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Small-University-875 Archive

View 13 posts and 181 comments by Small-University-875 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

My mediation didn't go well. Because she didn't think I deserved any time with my kids. Never went to trial though. I was able to reel her back in from whatever planet she thought she was on and when I told her I would appoint a GAL who will more likely than not grant 50/50 custody and also how their schedule would be implemented by the judge and it may not be something either of us want/like. Parenting time was our biggest issue to figure out. After I told her what I told her, she signed the sc…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 10:08 AM
6

My advice is don't sign anything if you don't agree to it. My ex was not willing to budge on anything so I straight up didn't agree to any of it. It may be better if the mediator you see isn't a very biased woman and is actually a neutral party.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 02:07 PM
5

Congrats bro! I've been brainstorming tats, but haven't decided on anything yet. Hitting the gym 3-4 days a week trying to put on some muscle. My stress and anxiety levels are the lowest they've been in years.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 12:42 AM
1

My ex filed first, we went to mediation. Then it was our attorneys playing phone/email tag with each other. I got sick of that real quick and had my attorney draft up a judgment of divorce first and send it to opposing counsel. So even though my ex filed first, my judgement of divorce is what is on file.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 10:16 AM
1

I wouldn't say anything, it's not their business and yes everyone will be gawking because it's what people do. I live in a rural area, houses aren't very close. Never met the people across the street and over a bit. They drove by when she had her "moving crew" here and those people still break their neck looking this way every time I see them drive past.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 10:13 AM
1

Validating her feelings is key. When I have my boys during the week my ex is at work. So if they mention her, which surprisingly to me has been a very rare occurrence, I acknowledge that they miss her and let them know it's okay to feel that way. Then I remind them that she is at work today and they're usually good.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 12:31 PM
3

Quality time, doesn't have to be anything crazy. Could just be hanging out at home. I took my boys bowling today and they were cheering me on every time I went up to bowl. My oldest son is 4 and will randomly throw out compliments that I'm the best at whatever we're doing, or things like that and it is really a great pat on the back that I'm doing good.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 02:59 AM
2

My reasoning was because I'm 30, had almost 100k in there and it didn't effect my current financial situation because I had to pay her like 20k for the buyout. Still sucks any way you do it, but I have a lot of time to build it back.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 06:24 PM
1

I used some of my 401k to buy her out to avoid a refinance. Both names were on the title, only I was on the mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 04:19 PM
7

Yes, a group of my friends that I knew before her too. All the women in that group are toxic, drama loving bitches. Also later found out that one of her best friends is getting divorced. Timeline is very similar to mine. They wanted their own phone plans at the same time too. Easy to do it when everyone's doing it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 07:53 PM
1

Honestly just enjoy what you have going and don't worry about the future. Your girlfriend most likely knows you're divorced (I hope) and therefore there is obviously a reason it happened. My ex and I agreed that if we met someone who we were going to get serious with we'd introduce them to the other because it would be someone that is spending time around our kids. I wouldn't cross that bridge til you get there. Just take things one day at a time.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 02:08 PM
4

I'd explain that she's a sociopath to your new girlfriend, but also depending on the age of your kids I'd hope you haven't had your girlfriend around the kids because it's pretty unfair and confusing for them. I would never bring a girlfriend around my kids unless we were very serious and potentially taking things to the next level.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 02:01 PM
1

You've got your whole life ahead of you. I'll be 30 this year and have 2 kids. I felt the same way as you during my divorce and I can tell you things will get way better.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 01:41 AM
4

My ex to a T
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 08:14 PM
1

Pretty sure you need an attorney to go through discovery to find that out
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 11:38 PM
1

Yeah that's the plan, but it's fun for now. She is cool she comes over here we play video games for a bit and then have some fun. But I really have zero emotions for her it's just a fwb type thing to me and I think she's getting that hint. It has been a good boost of confidence for me too
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 05:16 PM
1

Yeah fortunately I have a busy week and she knows I have kids so I'm not talking to her much until at least next week. It's definitely a red flag for me, but I know she's out of an 8 year relationship. I don't care if I'm a rebound for her because I'm not trying to date. She wanted me to go out with her and her friends and I said no. Then she wanted to meet halfway for dinner and ended up telling me she'll just come over and we don't have to go out lol. Sex with my ex was the same. Started out g…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 02:32 PM
5

Don't move out and have a recorder running 100% of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 02:15 PM
1

They tried using my last year's pay, best financial year of my career go figure. I had like 250 more overtime hours last year than the previous two years. Luckily everyone agreed that and we used a "fake" number for my salary kind of like an average which everyone agreed to. I will say after seeing the calculations, the number of over nights effects the CS amount way more than your income.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 01:00 PM
3

Give yourself some empathy and realize how normal what you're experiencing is. I felt the exact same way as you and many others have too. It's all part of the healing process. I still have days where I have zero drive for anything, but they are few and far between. Now it's been getting easier, I have been consistently in the gym, meeting new people there, even just small talk helps me feel better and more confident. The days I don't have my kids are just like yours, work, gym, sleep. I play vid…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 12:57 PM
1

Same I recently hooked up with this chick a couple times. Sex is incredible, so much more fun than my ex. But I think this girl has some feelings and I do not need that lol.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 12:03 PM
4

You sound like where I was a while back, felt like I would have done anything to change her mind after she filed. Then I slapped myself with a reality check and once I accepted I was in love with what she could be and not what she is, and I got rid of that fantasy, I just wanted her to gtfo of my house so I could move on.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 12:45 PM
1

Thanks for the reply, I already removed her from everything earlier
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 11:42 PM
1

I deactivated Facebook, and I have reactivated for one day to use marketplace, didn't scroll at all just did what I need to do and re deactivated it. I still have Instagram but it's honestly just for the dumb videos me and my buddy's send each other
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 08:32 PM
1

