| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | Almost made it 1 year in post-divorce relationshipGatekeeper is my next book! I already have kids and don't need a new baby mama. I know I could just date around but I naturally lean towards having one partner with a deep connection. Which I thought she provided. Our lifestyle was 100% aligned. But I just couldn't handle her sharp tone. I don't know if any other man could. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/01/25 07:45 PM |
| 2 | Almost made it 1 year in post-divorce relationshipReally good point. Everyone said it would only get worse after marriage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/01/25 03:47 PM |
| 2 | Almost made it 1 year in post-divorce relationshipYep first 6 months, multiple times a day is right. Is this a pattern with a certain kind of girl? I'm such a noob to the dating world. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/25 02:58 AM |
| 3 | Almost made it 1 year in post-divorce relationshipShe said her temper is her biggest insecurity. And she's in therapy for it. Says she's working on it. The results are still a consistent amount of snapping still though with an apology after. She just cannot control it for some reason. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/01/25 10:53 PM |
| 6 | How long have you guys stayed single?Single for 5 months. Then found a girl who ticked all the boxes. Our mutual attraction is extremely strong. Did not see this coming. I was prepared to be alone for years. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/03/24 10:31 PM |
| 1 | Where to bust?😭 | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/02/24 09:35 PM |
| 5 | What do you do with yourself?Dating is kinda fun and kinda sucks. Met a girl I really liked and that uplifted me this last week. But then reality hit and she started reading about dating a guy with kids and now she's cooling the jets a bit. I don't have any good advice. It's rough out here. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/01/24 04:41 AM |
| 1 | Last Longer😂😂😂😂 | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/01/24 05:43 PM |
| 2 | Last LongerWhich supplements? | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/01/24 02:32 AM |
| 1 | Last Longer😂 | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/01/24 02:32 AM |
| 1 | Betrayed But Missing the OldAgree it's haunting. I see you look the same, but how you talk to me, treat me and care about me have become worse than a stranger or roommate. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/23 11:09 PM |
| 2 | Betrayed But Missing the OldThanks for the thoughtful response | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/23 07:30 PM |
| 8 | Does anyone miss being loved?This is one of my biggest fears. And already feeling it. Only two months since separation. Wondering how long it will be if ever that I'll feel a woman's genuine love. I've been playing more golf, traveling, seeing friends and working out. And those are fine. But something still feels missing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/23 11:15 AM |
| 1 | I Feel RobbedShit, I'm telling my friends now we are entering serious relationships | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/23 03:05 AM |
| 1 | I Feel RobbedDoing ALL those things you mentioned at the end. Thanks bro | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/23 01:38 PM |
| 1 | I Feel RobbedSorry you're still feeling it two years later bro | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/23 01:37 PM |
| 1 | I Feel RobbedThanks bro 💪🏼 | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/23 01:35 PM |
| 1 | I Feel RobbedI've actually been asking myself what to make of my 40-60 phase. 0-20 was growing up for me. 20-40 was married life. Any advice? | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/23 01:19 PM |
| 8 | I Feel RobbedNo. I think she had a MLC and opened herself up to someone in an inappropriate way and then let it all blow up. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/23 02:09 AM |
| 11 | I Feel RobbedYep her parents and her best friends are here. I have a few friends but it’s not my city. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/23 01:13 AM |
| 1 | Separation RecommendationsI actually bought this book a few weeks ago. Sent a touching passage to my stbx. And she responded "please stop sharing this stuff with me. It's also bad for kids who see a toxic marriage" (something we didn't have but how she rewrites our past) | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/23 11:43 PM |
| 1 | Separation RecommendationsGot preferred rate at Wells in 2021 | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/23 08:46 PM |
| 2 | Separation RecommendationsAwesome response thanks to you and everyone else in here | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/23 06:07 AM |
| 1 | Separation RecommendationsShe can't afford to buy me out either | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/11/23 07:01 PM |
| 2 | Separation RecommendationsCalifornia. Both on title. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/11/23 06:16 PM |
| 8 | I sat on a bench for 7 hoursI feel you. Finding it super hard to be motivated and focused on work. Which is not good because the job is more important then ever now that I'm single income. I'm also finding it hard to not just keep thinking and thinking about why someone could make such a selfish destructive decision. Why they couldn't sacrifice more for the family unit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/11/23 06:36 AM |
| 2 | First Split HolidayExactly | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/23 07:21 PM |
| 1 | How Long Did it Take?I have another post about telling her family. 90% of the advice was to wait til the divorce is finalized. Thoughts? | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/11/23 08:40 PM |
