry what?? That sets the tone of the relationship and I have no intention of being treated as a convenience, thanks. But I'll have to admit it made me doubt if I wasn't too cold... mind f***ery
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 09:44 PM
83

Another red flag I saw or not necessarily a red flag but I know I'd have handled it differently, is when he asked if it'd annoy me if he's away every other month. Saying no is a pickme response (not judging! I know where you're coming from) but I think if you'd have said yes, you'd have had a more accurate image of what he wanted. Your answer was too convenient.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 10:46 PM
85

He resented my guts but never contacted me again so far 1y post breakup
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 09:21 AM
118

Yes queen!!! I didn't read the tag and I thought it'll be again a woman staying despite such abuse but no she didn't need any explanation or to communicate or to think about it, she packed and left which we all should do!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 09:18 AM
7

Omg he is trying to punish you and shut you down so that he can control you! Block and delete honestly. The things you have at his place are only material stuff!! Be strong! You'll realize the entirety of the emotional abusive when you are gone because I am sure he told on himself previously. Maybe if you analyze the way you were arguing. Was he responsive to you? Was he making everything about himself? Was he playing victim? Was he manipulative? Was he giving you the silent treatment to make yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 09:45 PM
29

Yes the hitting themselves freaked me out too. My ex would bang his head against walls etc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 03:41 PM
31

I opened the window in a room he wasn't even in, that made me the most selfish and inconsiderate person on the planet too. My ex did try to call the cops as well when I was crying because of his abuse!! Mental they are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 03:37 PM
31

I don't really know if it's what you want considering you're very young but this mam is not committed to you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 01:40 AM
9

I was going to comment something along those lines... while I totally see the patterns of Mr sensitive (my ex was like that), I would also not be okay with my partner acting...and in my pickme days, I would also try to explain by xyz why it wasn't okay and trying go convince rather than just draw a hard line and leave. I would also be upset that my partner doesn't care about hurting me with something that is clearly a boundary. Now I would have never given silent treatments or withdraw affection…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 09:13 PM
69

Came here to say this exactly.... why isn't he marrying his gf??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 08:09 PM
78

This! It is never about changing yourself, it is always about ditching people who make you feel anxious...and not blaming yourself for wanting more.. This is one of the reason why I would tread carefully with the attachment theories, they're good to understand basics but ultimately when you feel anxious, it usually is because you are on the receiving end of avoidant actions or someone who is just not that into you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 10:49 PM
94

Eww
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 12:15 AM
-4

Yeah but this happens organically that you have time away from each other but you don't really ask for your partner to get out of the house... If it was the guy saying that to a woman, we would be outraged. For instance, my job is super demanding and there are times where I barely leave the house since we work from home because I don't have time, so if my partner wasn't okay with that, well that would be a no go. Nor would I have time to do chores for that matter. Again he seems to be a burden h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 01:55 PM
-16

Can someone explain to me what the problem is ? I agree they seem to have problems related to household shores and something else related to therapy... Also, the fact that she doesn't want him around is pretty eloquent. BUT if my husband told me to get away of the house so that he can stay alone once a week, I would be fuming tbh. I currently work from home as well because my office is closed. It's not really something you chose and I wouldn't like to be ordered by my husband to go somewhere els…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 11:17 AM
15

Oh big time damaging but I learned so much from it. It was like a cataclyst to stop putting men on a pedestal firstly, because here you have it, it was a life or death situation... Hugs and well done 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 11:10 PM
37

Oh my god this is exactly like my ex and even the ending is strangely similar... as the relationship went on, everything escalated and even more so when I started living with him 🤡 When I finally decided I had enough and that the guy would just keep walking over me and emotionally abusing me to the point of it getting physical a few times, he realised I was definitely leaving him when I left suddenly after one more instance of his silent treatments, insults and arrogance and he tried to turn it …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 10:31 PM
52

Omg I just can't stand this. Heard over and over... yeah because you knew you were doing something wrong by my standards, you d******t
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 12:14 AM
2

Yes to show that you can go with either narratives. And I agree with the other side as well, it could be all for hoovering or because he is still in love etc but from the post itself and only, it's a positive message.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 11:52 AM
2

Exactly... there is a lot negative speculations based on so little information. It could be that he has to bring the kids see their mum anyway on her birthday and it's not like the kids can do that on their own. This is sad to see such bitterness even when there is nothing to warrant it in the post. If you take the post for what it is, it is a good thing.. no need to speculate or create an extended story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 05:14 PM
73

Bless him 🙏🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 01:01 AM
1

Well this is the reason why FDS doesn't believe in male/female friendship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 03:04 PM
1

But nothing disturbed you about a taken man going to the movies with you ? And to get to that point, I imagine you got closer and closer which involves him as well....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 02:22 PM
11

This is so untrue.... all my LV exes had both parents. It just depends if the mum was a pickme or an enabler. If the mum is single, independent and fierce refusing to settle in a bad relationship, well I think the son will ultimately see that and respect women even more so for it. What children look at and bring with them into adulthood is the dynamic between the 2 parents... if he sees his dad abusing his mum, he'll be more likely to abuse women. If he sees his mum no standing up for herself, h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 11:39 AM
13

Yes agree too...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 11:26 AM
246

Looool I am glad to see that none of this would have worked on me.. even the line "I love your vibes" is cringy af.. I am like what... how can you know my vibes without even talking to me, ugh. Or even with the "what's happening" line, I don't know why I can't.. doesn't sit right... and well IG is the last straw.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 11:15 AM
6

Yes to this.. it is all really simple. Him befriending a woman while he is in a relationship was the first sign for OP to see he is trash. That's something that would instantly put me off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 11:09 AM
101

I have to say I don't get all the posts promoting to live together before being engaged to test it out... I am referring to engagement here and nothing prevents you from moving in together after the man proposes.. if things go sour you can always break off the engagement... Second, you have to trust yourselves ladies.. there are many ways to observe if he will be a good partner while living apart: 1) As the relationship grows you might see each other about 5 times a week anyway (no more though).…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 10:18 PM
94

A HVM is clear with his intentions...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 06:34 PM
104

Oh god, you are describing my ex to a T so much that it's scary.... he was definitely a narcissist. I also started to understand that when they say you want to control me or take my freedom, it's actually projection because they want to control your thoughts so that you never object...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 01:41 PM
8

100% agree with this comment. The above is quite pickme to be honest... you should ask more from a partner.. if you want to spend time together at the end of the day, but outside because one of you couldn't get out all day for whatever reason, you should feel comfortable asking your partner for this... why be in a relationship otherwise if it's to do things only by yourselves and not share intimate moments.... God women really have to ask more for themselves. Personnally I am not interested in h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 08:21 PM
13

Yes the main milestones when a mask drops off is when you move in, get married or have kids
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 08:13 PM
89

Exactly this! You dodged a bullet
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 11:05 PM
10

This is my ex to a T, a narcissist ...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 08:34 AM
18

THIS! The guys IRL are the same as the ones in OLD... The only thing is that OLD is low effort to ask you out..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 08:30 AM
9

This is exactly the type of man I want...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 09:27 PM
19

Yeah agree no such thing... it's again a way of lowering our standards by thinking it's not that bad. If a father is not good to the mother of his kids he is LVM in my opinion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 09:19 PM
7

If you are in Europe there is no way for your data to be shared to the Chinese govt... GDPR exists for a reason and even if not in Europe, they really don't care about basic users data nor can they access it anyway because of other data protection mechanism... The only things they need is to apply their algorithm to your research and consumption to make you enjoy the app more. A lot of misinformation on this thread
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 01:10 AM
10

Noticed the same! Could be the Christmas season too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 09:30 PM
21

Best comment!! And inconsistency is an important one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 09:14 PM
45

You were okay with him going on holidays alone with a female friend??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 09:13 PM
3

Same! Men rarely do things alone
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 08:59 PM
1

🤣🤣🤣 excellent
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 08:53 PM
17

Yeah I am the same last date I've been on was 5 weeks ago or so and it was from OLD. I am not much on OLD these days which reduces considerably your options whether good or not... plus when on it don't find many suitable men to begin with. So I never really understood how anyone scrotates to be honest... either you are on OLD and you give the benefits of the doubt to all guys on it or... I don't know how one does
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 11:23 PM
7

Yeah but he is a deluded character who typically would position himself as a victim in any circumstances and hold grudges forever as we can see, so there's that... For sure it's a godamn good show on the psychological aspects
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 10:59 AM
36

Yeah it was an eye opener for me too as I've, too, been involved with one antisocial/narcissistic man in my pickme days... and well I remember thinking, while watching the show..wow few more levels of pickmeism and I could have found myself in a situation like this.... freaked me out... so I thought it was essential to post this. Also read an article and apparently, when in prison, women were throwing themselves at him, and he would throw one away for the next one and the more he was resisting t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 09:13 PM
1

This
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 06:20 PM
44

Was gonna say. Friendship between opposite sexes is a myth
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 06:18 PM
111

Yes I want to... because I don't want a man to have his cake and eat it too. Basically don't want to make it easy on them, especially if I have to have children with him. It's just showing commitment, don't want a half-in man, no thanks. But I also believe in divorce, will always keep savings so that I can leave anytime and will never depend financially on a man. And finally, it'll take a very special man for me to marry him with very strict vetting. Either that or I stay on my own but no in-bet…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 10:13 PM
101

What's wrong with men seriously... and at least, this one is overtly admitting it.. many narcissist would secretely resent you as soon as you're happy and yourself and punish you by entering into a rage or silent treatment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 07:23 PM
21

What??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 01:20 PM
7

God can't stand this over the top feminine justification of male behaviors.. and it's everytime.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 12:15 AM
3

Therapy is you best friend and get rid of all the toxic people (yes including you father) in your life. It's hard but so worth it. You have to expect much more from people and speak up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 10:14 PM
2

100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 03:55 PM
1

Exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 09:59 PM
13

Yeah like for instance at some point in the book she says: if your man wants to go to strippers for his bachelor party, just say you're gonna strip for yours as my friend did and it worked blablabla. I was like sorry ??? Just leave the loser seriously....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 09:57 PM
9

Oh my god thank you!!! I was thinking the exact same while reading. Hate it. There are some good points but most of it is about trying to turn a LVM into a HVM... The book "he is just not that into you" is much better. Concise and straight to the point
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 09:49 PM
160

Yep was gonna say this one. Used to think it was what passion was...treat me like shit but then they'd claim they hurt themselves by treating me this way.. and that they loved me more than anything yadi yadi yada
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 09:43 PM
54

Same, my dad is the same. Don't speak to him either. What a loser
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 09:03 PM
30

I so hear you as like you, thanks to FDS, I am merciless whenever I feel like something is odd. Also blocked a guy who acted the exact same way as yours...at first...and as the night went by, I just felt like something was off with him complimenting other women and some other things (actually wrote a post about it) etc I, for once, listened to my gut despite the guy being 100%my style physically. Feels liberating and empowering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 11:37 PM
15

100% I was kinda say I understand him but I didn't look at it the right way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 11:22 PM
67

Had that happen to me with a guy I had dated for 2 months. Well needless to say, it marked the end of the relationship...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 06:59 PM
2

He is definitely not dumb. He knows what he is doing and even if he complied quietly, it's only resent her down the line that he "did so much for her".... been there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 09:50 AM
7

It basically gave me player's vibes if I have to sum it up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 09:16 PM
19

Yeah so it was likely deliberate...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 12:58 PM
68

Bad taste! This is exactly the perfect way to describe it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 11:54 PM
23

Yeah it's not a major red flag to me either but curious to see what others think, particularly women accustomed too HVM (and well....I am not one of them so you know...used to shitty behavior overall)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 11:46 PM
115

I have to say, I don't trust guy who are on instagram or who are overly active on it in a weird way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 11:18 PM
3

Yeah but most of the time you have to engage in awkward situations to level up...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 01:13 PM
105

100% true because you're not even encouraging them to be the best version of themselves by settling and everyone, men and women, wants someone who pushes them to be better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 01:10 PM
24

Agree
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 09:27 PM
3

Well looks like they are both LV. Not apologizing and giving a heads up for being late is plain rude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 11:54 PM
51

Thank you MODS for finally posting this! So many women think that meeting men in the wild involves less risks and it can't be further from the truth
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 11:39 PM
2

Exactly! I actually recognize my mum so much in the article.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 11:35 PM
4

Well done for dumping. He is a total narc and his attitude is so similar to my ex's who has confirmed narcissistic personality disorder. He too would talk about how all his exes left him and how I was the only one truly there for him. Anyway you did so well!! He is a psychopath..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 09:40 PM
40

??? I don't see what the problem is. The son's reaction is actually perfectly normal. For once, it's a guy who puts his partner before his family which is the right thing to do if you want to have a committed relationship and we don't see that often. Why would the mum need to live with them.. I don't get it. Sure she helped him for years but did she do that just so that he feels forever beholden.... well that sucks. I saw another comment and yes I smell some narc vibes from the mum too. They usu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 09:26 PM
18

But even there's nothing to be jealous about when someone goes back to their ex who dumped them....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 12:42 AM
80

I mean obviously this guy is a sociopath
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 02:29 PM
20

I think a lot of people confuse co-dependent with clingy or needy. Co-dependence is, to sum up, the act of putting yourself last in order to make sure everyone is feeling ok... and that passes through not actually listening to your intituition because that will require to put yourself first and end the relationship for you own sake. Very few people are actually clingy, the response is usually a result of not listening to ourselves and our body sends signals through anxiety... (all the feelings y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 06:51 PM
36

Oh yeah ot is an LV career but even without doing this career you are objectified if you're attractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 09:14 PM
181

Me too. They don't value her at all. They want to prove to themselves they can get her and then, destroy her because they are jealous brats with low self esteem. Or they don't dare to approach her because they think they are not good enough ... Lost game
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 08:49 PM
102

Oh my god... i swear gorgeous women have it the hardest. The only reason a man is with a beautiful woman is because how he'd look with her at his arm and for her body. But whenever this is gone because the woman get older, then no longer care because they never really loved us for who we are, never saw us. And they acted HVM to keep your physics. At least, when you are not that attractive, you have more guarantees they love you for who you are... This is heartbreaking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 08:37 PM
72

Was gonna reply the exact same comment and also interested in knowing where you met your current bf!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 02:31 PM
8

Surely it has to be a joke...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 10:05 PM
19

We had the exact same ex. Mine was defo a narcissist. I remember one day I actually told, why do you always want something to be wrong with you...😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 09:18 PM
9

This hits home so much ): May I also add that if he was the one to be late and you call him out on it, he'd be you are so controlling, I can't do anything without you monitoring my every moves, you don't own me, you're always angry about something or whatever else, while lashing out agressily or even leave the table. It's actually pure projection because they know they control you so that you keep your mouth shut
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/21 11:38 PM
81

Yes exact same! And this is actually my whole strategy, if I ever find myself again wondering if a dude is gonna cheat on me, when he's gonna text me yadi yadi yada, then I am out! A HVM would never make you feel this way, so that's one clue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 07:20 PM
10

Yes my nex was like that. Completely narcissist and of course, they won't tell you they've been diagnosed with a personality disorder...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 09:06 AM
13

THIS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 09:04 AM
5

Oh yeah!! Surprised and laughing are actually genious reactions!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 10:19 PM
6

Congrats on the journey! 😁😁😁 Yeah when I look back I am like how did I ever think that smoking weed on your own was ok....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 10:17 PM
21

It's worrying the number of women with no self-esteem really... I listen to Deborrah Cooper on youtube ans I want a friend like her 😂. She doesn't take s*** and she's perfectly fine having no men as well as advocating that women are, more often than not, better off by themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 10:15 PM
2

Yeah you're probably right to be honest..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 10:08 PM
3

Yeah... it's like they just don't get it. And yeah he is the one who actually encourages me to weed out severely, go towards what I want assertively and to not doubt myself, alongside FDS, as part of pickme recovery lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 10:06 PM
25

Oh yes! Real men love a women with boundaries and who speaks out for her truth. My therapist (again lol) actually told me that men like women who call them out or thump the table. All the rest are LVMs, poor little things who can't accept an ounce of criticism and psychopaths.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 10:01 PM
6

Yes you have to agree that it's what you want to move towards and be on the same page about it but not saying yes with the save the date set without being proposed to, while in the meantime living together. The guy won't even sweat if he ends up proposing, like for real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 09:00 PM
73

The thing is, and as you said in your last paragraph, the ones who push for sex are generally LVM in my opinion. Any HVM have no interest in having sex with someone they don't feel emotionally connected to. It's not about playing a role to get them emotionally connected, it's about coming across these HVM who will tell you, point blank, they'd rather wait. They do exist, my very first bf didn't want to rush into sex, wanted to get to know me etc. Then I left him for a LVM (18y old pickmeisha me)…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 01:32 PM
63

"HVM are looking for the right woman whereas LVM are just waiting for the right time"... So true, will keep that one in mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 09:51 AM
1

My thoughts exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 11:33 PM
3

No I never tell the exact reason..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 11:25 PM
-4

why would I ghost someone if he's been anything but decent and that the reason why I don't see fit are only inherent to myself and my preferences ? Without explaining the reasons of course! I think there was some confusion because I said explanation but no, I actually meant informing the person you no longer want to continue dating. It doesn't cost anything to send a text saying you don't feel it... it shows you have integrity. At some point, I treat people the way I want to be treated, whether …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 11:19 PM
75

Oh this is massively disrespectful! And this all interaction is the start of (if not already there) emotional abuse... Hope she gets out before it's too late...if you have to explain basic human decency to someone, they are a psychopath to me. Period. Let's stop trying to understand the why to what, the behavior is just there in front of OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 10:16 PM
55

100% with you on this. Even if they don't attack you, they'll gashlight you or become hostile and agressive. I always just continue as if I will be seeing them again and it's only when I get home that I send a text to say it's not gonna be a match. Would only ghost if the guy really doesn't deserve a ounce of explanation because of a potential deplorable attitude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 06:01 PM
324

Had the same happen to me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 12:34 AM
35

Yes I think it's the most accurate answer here. He would have never made a move on OP if he wasn't intending to properly date her because he respected her too much; and/or he didn't feel worthy enough. I had this happen to me even in my now 30s as well. I believe all guys categorize women into either wifey material or just hookup material. In a way, I do this too with guys.. only difference is that it's either husband material or scrotes/NVM/LVM material 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 10:27 PM
58

I feel like the therapist actually said that it's not ok to watch porn but that he can masturbate, employing the phrasing it's your body etc. And that's where he twisted the thing the therapist said, to his gf because he saw, in this advice, a half validation to enable himself (as in, well if I can masturbate that means I can still watch porn - because well...otherwise how would I masturbate..)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 05:43 PM
54

We all know by now that these women's magazine are written by pickmes who are desperate to get any man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 10:33 PM
127

Omg what a great man with integrity!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 10:17 PM
195

Was gonna say. This is actually what he wants. Don't try to justify his behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 10:16 PM
12

Actually didn't but I might!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 09:39 PM
78

I 100% agree with this. Honestly the advice, overall, are not some nonsense you find here and there on internet that just contribute to the "game" between men and women. It all boils down to what my therapist (who is a guy-bless him) recommend for my (love) life. It's about not selling youself short, something we've been conditioned to forget by the patriarchy and misoginy. Real men understand that and are actually not attracted to pickmes, 'cause they know you don't build a life with women of w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 08:28 PM
10

Aww thank you so much for sharing 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 11:12 PM
97

Well I don't give my number either befofe meeting. Hasn't bothered anyone so far. Already a red flag the guy reacted this way..! Good riddance
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 01:50 PM
38

I actually went to read the actual post because I was curious about the comments and so glad to see, that so many people called him out, telling him he doesn't deserve to have a family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 11:43 PM
34

Yup on the cluster b personality disorder and they are untreatable
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 04:14 PM
37

Omg this gives me the chill since my ex strangled me. TG I left him a few weeks after that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 03:39 PM
283

When he downplays the threat of sexual harassment women have to endure or doesn't believe in it. When he sleeps with a woman he doesn't even fancy because "Eh a hole is a hole" (heard this among guys and saw a guy acting on it, it was horrifying) When he defends sex work
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 03:36 PM
3

Same!! Was about to comment that! It's not just about the sleepovers, it's everything!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 09:49 PM
13

Yeah I totally agree when I come to think. I replied on another comment to this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 03:00 PM
15

Yeah this is kinda what I am thinking as well. Now to be fair the 1st and 2nd date are 3 days apart but it still doesn't feel right actually, so I might just end it now. I actually texted yesterday something related to sthg we discussed to which he replied quickly enough and asking me some low effort questions but then I got frustrated so I just stopped engaging (meaning I didn't try to overdo it by trying to keep the convo going, I just stopped replying...). And haven't heard from him since. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 02:59 PM
3

My nex said to me I am not as good as you think I am or I was messing with my exes' head ... (why didn't I left as soon as...) but I don't even know if he is aware of his personality disorder ... If he is, he never told me anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 11:13 AM
13

Exactly!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 09:01 PM
14

My thoughts exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 08:04 AM
3

Based on what you said, I don't think it's actually the job loss that bothers you (and all in all 3 months isn't that long to be unemployed, depending on the field he works in - i think people need to cut some slack when one faces hardship - could happen to any of us...). However, you might sense in your gut that he is not the upbeat, resourceful, resilient or ambitious guy you thought he was. You might sense that he actually doesn't "seduce" you or contribute much to the relationship, even if o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 11:03 PM
4

Ah great I see. Makes sense, thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 07:30 PM
31

This is so true! Actually, even in the animal world, the male chase the female most of the time, with very rare exceptions. Look at the male birds how they parade just to impress the female 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 02:05 PM
20

I second Joe Rogan 1000x times
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 01:45 PM
13

On the finance dudes, I consider accountants to be part of finance so what gives ?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 11:30 AM
287

Oh you have no idea. Was approached a year ago by a woman who spotted me at a table with my friends, and guess what... she ordered glasses of prosecco for me and all my friends without ever introducing herself. Just out of generosity. Didn't even tell the waiter to tell me, it was one of my friend who found out. I left and told her thank you from a distance and she was fine with it.. she tried her chance and I am not romantically attracted to women, so no point going to her. It was just so nice,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 11:47 PM
43

Has anyone reported this?? What platform is it on?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 09:40 AM
2

Yes totally agree with this. The sub is becoming really negative which is not good for our beliefs either. Instead. I'd like ti be equipped with the tools to pick the right partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 09:34 AM
111

Yeah same my NVX said women weren't more sexually harrassed than men and he's been a victim a few times himself. Completely deluded..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 12:52 PM
13

🥰🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 12:51 PM
144

Omg what a dumbass... Note how he talks about her by THE wife.. I'd cringe being referred to as is, like an object who's only useful to fill its use. Love the "like I knew she would..." too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 11:37 AM
61

Lol I stopped reading at this sentence. 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 02:18 PM
47

100% I am coming to this conclusion as well. Now I don't even bother explaining them the why to the what (which is a pickme behavior) as they know what they are doing and I just take actions for what feels right for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 02:20 PM
14

Recently, I've read a woman say that what makes her want to be with a man is if she prefers his company to her own (which means a HUGE challenge for the guy) and I found that so accurate. Personally, I, like you, love my own company; so if I find myself not looking forward to go home or even happy to just be with him, even in silence, then that's the jackpot - which is so rare. Outside of that one criteria I've overlooked so many times in my pickme days, he has to be compassionate, respectful, h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 02:16 PM
1

Yes I've heard of this too! And it makes sense. Yeah try to keep myself level-headed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 05:18 PM
3

lol I wish I had 2 should have stayed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 03:13 PM
15

ugh, what the actual f***?? Is it even for real ? What sort of respectable guy would just stand up there smiling.. What a moron, loving feeling desired. He thinks he is a prize now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 03:10 PM
1

I just feel like women from older generation had more respect for themselves though
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 01:48 PM
5

Yes you're probably right. It's probably never been a thing. Just tend to think that the older generation had it better, but maybe not actually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 10:38 AM
6

I've met the worse human beings in real life and I know so many people around me who met gems from OLD so here we go. And when you actually listen to the FDS podcast they are not that against OLD, you just have to weed out severely. Which in my case goes to the point where I don't even go on any dates lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 10:35 AM
6

THIS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 10:33 AM
5

Yeah sometimes I am so angry at women for the situation they put us in. Most contributed to this bar put in hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 10:31 AM
95

Yep, when they are still trying to get you, they communicate somewhat and once they feel they have you, that's about it.. you are too demanding. Good thing you left! These guys are usually emotionnally unavailable anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 09:06 PM
108

This is exactly it! They just wants the status of a relationship without putting in the efforts. Oh yeah I am steering definitely clear but my eyes could not believe it. Thank god we have FDS honestly, to keep us sane...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 09:03 PM
1

Omg this spot is hilarious. Love the ending too 😂 The guy knows he can't compare haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 10:03 AM
40

It's 100% for you to shut up and not call him out. 'Cause pickmes would naturally want to show they are different and that they are not like his "crazy" ex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 04:41 PM
11

Yeah I think that's what she wants, to be impregnated "naturally". Especially as in some countries, you can't ask for a sperm donor if you're single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 12:00 PM
9

Yes exactly! I've heard of women therapists gashlighting other women because they were "too demanding"... I actually think women therapist are worse than the men because the men ones know what actually goes on in some men's mind and they can teach you how to recognize it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 10:52 PM
2

Yes this is absolutely 100% true, they have it 10x times worse. I used to always say that when you are less attractive, at least you know the guy came to you because he genuinely liked you and your persona and that he is not seeking any type of power. Whereas attractive women attract a lot of guys who either want to show her off as a trophey or prove to themselves and others that they can get a woman like that. I learned this too late in life unfortunately and it requires to weed out even more h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 01:35 PM
34

Well I am kinda going to differ a bit. I totally agree that there is a lot of scrotes and LVM on OLD, so many that it gives you a sense of hopelessness about the male gender but: be careful about who you meet IRL too.... I've met all my exes IRL and you can't imagine how LV they are, the last one being by far the worse and I met him through friends... Recovering pickme there ✋ And everytime I was biaised because eh I met them IRL so they must be normal.. lol I actually know so many couples who a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 04:14 PM
23

Oh my god, what a refreshing article. Hopefully this trend continues and spreads openly worldwide.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 11:50 AM
38

Yep my emotionally abusive ex told me a few things early on that I, unfortunately, overlooked: " I am not as good as you think I am" "I am afraid to mess this up" "I have low self-esteem so I messed with my exes' head" At the time, I was like how, you're the best I've ever met (love bombing phase) Then it got worse and worse ... and I had even had the privilege to get a "from now on I will be brutally honest..." towards the end of the relationship. Oh my, I am so glad I finally left after 1y of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 11:35 AM
10

Yep I would cut my losses. Definitely not the type of person I'd want to spend my life with. If anything you want a boyfriend to be your best confident...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 12:17 PM
5

Yeah my ex was one of them but would actually fit into 5 of the 7 quoted profiles, especially the water torturer - the most vicious I find... (right.. lucky me..) but I am learning loads from it now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 10:07 PM
6

Totally, it's interesting actually, my own therapist, who is a man (bless him), literally told me that there are more and more single moms or women who carry all the responsibilities in the relationship while the man's contribution is really minimal. It"s scary!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 07:39 PM
5

Right! Well said!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 07:30 PM
4

Yeah I've had a date one day tell me he was looking for something convenient. Like you are at a party, even if we don't talk to each other that's fine, we know we are together.... LOL Needless to say I stopped dating this LVM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 04:55 PM
1

Oh wow and he is not even subtle!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 04:52 PM
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