Funny how during the process she said on her weekends we could meet up at the park or something. I've seen plenty of posts of her taking the kids to play and never once have I been asked to go. The boys have been transitioning well, and don't ask about her when they're with me, I'm sure it's the same when they are with her. That doesn't bother me because I know they don't ask about her, they're little and don't have that sort of attention span yet.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 03:09 PM
2

Thanks for the reminder. I have lots of pics of them on my phone that I've taken, but I need to add them to my walls.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 03:05 PM
2

That's how it was for us too. Except she still has hers and like most women today, seems to feed off the likes from her equally toxic friends. Most of which are wives of a group of my friends that I knew long before they knew her. I've since learned who my true friends are and have told myself, as much as it kind of sucks, fuck all those people. I now have a small group of very close friends that I am in contact with almost daily.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 01:23 PM
2

I will admit she has been good about that and contact with her has been "strictly business" just kid stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 09:42 AM
5

Yeah you're right. Thanks bro
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 02:41 AM
5

I honestly haven't searched for her on there at all, but I appreciate the blunt answer you gave. I think sometimes it still takes hearing it from someone else. I just removed her and certain other people who were close with her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 01:15 AM
1

Recently divorced, started hitting the gym hard and working on myself. I think my lack of confidence is what ruins my shot because I don't have the balls to approach girls usually. Downloaded tinder for the hell of it and got a kill this past weekend. She's pretty fresh out of a long relationship herself, and the sex was fucking awesome. My ex was very vanilla and my first time with this chick I did several things I've always wanted to try that I figured I was going to die without ever doing lol…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/23 09:47 PM
1

I miss the dog too. Everytime I drop my kids off with my ex the dog is so happy to see me and brings a toy to me like she always would before
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 11:34 AM
10

Going to the fucking gym, sitting in the sauna after my workout, then playing video games on my new soundbar that I didn't have to hear about buying. Turning it up loud too
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 02:26 PM
1

Embrace that shit and use them being there as motivation to show that your divorce was the best thing for you
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 02:35 PM
1

That's how I feel, my ex took the dog. I miss having a dog around, but the newly found freedom I have on the days she has the kids and I have no pets or responsibilities at home it's been nice. In time I most definitely need another dog.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 04:24 PM
1

We read a book to our kids called Two Homes before ex moved out. I still felt like more explanation needed to be given, but she thinks the less is more approach is best and we will answer their questions in time as they get older and ask, but my boys are 2 and 4.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 11:26 AM
2

I thought we were going to be amicable, she told me from day 1 how this doesn't have to be expensive or difficult. Guess who made it expensive and difficult. Mediation works if you are willing to negotiate, not if one party says here's the best I can do take it or leave it. And the mediator also can't be a moron like mine was.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 11:17 AM
3

I agree with this, although my ex's demands weren't really financial like yours seem to be. Mine was very demanding about parenting time and acted like she was entitled to all the time with the kids and me, nothing. It wasn't until I told her that if she and I can't, as parents, figure out the best schedule for our kids, then I will appoint a GAL and they will make that decision for us. Then told her the schedule which the GAL comes up with may be something neither of us are happy about. Long st…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 11:11 AM
1

He said my ex and I can go to the friend of court and file a credit form to essentially have the outstanding balance wiped and start fresh as of February 2023. My ex said she will do that with me. Just really annoying that her attorney has been such a moron for this whole thing. Their original motion for divorce had the wrong names in it. The document I signed said February 2023 so I don't know how they would have mismatched my signed document with a document that had a different date on it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/23 05:34 PM
1

I did. We all understand it's a simple clerical mistake, but obviously the consequences are not so simple. My ex and I need to go to the friend of the court and have a credit form filed to wipe this false past due balance off my account and start with a clean slate moving forward. She sounds like she will do that and it should be all that needs to happen. If not then yes my attorney will request that her attorney files the correctly dated document to the court and if he won't then my attorney fi…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/23 03:41 PM
1

Well I looked at my judgement of divorce, it says January 2022 there. The document that I signed said February 2023. This has been an issue all along from opposing counsel, wrong names on the original motion they filed, etc. Current balance is 9k in past due child support. 10k is a felony. It was filed too recently for someone to come looking for me, but if I didn't catch this it could certainly result in me getting arrested until this clerical errors was confirmed. You can bet your ass if that …
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/23 03:32 PM
2

This is a good idea. I also forwarded all of this on to my attorney and asked them what they recommend doing about an issue like this.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/23 01:23 PM
2

Yes I was, I have an email from my attorney specifically him telling me "here is the corrected document with the child support starting February 2023" and that's what I signed
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 11:56 PM
1

Talk to a therapist, talk to friends, find a new hobby, paint a wall. Seriously just have to stay busy. My ex randomly sent me a Snapchat memory of me from a couple years ago. I didn't really know how to process that so I don't think I even responded. The only reason I have her on there still is because she sends me pictures and videos of my kids playing, though I don't expect that forever. To me it sounds like you've still got that part of you that wants it to work and for things to turn around…
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 11:32 AM
2

You sound like a woman making up all of these hypothetical scenarios. If she's never shown any intent of any of these worries you have then just drop it dude. You're ruining your own marriage over thoughts in your head.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 06:29 PM
3

I actually enjoy the fact that I don't have a dishwasher, I never have dirty dishes this way. All of these are very good points. I painted some more of my house yesterday and it took me all f'ing day, (can't you tell I love it) anyways it gives a great sense of accomplishment when it's finally done. I've also only gotten better at doing it. Staying busy is key, doesn't really matter what. Socializing with friends helps, but just go go go.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 01:04 PM
3

I hope you're able to get this figured out, definitely stay on your lawyers ass about it and don't give in. My split wasn't that crazy, and it sucks you have to deal with that BS. But I will tell you that my ex had some crazy parenting time expectations and I was not going to hardly see my kids ever which she seemed totally okay with. Then proceeded to live with me and sleep next to me for the next 6 months, but her lawyer told the judge I'm the emotionally abusive spouse... Needless to say I ba…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 01:57 PM
4

Congratulations, I felt an odd sense of nothing on my day. Wasn't happy, wasn't sad, just was what it was. I pretty much found out via email with a signed copy stamped by the court
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 07:19 PM
7

My buddy said buy gas station gift cards every time you go get gas.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 10:56 AM
2

Can you appoint a GAL?
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 12:38 AM
13

Welcome to the double standard that is being a woman. It's okay for her to do whatever she wants, but don't you dare tell her what she can and can't do.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 12:22 AM
4

I thought part of me was going to miss her after we officially split and she moved out two weeks ago. I haven't found that part of me that misses her yet. I've painted, bought my own furniture, arranged things how I like them and never heard a word from anyone else about the way I did it. I have 50/50 custody of my two boys and I thought that was going to be hell not seeing them every day. So far the reality is that I have the days without them to get everything on my mind done. This frees up th…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 07:46 PM
2

I was in the same boat a couple weeks ago. It gets better. The idea of it was way worse than the reality of it (so far at least). I kept the house and the first weekend she had the kids. It was go go go for me moving my stuff in, painting, making things my own and getting the house up and running again and just staying busy. The whole process for me seemed a little too easy and I think the way the world operates virtually was part of that. My ex is the one who filed and I never stepped into the …
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 12:09 PM
2

My ex basically assumed the animals were hers, dog and 2 cats. I'm not a cat person, so I didn't mind that, but our dog loved me and the marital home I kept has 5 acres and she loved to explore the yard and run through the woods. Her new place has a small fenced in yard. Best part is when my ex came to get the animals, I was in my bedroom and she came and went. Didn't even ask if I wanted to say goodbye to the dog.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 01:14 PM
15

The war already started. All of your anxiety will fade once this is done and over with. Trust me on that. I didn't realize how much toll the stress of living with her took on me. My chest was always tight, I felt like any move I made was scrutinized by her. After everything was finalized and there were no more what ifs, all of my physical symptoms of my stress disappeared.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 02:19 PM
1

It is very time consuming getting through all that stuff, but once you get through all that stuff it is also very freeing. My ex moved out last weekend. My boys will be coming home to me today for the first time since Saturday. I have been busier than hell painting and moving all my stuff in and getting my house up and running again after she moved all her stuff out. It's been go go go for me the last 4 days and I've never felt better. No more walking on eggshells, a break from the kids, I'll pr…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 11:50 AM
1

Found this out after it was all said and done. In my case it's only non contested divorce, which mine ended up being and there was no trial. It would have been no cost to me because I'm in a union. Guess you live and learn, oh well just meant less money for the ex.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 11:04 AM
2

Well today was my first full day without her here. Slept in an extra hour or two, didn't have to hear about it or feel guilty for it. My parents came over and I got to work prepping the walls for paint, focusing on the living room for now, repainted the ceiling, painted all the walls. Took damn near a whole day because we had to patch some things. I'll tell you what I didn't think about her once. She stopped by for like 5 minutes to grab a few more small things she forgot, I didn't even interact…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 02:14 AM
1

Yep, and her attorney was going on and on to the judge about me being emotionally abusive and said things at home are very bad. Yet she continued living with me and sleeping next to me for the last 6 months.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 12:42 PM
3

Virtual fist bump haha. Congrats, that's something I thought about too playing a video game. I'm used to having the volume down low and now I can have it as loud as I want
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 01:21 AM
2

She would have fought me tooth and nail over 50/50 and we don't have the assets for a battle like that. She got one day more than me, since there's an odd number of days in a week it ends up being her with 8/14 and me with 6/14 days. I am keeping the house and paying her 20k for her equity via a 401k rollover. She gets her half of my marital 401k on top of that. And we split the bank account. I will pay 700 a month in child support. We were only married 4 years and I have a car which is a hobby/…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 12:07 AM
2

It's done done. I have the signed Judgement of Divorce from all parties and stamped by the county clerk.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 11:47 PM
1

We did not settle in mediation, but we didn't have a trial thank god. We were able to come to a parenting time schedule agreement and be amicable on everything else. Although the mediator and my attorney were both kind of surprised how quickly the judge ordered us to go to mediation
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 11:37 PM
3

Legally February 15th is her day she had to be out by. I have new door locks on standby.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 09:20 PM
2

She said she just wants to do this in peace. I told her she has all the peace in the world at her own house. Sure that came off as a dick but it's the truth. This is my house now and she has her own house now.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 08:39 PM
2

I can relate to this. I've introduced my older son to some fairly simple to play video games, he's 4. Ex hates video games, but my son loves them. He tells me how i have the best games and how cool they are and that makes me happy inside. He is very good about it too and when I tell him it's time to turn it off he hands me the controller and doesn't bring it up again.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 08:14 PM
2

Thanks. She just took the boys to her parents house and this begins out parenting time schedule. I most likely won't see them until Wednesday. My uncle just pulled up to be a second set of eyes along with my father while her crew takes things out. Everything just hit me and I'm sitting here in tears.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 01:40 PM
2

Yes that's how it goes. I know it's hard to not let it get to you, and it's also unhealthy to not let whatever emotions you're feeling out (not to her ever.) But to someone you trust who will listen, whether it's a friend, family member, or a therapist. Highly recommend therapist. Just need to stay busy doing your own thing. Go to the gym, play videogames, build something, paint a wall, whatever, just keep you mind busy. My ex moves out today, she has people coming over to help in a few hours. S…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 11:09 AM
13

That's how I feel. My ex is moving her shit out as we speak, she has a medical issue going on the last year and she's always in pain. She's the mother of my kids and struggling to bend down to get her stuff out of the kitchen cabinets. I offer to help and she looks at me and says "you're done hurting me" and starts sobbing uncontrollably.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 12:54 AM
3

Kind of stressful, but that will be over soon. I am keeping the marital home and there are a lot of plans I have been looking forward to changing things up. Most of the furniture is hers but I have sourced replacements for just about everything and it's all my style not her parents hand me downs that she didn't want to get rid of. We have two boys, 2 and 4 so that part will be an adjustment and it will suck seeing them half the time but that's just the way it will be now and everyone needs to ad…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 04:00 PM
7

My wife filed in July 2022 and she's moving out tomorrow.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 12:31 PM
4

Sorry I should have said kindergarten. It's at the public school. Within my judgment of divorce there is language about geographical restrictions.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 04:26 PM
3

We have a parenting time schedule, and we have a school decided. Kids are 2 and 4, 4 year old will start pre school in the fall.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 03:23 PM
7

Yep she is moving out Saturday, told me there will be a peace officer here because she thinks I'm going to cause trouble. I reminded her that I can't wait for her to get all her stuff out of here.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 02:05 PM
6

I was fortunate enough to not be married long enough for any alimony and she didn't try asking for it. I am on the hook for $700/month child support, but she originally thought she'd get $1300 for that so that was a win.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 11:40 PM
4

If you can provide evidence to the court that she abandoned the kids then you should get full custody. Get a GAL and explain everything.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 06:25 PM
3

Thanks man. Look forward to making my house my own now. We have hand me down furniture from her parents and it has worked, but it's definitely not my style. I tried talking to her years ago about getting new stuff and she was like "sorry my parents stuff isn't good enough for you". Went out yesterday by myself and bought a brand new kitchen table set that I love. I feel great about the money I spent and how freeing it felt to go and do that on my own.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 07:06 PM
1

Do you have to buy her out of the house via her half of the equity or did you get lucky and she doesn't know she's entitled to that?
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 11:35 AM
2

Yep I told her last night that I will be here, end of story. She of course tried making me feel like the bad guy for that and pulled all her emotion crap out trying to get me to come around, nope I'm not falling for those games.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 10:56 AM
3

Yes exactly and she tried making me feel like the bad guy when I told her that I will be here, end of discussion. I don't feel bad about it, I'm proud of myself for standing my ground. She's doing me a favor by leaving me.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 10:55 AM
4

I just told her I considered what she said last night about me not being here while she moves out and told her that I will be here and that's the end of the discussion and if someone feels uncomfortable then thats on them and it's not my problem because this is my house.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 12:59 AM
3

I'll be paying 700 a month child support no alimony
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 06:52 PM
2

She said she only needs them to help her with the big stuff, couches, beds, dressers. I am keeping all of the bedroom furniture, she said she will get her clothes packed up and nobody will need to go in there. It's the way she went about bringing it up to me that made it way weirder to me and way shadier of her than like anything she's ever done. Her sister's fiance is helping, her friend, who I've met before who I think nothing of is helping (he helped us move in too and he is very nice and res…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 05:49 PM
4

She has 60 days it's only been 2-3 weeks
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 01:28 PM
2

We are divorced, she is my ex at this time. The house is mine as stated in our judgement of divorce
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 01:08 PM
4

Yeah she can have all the peace in the world when she lives in her new place. What is she going to do? Refuse to move her things out if I'm here? Then I'll move her things to the driveway and they can pick them up outside.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 01:07 PM
8

Yeah she said that I'm going to make people uncomfortable by being there. And I said do I need to remind you who's house this is? If someone feels uncomfortable being in MY house that's not my problem, they shouldn't be here then. And guess what a couple hours to move your shit out and it's done and they don't need to be uncomfortable anymore. And you can have all the peace in the world at your new place.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 01:06 PM
1

I still don't want to think this way but it will come out soon enough. She has a medical issue with her back that makes her basically in pain all the time. It's really bad right now and she has a hard enough time just getting up and down off the couch I don't think she could be getting her back blown out by some dude like this, but getting banged isn't the only way to have a relationship and I'm sure there could be something emotional going on with someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 01:05 PM
3

Not even stbx anymore. It was all official as of December 13th, she IS my ex
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 01:02 PM
14

I'm kind of in the same boat, she closed on her new place today and I'm keeping the house we lived in together. Most of our furniture is her parents hand me downs and I never really cared for any of it, but it worked. So she'll be taking all of that and I haven't seen her start packing anything at all. I don't know how she plans on getting her stuff out of here, I'm not going to hurt myself lifting her stuff, and I also don't want whoever will be moving get stuff to bang up the walls and shit. I…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 07:27 PM
1

Sounds exactly like a rebound to me. Does this new person know your situation? Me personally after getting through this process I don't even want to look in the direction of a woman. Let alone go running into something like it sounds like you're doing. Maybe it's your way of coping. Focus on your daughter not on new relationships and consider a therapist if you aren't currently seeing one
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 11:55 AM
3

Michigan has a 6 months waiting period when children are involved which may potentially be able to be expedited if it's in the best interest of the child. With your stbx drug issues I'd get a GAL involved and I don't think there'd be any argument against you getting full custody.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 02:31 PM
2

In my state with kids involved there's a 6 months waiting period. She filed in July. It was final mid December.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/22 02:28 AM
9

First divorced Christmas for me. Met my parents for a hike (9°F outside). Then we stopped in a hole in the wall bar for some lunch and drinks. Ex took the boys to her parents for the day. I will be taking them to my parents house tomorrow without her of course. Sure it was a little different, but it's my new normal. Cheers to that
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 10:42 PM
2

Yes and I think since that is their life, they can just say I couldn't keep my marriage together and look down on me for that and continue to live according to their wives
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 03:29 PM
5

Yeah I get the feeling like they'd be the type to view me as a failure because I couldn't make my marriage work. I know there is greener grass ahead for me and I will not let that negative passive aggressive shit be part of my journey ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 01:50 PM
5

Yeah that part will suck and it will always be hard to not resent her for that, but resentment also doesn't earn any of that back. I'm only 29, but had around 85k in my 401k 30k was pre marital. I bought her out of the house with 20k of it, she got her half. I'll be left with around 36k of it. She had the audacity to tell me that since she worked almost full time she was contributing to that money. I asked her to show me where my 401k contributions were deducted from her paychecks. Women logic w…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 01:47 PM
12

Sounds typical to me, my ex is the same way except the kids are like the only thing that makes her happy. She really has no hobbies or anything else. The way I looked at this was yeah she's tearing apart what my vision of my future would have been. "normal" family life. The way I'm looking at it now is that I get to be the best dad I can be, on my terms. I get to enjoy my hobbies on my terms, no more answering or be made to feel guilty for doing what I like to do, or spending money on said hobbi…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 12:24 PM
7

I'm in the same boat as OP. Ex was friends with the all the wives in one of the friend groups ( my friends pre marriage). She's in a group chat with all those girls. None of those guys have asked me how I'm holding up throughout my divorce. I stopped sharing anything with them except for one who's been my friend for at least 15 years and he messaged me privately about what's going on. Anything else I've shared with that group always made it's way back to my ex. I reconnected with a friend who I …
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 10:52 AM
1

Definitely talk to someone friends, family, ideally a therapist. Don't fall into the "I'm a man I can have emotions" that's a dangerous place to be with what you have going on. My emotions have been all over the map during my divorce. I see a therapist and I think it would be very beneficial for you to do the same. Hang in there
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 11:04 AM
18

Pre marital amounts should be kept by the husband. For example my 401k had around 100k. 30k of that was premarital and not hers to touch.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 08:14 PM
18

$2500, half of the retirement/investments, and her half of the home equity. Bullshit isn't it?
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 08:04 PM
8

Yes it's unfortunate, but it seems to be the way they are. Doesn't help when I look at the kind of books she reads, and also the friends she have who are also toxic af. Seems like women support women regardless of their choices. I found it too convenient to learn that her friend who has left two husband's now left her second the same time my wife chose to leave me and they even live very close to each other now.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 12:52 PM
3

Also same ish 🤷 must be a trend
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/22 10:52 AM
2

Yeah I couldn't do too much about it when they were already willing to sort of average out my income. I've worked from home since covid and this is the first year since working from home that I've had A LOT of overtime and a big bonus. The last 2 years I worked zero overtime and I argued that this is not a normal year for me and it ended up working out for me that I brought it up.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 08:34 PM
2

And also I got 6/14 days and she got 8/14. Originally I was only looking at like 3, so it was a huge win for me, but still gives her the feeling of "winning" so she would accept it. We agreed to 700 as a deviation from the calculation. It was actually like $614, of course her attorneys calculation was $700. I wanted to meet at $650. But in reality this was the best financial year of my life and they were using like 80k as my income when in reality I made nearly 100k this year so I had to pick an…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 08:28 PM
2

Yes I make around 100k and she makes like 30k
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 07:54 PM
3

I was in a similar situation, she told me that child support would be $1300 a month. Which she didn't say at the time was calculated as if she was getting full custody. I obviously did not allow her to get full custody and now I will be paying $700 a month.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 05:01 PM
1

I feel like that's what I could use, but definitely no relationship yet
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 11:35 AM
1

Yes tell us what's going on so we can relate, I feel like groundhog day for a while now. She filed. Still lives here. Divorce was final as of Tuesday. She still lives here for another month or even two depending on how long it takes to close on her house. Every day is the same, but I know when she moves out and I get to move in all the furniture I've been acquiring from a storage unit to my house, it will be a great day and a huge relief.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 11:09 AM
2

I know everyone's situation is different, but my ex said the same thing. "This doesn't have to be expensive" "there's no reason it can't be easy". Come mediation she basically wants me to never see my kids, wants a whole bunch of money, etc. I would be very cautious and not take what she says with a grain of salt. Her actions will speak louder than words. My manager who went through a divorce of his own told me their horns always come out and he was 100% accurate with that statement. Fortunately…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/22 05:20 PM
1

This is how I feel about it too. I am going to be paying child support, but it is a number we agreed on separately from the calculation and it worked in my favor doing it this way.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/22 05:15 PM
3

Where is the harry potter reference? I don't know anything about what you're referring to
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/22 12:58 PM
1

Thanks I appreciate it, I'm doing my best. Work is stressful with the holiday break approaching, but I'm getting through it. I'm looking forward to my attorney telling me it's done, and I can't wait to remove her from all my accounts that same day.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 06:22 PM
1

Doing my best, work deadlines before the holiday and all the divorce stress is really fucking hard right now
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 03:31 PM
2

I appreciate your response, that's a good way to put it. My boys are 2 and 4 as long as they are having fun, happy, and alive at the end of the day I'm doing it right regardless if I'm doing things her way or mine.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/22 10:20 PM
3

I truly think it will be much easier to move on once she no longer lives here and co parents with me. It makes it really hard to not engage with her when I almost have to on a regular basis right now.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/22 04:53 PM
1

Mine is not that exact one, but it's an employer legal service. My representative told me that it's only for non contested divorce. Hindsight is 2020, I didn't consider that option and it would have basically been free for me, but I used a different law firm. Guess it's just less money to my stbx
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 10:30 AM
5

My stbx gave me like 1 or 2 blowjobs our entire relationship. She said she can't stand it, but it's nothing to do with my hygiene or anything. She bought some flavored lube stuff at a pure romance party specifically for giving head and she never used it once. I asked her about it and she said she did it in the past (very new into our relationship) because she wanted to make sure I knew she liked me. So I guess I learned that and now she never felt the need to do it again? I look forward to maybe…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 03:35 PM
1

Talk to a counselor/therapist, and keep going to the gym. I'm 30 but going through the same shit. I will say that at our check-in with the judge it was a big relief to me to hear that we all agree to the terms and have an agreement in place. No more unknowns, no more what ifs. That was big for me because she wanted to change the parenting time schedule after we agreed to it and signed it, so I don't know what to expect from her anymore. I joined a new gym last week because I had not been working…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 12:22 PM
4

I have a group of friends who my stbx has basically best friended their wives. I have been questioning their loyalty to me, but also feel like I could move forward from those friendships as I've found who my few very close friends are in this process. I don't know how much or little my stbx tells them about our relationship or where things stand, I personally have not shared anything with this group. So anything they've heard is not my side of the story. That being said, I feel like while moving…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 12:12 PM
3

"I can essentially do whatever I want whenever I want and I have my kids half the time" This is the mindset I have been telling myself to have, without feeling selfish about thinking about it this way. My divorce will be finalized very soon, all terms and conditions are agreed to.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 11:55 AM
5

Sounds like your girlfriend has no children of her own and can't relate to your feelings. If she does have kids of her own then I'd consider this a red flag to behave the way she is. Regardless there are several great responses already. You need to do you. If your girlfriend can't support your decision to go, or at least understand why it's actually not weird at all, I don't think things will last in that relationship. Just my opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 11:47 AM
2

Sorry to hear that you're going through it. Mine is just about wrapped up, she still lives here at home which makes it harder for me to move forward, especially since she also initiated. I deactivated my Facebook account, which I honestly haven't even missed once. It's not something I really used other than for messenger, which you can still used with a deactivated account. Maybe that would help you so you're not seeing those pictures of what he is doing? I don't know the story behind her guy fr…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 11:02 AM
1

Thanks. She's true to put me down about it saying I always get it my way. I'm not letting her manipulative tactics get to me anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 06:36 PM
1

We're past that point thankfully. We have a parenting time schedule agreed to. The whole judgment of divorce was written by my attorney and it has been signed by all parties. The child support amount we agreed to is a different number then the calculations, which actually favors me because I think I'd be paying more if it was off the book. Since it is a deviation from the calculated amount it has to be written into a separate child support order. I will definitely scrutinize the document with my…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 06:15 PM
1

Yeah and really all that's left to finalize is the child support agreement document which her attorney is creating because she is the plaintiff. I think he is dragging his feet on it since she doesn't have a closing date yet.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 05:43 PM
3

She put up all her Christmas decorations in the house last week and in my head I'm thinking why are you not focused on packing all your other shit
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 05:00 PM
6

Congratulations! I am in the same boat as you. She's been seeing her friends more recently that usual. It bothered me a bit because I had that thought in the back of my head that I really have no reason to trust where she says she's going or who she's with. I think I've detached from those thoughts and feelings and just look forward to her getting out of what will be my house. I have ideas of paint colors and furniture layouts that will completely change the space from how it's always been. Hope…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 04:04 PM
2

My stbx doing the same shit. I split our savings into two separate accounts. Started transferring from her account to the checking account for her spending, for her home inspection, appraisal, and money down on a new place. Told her I will be transferring more money for other recent credit card purchases. She tried telling me she didn't know I was actually dividing up the accounts already, I literally did it right in front of her face and she saw my phone on the counter as I talked through what …
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 03:06 PM
2

I can't wait to get to this point. For now she still lives here in the house which I'll be keeping and it's a mind fuck that is making it hard to move forward, but it's getting easier.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 01:03 PM
1

I was kind of in the same boat. At mediation she wanted me to have like 3 out of 14 nights. I obviously wasn't going to agree to that BS so I told the mediator no way in hell am I signing that. I came up with my own schedule that worked well for me. I wanted to settle outside of court, because I'm not trying to spend my savings on this divorce. I was able to get her to agree to my schedule, where I have 6 out of 14 and she has 8. Basically as close to 50/50 as I knew I could get with her, yet st…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 11:48 AM
1

More than I wanted of course. Id say somewhere around 6-7k in attorney fees for me and maybe 3-4k for hers.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 03:28 PM
1

I know it's not easy to drop your emotions for her, I just went through the same motions. But the reality of the situation is you need to mentally and emotionally detach from her. She's no longer your wife, hell you said she has a boyfriend already and it sounds like you're still in the divorce process? Women have this sense of entitlement and think they can use their emotions to get what they think the deserve. Don't feed into that BS, it sounds like you've worked hard and have put yourself and…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 10:36 AM
5

I discussed this with my benefits lady at work. She advised I set up a trust for the kids and then have the trust listed as all beneficiaries. Because if your kids are minors their legal guardian is who gets to handle whatever they are a beneficiary to and we all know that will be mishandled. Also if you do it this way and something happens to you, she can't get your social security money.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 10:52 AM
4

I was at the bar with my buddy the other night and straight up told him that. I was like "man I'm looking around in here and thinking to myself I don't even want to try dating someone, I literally don't want to go through all that again" And maybe that's just me at the point I'm at now, and maybe in time I'll meet someone. But I'm sure as hell not seeking anyone. I've never actually lived 100% on my own. Basically lived with my parents when we started dating, she had an apartment. I slowly start…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 11:08 AM
1

Congrats on that, I am keeping the house but have to buy her out.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 09:58 PM
2

I have a feeling she's going to go off the deep end once it's my time with the kids apart from her. She can barely leave them as it is. I will be going off the radar on social media as well because I don't want her to know anything about my new life. Maybe that sounds harsh but I think it sounds ideal
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 09:16 PM
2

Thanks, not actually my sock day, just getting very close. We have our agreement and it's just got to be signed by everyone. I think her attorney is dragging his feet because she hasn't closed on her new place yet.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 08:48 PM
1

Thanks, we talked today and I asked for $2k from our savings account before the rest is split so that I have a little extra to refurnish the house when she takes all her furniture. She reluctantly agreed to my terms. I had to at least try to tell myself I did, and it ended up working in my favor. I emailed my attorney the changes to make to the final Judgement of Divorce and I will print it and sign it on Monday.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 12:27 AM
1

I just talked to her and of course we went from having a fine day, went to breakfast with the kids and played all day, to immediately her getting frustrated that I want to try and negotiate again. She acts like she's the one who has bend over and took it in this divorce, I told her if I'm giving her 20k for the house, originally $11,500, bumped up to $15,000 by me, and then she wanted $20,000, then I would like 2k from the savings before it's split just to help me refurnish the house. She was re…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/22 07:28 PM
1

That's about where I'm at. I understand the fight from the others comments, but I've done the fighting and I want this to be done.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/22 07:09 PM
1

Yeah this feels very familiar to me. I think I am ready for this to be over with. I may counter back at like 17,500-18,000 meet in the middle. The thing is since I am paying her out entirely from my 401k, fortunately there's enough in there. I don't see that additional 5k effecting my current financial situation. Yes it sucks giving her more, but I can't use this money until I retire anyway. I told her that this money that is "mine" for retirement, I don't even have access to. So if she wants 5k…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/22 07:08 PM
1

I told her if she wants 5k more from my 401k essentially, which is money I don't readily have access to even though it's "mine". That I want 5k extra from the savings account (or even like 2k, just something) before it's split as I'll have to refurnish most of the home. She really didn't show much sympathy and told me all about the second hand stores around and how cheap I can get all that stuff...
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/22 07:04 PM
2

Well if we have the signed Judgement of Divorce going into court Tuesday the hope is the judge will expedite the process as our trial date is not until the end of January, and she still lives here which has been a mind fuck for me as most days feel so normal still and the only time we really argue is over the details of the divorce, but we co parent just fine. We've still gone and done things as a family, for the kids, but she seems so content doing things together still that I'm like questionin…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/22 11:27 AM
3

I'm about 5k deep so far but I've paid it off as I get invoiced Thing is I am paying her off with money from my 401k. So even if I give her 5k more, it's technically not even money I have access to myself
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/22 01:57 AM
2

We talked this morning and I got her onboard with my schedule. I would have 6/14 and her 8/14. I think it's ideal for everyone this way. I'm on track to make around 95k this year (just so happens to be my best financial year of my career so far). She makes like 30-32k. So I understand that my kids will need some help from me and I don't resent that. But at the same time paying 1k a month for that seems a bit outrageous to me. I am interested to know what my payments will end up being with this p…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 12:42 AM
1

That's what I am hoping to do
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 02:26 AM
1

Do you pay through friend of court or like personal checks to her
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 10:06 PM
1

Damn $23, I could only dream. Even at 50/50 custody I'd be paying around $450 a month. With the schedule my wife was trying to get away with in mediation id be on the hook for $931 a month. Although with the schedule I proposed it's the same days she originally offered, but with 2 additional overnights for me. So it's not some wild idea from me. I think my payment would still be 6-700 a month. But that can also be negotiated and I don't think it has to go based on the calculations if we can agre…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 01:55 PM
1

Congrats on getting through it. Hopefully it didn't cost you a shit ton to come to an agreement. My boys are 2 and 4, oldest starting preschool soon so I'm not quite there yet as far as extracurricular things go.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 01:19 PM
1

Where we are at now, after I was finally able to have a half decent talk with her and start reeling her in back to earth from where she was. I'd have Wednesday night, Thursday night every week. Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night on my weekend. That's actually 50/50 I'm pretty sure. Although she does not want them to spend Thursday night with me, go to her place Friday morning, then come back to me Friday at 5pm or whatever for the start of their weekend with me. Too much bouncing around …
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 12:44 PM
2

Yeah I'm not sure what the amount per month I'd be paying at 6/14, but I think we were at 4-5/14 during mediation and it was like 900 something a month for me.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 03:12 PM
1

I almost want to give her one more chance to try and settle this between the two of us because if the GAL gets involved its more expensive for both of us, and then we would have to make this whole process take even longer. If she gave me two more nights (I already would have the days with the schedule she proposed) I think I could live with have 6/14 and her having 8/14.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 11:09 PM
1

It's basically a third party that works with the court and they come to your house and examine the living situation, observe interactions and how things go on a day to day basis. Then they make a report and give it to the court. It kind of scares me because even though I know I'm a great father and I know how much I do with my kids I feel like no matter what there is a bias towards the mother and somehow they will sway in her favor and then instead of just me vs my wife trying to figure out pare…
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 11:55 AM
1

She thinks I'm the bad guy. She said she works all weekend this coming weekend and I made a comment on how we could have gone on family trips all year for the amount of money we just wasted (and have yet to waste) on attorney fees. I said maybe I'll take the boys somewhere then and she's like delusional about that. She gets so offended if I want to do something with them without her. I'm like why can't I take them to do something fun? They're my kids to. That's another big thing with her they ar…
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 09:36 AM
2

The mediator was like "I didn't think we'd get to an agreement today" and essentially because my wife and I were emotional she's like I'm not going to cram this down your throat and make you sign this today. I said I can't sign anything today and need time to process all of this. I don't care if they thought there was an agreement, nothing was signed, there is no agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 12:03 PM
6

The mediator also said the judge for our case is like the only one in this county who doesn't just start out with 50/50 custody.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 09:58 AM
1

She keeps telling me it's not about money to her, I don't believe that for a second. I understand I make more money and I am happy to help with support to make sure my kids are happy and healthy, but I also need to be able to survive and provide for them too in my own home. She accuses that she is their sole care provider. She's like who feeds them every day (I do help when I can, but I'm literally working so how can this even be an argument). Our oldest is 4 and feeds himself, but she always si…
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 09:55 AM
3

That's basically what she is trying to do to me. She had plans yesterday, so I took the boys to the park again because it's what they wanted to do. We had lunch at home on the patio and I laid them both down for their naps and she didn't get home until just before they woke up from their nap. Yet the times I've said that Im going to do something with them, while she had something else to do that day, she immediately guilt trips me. "I would never do something fun like that with them and not incl…
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 09:46 AM
3

The thing that pisses me off is my attorney originally said this mediator is good in cases like this. Then after she talked with my wife first she realized this is not going to be an easy mediation. She basically rolled her eyes at my attorney about my wife.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 09:43 AM
3

I have documented day to day activities, the things we have still been doing as a family, I brought 700 pictures to meditation. Screenshots of conversations with my wife, her social media posts that completely contradict how awful she says things are at home. The mediator looked at my binder on the table and said I don't need to see that, I'm not a judge. My wife has a very traumatic past and when she was 18 she basically told her parents get fucked I'm an adult now, bye. I still to this day do …
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 09:42 AM
1

Things at home are oddly calm. We don't fight, she talked to me the same day after mediation as if nothing just happened. We were still sleeping in the same bed all this time but after mediation I really don't even want to look at her. I slept on the couch last night.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 09:38 AM
3

2 and 4
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 09:35 AM
1

We had mediation Thursday and it was fucked. I didn't sign or agree to anything. She wanted me to see the kids like 2 overnights every 14 days. It's just evil. She said she didn't want my 401k. The mediator told her "you need to take that money". They want to use Zillow as a home appraisal saying my real home appraisal was too low and Zillow is like 100k higher. This whole situation is so fucked.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 05:59 PM
2

Sounds like you're getting hosed... I paid my $3k retainer fee a month ago and I've been getting statements from them, my balance is still around $1800.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 01:52 PM
1

The judge told us the same thing based on his experience that we need to not be living together
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 06:00 PM
1

That's the thing her lawyer was literally being a crybaby saying how awful things are at home, but at the same time saying how she cant move out given her current financial situation. That's really not my problem, I helped her update her resume to apply for these work from home positions with solid pay. She never pursued them and I think it all goes back to control. If she is not at her current job in her manager roll, she'll be working for someone else and she won't be in control
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 04:41 PM
1

I don't know to be honest. I can't tell if she's acting or what, but either way her behavior contradicts what her attorney said to the judge. Things seem all fine and dandy and then I try talking to her and then it's like a switch flips and she's the woman who wants to divorce me again.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 11:43 AM
2

Yeah 100% feels like whatever I do will never be enough. I really feel like all of this stems from her own personal unhappiness and I can do things that would make a happy person happy and appreciative, but I know that her feeling in that regard is not my choice it's hers. I can't choose happiness for her.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 11:42 AM
1

Don't really have a spot in the house for that. Though if I go to bed first she still comes to bed and sleeps next to me. kind of cracks me up I found her rings that she hasn't worn basically all year in a bathroom drawer. I put them in their ring box in the gun safe because I obviously would prefer we keep our expensive jewelry locked up. I had to get a document out of there for my attorney and the box was gone. But yes emotionally I'm very confused because when things are good I almost forget …
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 11:31 AM
2

Yeah it is so bizarre and I know friends and family are also like wtf
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 10:06 AM
1

Interesting, I have never had the thought cross my mind to ever cheat on her, but I am a guy and I look at other women in the seemingly natural way that we do. I feel like I am much more confident now than I ever was in my dating past. As selfish as this thought sounds in my head, I almost feel like I "made it" like I have a family I did that part of life and now with this divorce it's almost like I'm getting the chance to have fun on my own in a sense? I don't feel like I have anything to lose …
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 01:45 AM
1

We did marriage counseling for 6 months or so. I know I made a lot of changes to improve myself. I don't know that she truly made changes and part of me thinks she had her mind made up before we even started. I recognized a lot of what she brought up and changed it. I'm a human and it took us time to get to where we are, I think it's understandable that it will take time to get to where we want to be. I wasn't seeing a change in her happiness with the changes I made. I had stopped bringing up se…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 10:43 PM
1

Gotcha, well I'm only 29 so my kids are young, but so am I. I'm pretty much in my career job that I went to school for and I have a lot going for me. I guess in some ways it feels like my wife's unhappiness is also holding me back from truly being happy. As much as this all really seems to suck now, I think I am going to grow a lot in time and learn a lot about myself which I may never have the opportunity to do if we don't split.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 09:43 PM
1

What amount of custody do you have? Is your GF around your kids while you have them?
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 09:10 PM
2

She told me this didn't have to be expensive and then the first thing she did was get an attorney and try telling me I could use the same lawfirm as her. I'm not an idiot and immediately lawyered up on my own. And just as I told her this shit has been expensive but it's all been charged to the same joint credit card and I have no plans to pay off the attorney fees from either side until everything is settled and that debt gets split. Had I took her awful advice and used her attorney I would have…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 08:00 PM
1

Dude you hit the nail on the head. She left for work saying how on her lunch break she would vacuum, clean the bathrooms, etc. She works about a mile from home and has a 30-45min break. I work from home since covid and had a slow morning. I did those things and then did a load of laundry, and a few other things. The house was nice and tidy when she gets home. What did she say? Thanks, but I don't need you to be a house wife.... Yet when I point out the things I do in her eyes she thinks I'm like…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 07:59 PM
2

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 06:33 PM
1

I appreciate your response. It truly feels like everything is a control thing for her and the more I look for it the more I see it. She wants sole custody of the kids because she's a control freak. She sticks with her job that she complains about, when I've told her to quit, she's looked into work from home opportunities. Thing is she is the boss/manager where she is and everyone works for her, she doesn't want to work for someone. Hell I made pancakes with my boys the other week for breakfast a…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 06:24 PM
1

$1400 a month? Does she have full custody?
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/22 07:59 PM
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