| 6 | Anybody else having first year post divorce seasonal depression? What can be done about it?I've seen multiple comments about attorneys suggesting no companionship. What's the rationale? Especially when the other side is actively in an affair. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/11/23 08:15 AM |
| 2 | SenselessI consider it the most selfish and destructive act I've ever seen. 20 years together. Shared memories. Blended families that get along. A family life we enjoyed. One layoff and midlife crisis later, and it's destroyed so she can chase her thirst for attention from someone 14 years younger. Pathetic af. And even with all the anger I have towards her, I think my subconscious mind still can't fully let go as it still believes I'm gonna have the old family life I had. Also sad. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/11/23 09:31 PM |
| 1 | Any Successful Reconciliation Stories?Good advice | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/11/23 06:31 PM |
| 1 | What is your biggest regret?Better to sell after divorce?? | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/11/23 05:34 PM |
| 2 | Re-entering Dating SceneCoed sports is a great idea! | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/11/23 04:59 PM |
| 61 | I still miss her...No one tells you when you're 20 the danger of putting your heart in a woman's hands. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/11/23 12:46 AM |
| 4 | Marriage counseling2 years of marriage counseling and we are headed towards divorce. Useless unless you're actually developing an action plan for change. If it's just to talk about feelings, it will go nowhere. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/11/23 09:25 PM |
| 1 | F Her MentalityFuck I keep consistently hearing 2-3 years to manage through it 😬 | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/23 08:45 PM |
| 4 | F Her MentalityTwice is tough. Sorry to hear that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/23 04:53 AM |
| 4 | F Her MentalityHelpful to know that’s the definition of grief | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/23 01:08 AM |
| 3 | HobbiesGolf is life | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/11/23 01:30 AM |
| 9 | *Who* are these men that go through divorce once and then *get married again,* and WTF are they thinking??Just hit my 20 year... And my wife then cheated. Checks out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/11/23 11:45 PM |
| 2 | I guess it's about to be over.Great point about young crushes. Could not be more indifferent to them. Great framing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/11/23 05:57 AM |
| 5 | I guess it's about to be over.Walk away wives regret it later when they realize what they've lost? Or is their story so strong that it wasn't good that they don't look back? | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/11/23 12:47 AM |
| 2 | Current situation and social mediaWise words | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/23 09:17 PM |
| 3 | Current situation and social mediaFirst 5 bullets identical to my situation. Turns out there is a side person involved. Sorry to say. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/23 09:12 PM |
| 1 | What Did You Tell Mutual Friends?Yeah that's short and to the point and understandable, thanks | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/23 12:44 PM |
| 1 | Confront Infidelity Immediately?Yeah I have my proof | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/11/23 10:01 AM |
| 4 | Confront Infidelity Immediately?She's a narc. Would absolutely destroy her reputation and self image. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/10/23 11:03 PM |
| 7 | Confront Infidelity Immediately?Laid off earlier in year but close to getting a new job. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/10/23 10:28 PM |
| 2 | Tell Her Family?Starting to feel that deep peace in my belly as the weeks go on. Especially when I'm out doing what I like with no expectation that I be home by any time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/10/23 06:23 PM |
| 1 | Friends After Betrayal?Spot on for the narccisist who projects perfection and kindness | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/23 05:46 PM |
| 1 | The Coldness AfterGreat explanation | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/23 01:05 PM |
| 2 | She'll Snap Out of This Right?"I want to be alone so I can find peace and harmony and to figure myself out" me: "we don't need to permanently break up for you to find yourself!" | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/23 12:57 PM |
| 2 | She'll Snap Out of This Right?Well said, I appreciate the thoughtful answers and I will think about them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/23 09:14 PM |
| 2 | She'll Snap Out of This Right?How did you find happiness after the 21 years of best friend companionship? | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/23 03:07 PM |
| 8 | She'll Snap Out of This Right?Sounds like a mirror to mine. "remember what you did in 2011. Remember when you did this in 2013" it's like yes, I was different then and I also can't change the past... And yes, I'm getting gaslight about how I've been treating her poorly for 20 years. It's a joke. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/23 03:05 PM |
| 8 | She'll Snap Out of This Right?Best explanation I've seen. Thanks. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/23 02:33 PM |
| 2 | Loss of Shared Investment in KidsHow to overcome this feeling? That you're kinda raising them alone? Without that partner that's equally jointly invested (even though they are separately)? | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/23 08:35 AM |
| 3 | Tell Her Family?What are your keys to becoming indifferent? She was my person for 20 years. And we have two kids so it's hard to just remove her from my waking mind unfortunately. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/23 08:28 AM |
| 1 | Tell Her Family?Thanks for sharing this. I've dropped seeds to mutual friends. But haven't to her family yet. The friends all said they suspected there might be someone else given how determined she is to not try to see if it can be fixed. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/23 08:26 AM |
| 1 | Update: Separation UltimatumGolfing whenever I want is one of the few things I'm looking forward to | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/23 08:21 AM |
| 2 | Tell Her Family?You're probably right. I've always been a truth and fairness values kind of person. Is that not worth it here? I'm not even looking to get her family on my side. Just to have them understand the full picture. They've known me 20 years, known that I'm a good person who is imperfect. For their daughter to just walk away solely based on these "unhappy" feelings that she shared with no one the whole time seems farfetched. Her heart moving onto someone else (which prevents her from trying again to sa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/23 08:15 AM |
| 1 | Tell Her Family?Marriage was first, then trainer. In couples for 2 years. Her idea to help us. But then we only ever talked about surface level fights. She never consistently brought up whatever deep feelings she had that were buried. So part of it is on her for being too insecure and weak to speak her truth. And to slip for someone else's attention when she wasn't feeling so good about us. Part of it is on me for not better listening and probing her truest feelings. I'm also not a mind reader though. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/23 08:11 AM |
| 1 | Tell Her Family?Overly kind to a person that broke vows and betrayed? | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/23 03:02 AM |
| 1 | I want to do a buy-out, ex doesn't agree, what nowDo you have to refinance when you buy out ex to get their name off the mortgage? Or is there a way to keep the mortgage the same? We have a 2.5% rate I don't want to lose. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/10/23 09:30 AM |
| 16 | Tell Her Family?Yeah playing nice til it's finalized is what crossed my mind. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/10/23 09:22 AM |
| 3 | The Coldness AfterDefinitely getting the eat pray love bullshit treatment | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/10/23 02:06 AM |
| 2 | The Coldness AfterNo I won't | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/10/23 05:36 PM |
| 6 | The Coldness AfterI tell everyone I can't believe this is my life right now. It's surreal. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/10/23 05:34 PM |
| 3 | The Coldness AfterMy wife also said let's see til December. Wild. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/10/23 05:34 PM |
| 3 | The Coldness AfterWhat's 304 phase | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/10/23 04:10 PM |
| 3 | The Coldness AfterYeah I told some mutual friends my side first. She was "hurt" because she thought we would agree when to tell them first. 🙄 | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/10/23 08:57 AM |
| 2 | The Coldness AfterHow do we know if it's a light switch effect or a narcissist discard? | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/10/23 08:56 AM |
| 13 | The Coldness AfterSaw how she acted with her trainer | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/10/23 01:56 AM |
| 5 | The Coldness AfterYeah I think that happened. Don't hear too much about men holding their feelings in and crying themselves to sleep. Usually just hear it about women. I guess they would argue we didn't listen when they brought it up. I'd argue they didn't articulate clearly and consistently. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/10/23 12:38 AM |
| 9 | The Coldness AfterThis completely resonates. I do believe she lined someone up and is treating them that way now | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/23 11:54 PM |
| 10 | The Coldness AfterThanks for sharing. Yeah I didn't even think about "safety" until the last 6 weeks. That's on me. But my wife was also a vague and inconsistent communicator of her deepest feelings. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/23 11:53 PM |
| 12 | The Coldness AfterTips on protecting money? Also link about lights off effect? | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/23 11:25 PM |
| 23 | The Coldness AfterYep she definitely has a man on her mind I know. Selfish. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/23 11:22 PM |
| 12 | The Coldness AfterYeah tantrum last week when she found out I was sharing my side of the story to mutual friends first. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/23 11:21 PM |
| 8 | The Coldness AfterAgreed she's blowing up our family for some stupid reasons. You can work on being yourself and having more freedom without nuking this family unit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/23 11:20 PM |
| 8 | The Coldness AfterI've been getting the "proud of you" and "happy for you" bullshit too | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/23 11:19 PM |
| 2 | Abandoned and AngryI got the narccisist discard as well. It's unreal. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/23 03:32 PM |
| 1 | Does it still just randomly hit you?20 years together with two kids. She seems basically done with me. Only wants to focus on herself. 1 week into the separation. I feel like my chest is going to explode. Averaged 2 hours of sleep a night the last week. This is surreal and I cannot believe it's happening. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/09/23 06:13 AM |
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter