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View 28 posts and 136 comments by dranic on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
125

dranic/r/Divorce_Men16/09/22 12:54 AM
55

dranic/r/Divorce_Men06/09/22 11:32 PM
26

dranic/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 02:17 AM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men08/07/21 05:37 PM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men05/06/21 03:09 AM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men12/08/22 12:44 AM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men01/06/21 07:25 PM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men14/12/21 02:47 AM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men01/02/22 02:51 PM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 03:51 AM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 03:08 AM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 03:59 AM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 01:46 AM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men01/12/21 03:56 AM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men21/12/21 03:49 AM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men13/06/21 06:50 AM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men03/06/22 08:13 PM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 09:23 PM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men28/05/21 08:40 PM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men11/06/21 09:34 PM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men09/06/21 01:56 PM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men31/05/21 02:58 AM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men13/11/21 05:27 AM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 02:56 AM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men27/05/21 01:25 AM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men02/01/22 05:23 AM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men03/06/21 03:14 AM
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dranic/r/Divorce_Men31/07/22 11:39 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

Well, the contract you sign when you get married is a paragraph, the one you sign in divorce is 40 pages. It's a lack of education
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 07:00 PM
1

I'm pretty sure there hasn't been a Nicole in existence that wasn't problematic. Same with Jennifer's, and Amanda's
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 01:08 AM
2

There's a ton of value there, and never forget it. I feel like kids feed on the energy they're presented with. There's a reason Freud did a lot of drugs, but notice it's never because dad was there.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 12:30 AM
1

Sorry brother, I hear you. I thought the same, but was advised otherwise and stayed in the house until there was an agreement. Police called, the works. The system won't allow for anything less than war. Family court specifically exists, and profits heavily from continued conflict. The rest of the MRA stuff is bullshit, outright. But that piece needs to change
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 12:23 AM
2

You'll have to move to a Scandinavian country for that. Leveraging children for cash is a 62 billion dollar industry in the US.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 12:29 AM
2

She was raising the kid while she got her PhD, I had to deploy to maintain our lifestyle, granted, hindsight being 20 20, I shouldn't have. Her loans got tied up in a lawsuit. I went to South America at the beginning of the pandemic, She started stashing cash, got her PhD, got a job making commensurate salary, and dropped me within a month of when I got home. We negotiated a settlement agreement, my state requires a year separation prior to divorce. Since I had been deployed so much, I was told …
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/22 03:43 PM
14

The second I ask for that, protracted custody battle.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/22 12:09 AM
1

It's not misunderstood or unstudied. Don't take this as a bitterness, my preference has always been to be married. Nuclear families are the backbone of human evolution and society. This happened in first wave feminism during the early 70s with no fault divorce laws, which were righteous at the time. The fallout was decades of rampant divorce and poverty, generations of young men raised exclusively by women, with the social dynamics that come with it. 'No good men, toxic masculinity, men are payc…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 10:34 PM
2

Mine does this, I just say thanks and throw it in the garbage on my way home. But, she's probably just being nice. Mine is in the middle of convincing all of our mutual friends to divorce one another, and it's working. My apartment has become a landing pad for upper class white collar divorcing men. I'm sure there a prince charming out there for her, I hope she finds it for your sake. But there's a 70% chance she'll divorce him too. This is the world we live in now
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 12:27 AM
7

I just don't understand still, I take responsibility for working too much and burn out cycles, but I don't know how to operate differently. Shit loads of self reflection and counseling, but I can't change my nature.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/22 02:21 AM
5

There will be no trial for my divorce, and every parameter of it has been negotiated and agreed upon. After 2 years, I had a bit of a fit and my attorney told me she thinks I had an 'unreasonable' idea how how long this process takes. If 2 years is unreasonable, I don't know what's reasonable. Stay salty
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/22 03:54 AM
2

Honestly, hopefully she finds that prince charming in his 40s that wants to take on a terminal child, makes a great salary, and loves her better than I could. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 01:26 AM
1

Wow man, so what's the disconnect? Why not just be married if thats the situation? I'm not judging, just never heard of that kind of thing. And ya, I'll go and try to be mature about it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 12:48 AM
2

I'm sorry man, my son has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, so in the same camp as SMA. He gets it, and is well adapted at this point. It's just impossible for me to separate, and feel a duty to him to be on call, even if it's vicariously through her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 12:24 AM
2

We act as though we're a married couple, but we have double the expenses and less time, and no intimacy (no change there). It's causing complications in finding another partner. I think I'm mature enough to get to that space, but she seems really comfortable right out the gate. I haven't processed it, but sharing a terminal child adds a level of complexity that was the source of my resentment to begin with. I'm very comfortable with her, but it's hard for me at this point to tell her no, because…
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 12:19 AM
2

Is that the space I should get to? I just don't want the kid to lose a moment, he's terminal
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 12:09 AM
3

I suppose so, it just seems brazen to ask when the ink is barely dry, and I seem to be relied upon for the things I always provided. Like all the good things she enjoyed shouldn't have to go away, as long as I go away. So there's some resentment there on my part
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 12:08 AM
2

Sure, I will probably do that. But is she really that comfortable that she's OK with it? Just seems odd, given how the last 2 years of conflict have gone
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/22 11:51 PM
3

I know it feels like it, but it's really great on the other side of it. Long road to get there. Excercise, eat well, find a hobby, take a course, read books. There's freedom there, you get to focus entirely on yourself, which isn't something you can do in a marriage. Don't date right away, it's pretty brutal and you have the emotional baggage of American Airlines. You'll get there man
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/22 11:53 PM
2

If low scores win, I have 50/50 and I pay 87 dollars a month in child support. Luckily, she played the long game and let me support her while she got her PhD, then threw in the towel as soon as she got a job that had commensurate pay to mine. Took 2 years, and around 80k in attorney fees, but I can't complain.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/22 02:43 PM
1

It doesn't really matter what's in those accounts, if it goes to court you'll need to go through a financial disclosure and it's all going to get split 50 50, most likely. Don't read the horror stories, for the most part, courts are a lot better than they used to be regarding marital assets. That being said, depending where you are, custody can still be a bit murky, especially with a child so young. So be prepared for that
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 12:36 AM
1

No, red pill and MGTOW is not dialogue, I find those followings to be emotional immaturity and unproductive
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/22 02:44 AM
2

Probably different for everybody, I don't really have that, but I think it's because I just decided to devote my time to getting my feet on stable ground and building some confidence. I feel like going down that road (for me) after my experience probably makes me more easy to prey on than I'd like to admit. It's kind of nice to not have to care about a relationship, besides, jerking off seems just fine to me for a bit. But do what you need to so man, I don't personally thinks it's abnormal at al…
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/22 02:46 AM
1

Look.. everyone in a marriage deserves to have their needs met. If you're not ok with her not working, you should be able to address that it's important to you, and then explain your reasons. You don't have kids, good. That means she's free to pursue a career that will better accommodate them I and when you choose to do so. This seems like a communication issue. You don't get to be a stay at home mom when there are no children, and youre capable and educated. That's literally just being parasiti…
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 04:10 AM
2

Can't tell if that's cynical or not, either way. Kudos lol
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 05:23 AM
1

I'm saying if it never sees a court, it's preferable that they just agree on terms and file the documents themselves without the need of the court
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/22 01:23 AM
3

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but my understanding of the don't move out rule mostly only applies for maintaining parenting rights
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 09:22 PM
3

I think the advice is misleading. Generally good advice to not leave, but the reason is because if you leave without a parenting plan and the kids are at the house, your ex is entirely in control of when you see them or not. This establishes a precedent that is viewed by the courts as abandonment. IE if you wanted your kids so bad, why you let her control when you see them. Don't overthink the advice, the idea is to make sure that you're spending as much time with your kids as you intend to ask …
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 06:20 PM
1

Of course you don't need lawyers, in fact that's preferable to everyone including the courts. You can just have a paralegal draft it up if you agree on everything, you'll be done in a couple days
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 05:46 PM
6

No I wouldn't pour alcohol on it; it's never worked before.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 04:46 AM
1

Let's hope so. It's delicate, but she was discussing changes to some of the financial stuff I countered with, I said no and she said 'fine but if I do this I'm filing in March' I said great. Have your date. It all rides on her conversation with her attorney tomorrow. She can easily be talked into or out of it. But I did tell her that if we do this, statistically in 2022, 92% of fathers that fight for custody, get joint physical, and more often than not, it's 50 50.. at least here. So I left her …
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 02:52 AM
1

It's true, and obvious. Wife seems to be considering signing as of yesterday, but all it would take is her sttorney saying don't do it. That's what makes me anxious
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 01:01 AM
18

I'd like more children, but as an aggregate with second marriage divorce statistics my chances of another protracted custody battle are too high to be worth the risk
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 01:34 PM
1

I appreciate it. No, we're well beyond that. About 50k in or so with mediation, lawyers, useless negotiations, and I haven't even moved out yet, and we haven't even set a separation date
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 02:56 AM
2

I suppose in hindsight, as with anything. I did my share of the damage, but my failure was not recognizing it wasn't going to be good enough no matter what I did. She seems to be a generally unhappy and unbalanced person. It's always been that way, and I knew, it was just easier to manage while married, but a few moments stick out.. I wrecked my motorcycle about 5 years ago, and hobbled it and myself back to the house. I came inside and told her what happened, and her immediate response was 'how…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 02:47 AM
1

Meh, maybe. I've been living there and the apartment has been vacant
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/22 11:10 PM
1

For some reason I haven't had any interest in music, and mostly listen to podcasts and audio books. I think it's just the isolation of living with my wife while we wait for our separation date to lapse and we can go to trial. We don't talk to eachother, and I think I just crave conversation that doesn't revolve around all this senseless waste
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/22 04:57 AM
3

They're just trying to get a disclosure together; effectively a snapshot of the marital holdings and debts as of a certain date (usually the date of separation). Its simply to put it in a spreadsheet and subtract the total debt from the total assets to see what's left over to split.. If the credit card has a 0 balance, or is closed. Nobody is interested
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/22 04:20 AM
3

Can't tell you how it will affect custody decisions, but it's certainly a bad look for her, and should be considered by a reasonable judge (ie if she's withholding now, awarding more than he/she would to guarantee you the time). At a certain point you'll want to just roll the dice with your attorney. Sounds like any temporary order is going ro be better than your current situation anyways. Again, not a lawyer.. but if I hadn't seen my child for 2 months I damn sure wouldn't be polite about it. C…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/22 02:25 AM
10

The booze isn't going to help for sure; just reading what I can interpret. The introspection is good, and glad you may have identified some of the core issues for you, but you have to change the dynamic. Self pity is only going to sink you further. Try to just focus on yourself. Finish the shit you need to, and then do what you like doing. If it's meant to be, she'll take the path with you. If it's not, find someone that is a partner in your journey. But you gotta snap out of it
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/22 02:18 AM
1

I'm not digging at the guy, but I'm generally skeptical when someone says they don't have time. This is probably as easy to resolve as setting a time, possibly after the kiddos go to sleep to tackle the cleaning together. As soon as you start telling someone it's solely their job because of X.. you lost
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 01:39 PM
4

I thought divorce might happen, I didn't think it would be this messy. She's very focused on. Money, like to an obsessive level - so I figured the idea of walking away from a quarter million dollars in exchange for a protracted custody battle would have been off the table
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 12:49 PM
6

I doubt it. Our incomes are almost the same
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 12:47 PM
5

That's very well put, and exactly what's happening here. My struggle has been trying to accept that my life, child, finances, and future is entirely in the hands of my entitled wife, attorneys, and the family court. I just have to let them drive the train off the cliff and make the best decisions I can along the way. It's unbearable, because I told her when this started, and several times along the way that this is going ro cost everything. She doesn't care, I'm shouting into the void.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 12:46 PM
6

That's the thing, she isn't a stay at home, we make about the same
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 11:37 AM
9

It's frustrating because she honestly just doesn't know the cost of this. Financially, emotionally, etc. When I tried to tell her the house would have to be sold, and my son's medical funds, she took it as a threat, rather than a warning. Those are our only liquid assets. She's still making remodeling plans for the house, and going about business as usual without a care in the world, while she sets the world on fire around her. Completely oblivious. I stopped trying to put out the fire.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 05:51 AM
7

She just doesn't prioritize. She asked for the divorce, having no idea what divorce looked like. So she takes it in reality bytes that cause unpredictable behavior. Every time she hears something new that everyone else in the loop is well aware of, she loses her shit and asks why that's allowed to happen. Then she panics and tries to find a loophole, when she doesn't find one, she counters with something way off
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 03:46 AM
5

Not sure I can do anything- she won't speak to me about anything and she's impossible to read. She seems to be in a decent mood. I can't imagine it's because she's ecstatic about me moving back in? She's also still playing super mom, where she literally like sprints to give our kid his medicine to make sure she can give herself a gold star. So who knows
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 03:43 AM
3

I don't think so. It wasn't left entirely closed, it's the fact that they threatened to take me to court and attempt to set our separation date as March. They can only do so if I have a separate address, and I've never lived st the apartment I rented anyways because custody fell through. So it seemed like an intentional delay when her sttorney said it would be another week to draft a counter. All of the counters I've gotten have been nowhere near, thus far. If I offer 50 50, they counter with ev…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 03:39 AM
2

Do you have temporary orders in place for the child? Prioritize. Know where you won't flex, and stick hard. Flex like hell on everything else, but make sure she thinks it's eating you up. Divorcing women don't typically know what they want, except everything. Remember, in her mind, everything belongs to her, 100%. Anything you get is because she's allowing you to have her stuff. On top of graciously allowing you to have what's yours, they also want to inflict the maximum amount of pain. So make …
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 02:27 AM
1

This seems to be happening more often; my wife hasn't said anything, but I've suspected she's a lesbian. She found a new friend when I was in south America on business, and when I got back she told me she provides emotionally for her in ways I never could, attends her children's sport events, lavished her with gifts, etc. As of a couple months ago, her attorney advised her to distance herself while we get divorces. Guessing that's not because she's a great character witness, and there might be s…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/22 04:54 AM
1

I think it's because of where we are in the process. There are no courts or court orders in place, so it's kind of the wild west. We're still just separated in the same home, and wouldn't even be able to get a court date to establish an order u til later this year
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 02:08 PM
1

This was with my attorney present
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 03:19 AM
5

It's because it isn't actually about video games and discipline. The real reason, as I've been told on numerous occasions, is 'I don't deserve it.' It's simply about my not getting anything I want, and the harder I stick, the more angry and resentful she gets, and the more she wants to take me to court. It's seeing red to the extreme, she can't de-escalate. When the fog clears and we're broke, she'll regret it. Unfortunately it seems like I can't do anything but let her drive this off a cliff in…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 02:35 AM
1

I guess I don't know, my wife spoke very little except to cheer on her sttorney and throw out a few jabs
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 02:29 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/sbwvzw/settlement_meeting_results_no_good/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 11:53 PM
2

No, her attorney placates it. That's the real issue. Well end up in court because her attorney is pushing her hard in that direction
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 11:05 PM
1

Ha, no. I rented it and signed a 12 month lease. I'd be breaking my lease, and pay the penalties for doing so. But they have a waiting list so it would rent immediately
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 12:33 PM
4

But based on an email between them they're "on the same page," so maybe they do want this settled
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 05:08 AM
4

Mediation failed.. this is simply a last ditch effort between attorneys before court
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 05:07 AM
5

I think the problem is my gut already tells me she isn't going to allow this to end, and this meeting is simply another 2000 dollar stage for her to spew her vitriol on our road to court. I don't even know the point, my attorney called the meeting, but I've made very clear I'm not conceding on custody, and she apparently feels the same. Even though she's waffled on it more than a handful of times. Even if we did get to 50 50 again, I don't have any faith that she qouldnt change her mind again at…
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 04:27 AM
6

I wasn't rude about it, my typical response a few months ago was just, 'sounds like you should find a man.' So I'm surprised she asked
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 04:08 AM
2

Unfortunately, regardless of the geographic location and laws, self entitlement is universal.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 04:53 AM
1

Sorry to hear; seems like such a common story. It feels so disgusting. You know in Scandinavian countries, custody is 50 50 barring extreme circumstances. Child support is standardized across the board, there is no spousal support, and marital assets are split 50 50 no questions asked. There is no family court, let alone a 60 billion dollar industry built around it. Arbitration definitely sounds like a better route. I definitely understand opting for court day 1 in hindsight. It's just one of th…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 03:27 AM
3

Thanks, I appreciate it. The problem is it's not her trying to manipulate. It's an accountability issue. She can spend all the money without blinking because at the end of the day, she can just say it's because I made her do it. We're going to be broke, while she fights to limit my time with our dying child. Simply because 'I don't deserve him.' Most days I just don't feel anything at all anymore. I just work and write blank checks, I barely eat. It's literally watching the last 15 years of work…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 02:31 AM
1

My rating isn't as high, but I can tell you how it shook out. It was counted as income only in terms of child support calculations. Not alimony, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 02:11 AM
1

I don't think anyone regardless of circumstances should keep the house. Liquidate everything. It's cleaner, and those houses have ghosts after divorce
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 02:51 AM
6

I'd say (bear in mind there's a confirmation bias on this sub). If it's so terrible for you, consider your worst case scenario / scorched earth. Average of 70k total in legal fees, while she attempts to remove time from you with your children and/or leverages the children for a better financial outcome (of which, may actually cost more than if she had just settled in the first place), commonplace emotional abuse, parental alienation, false domestic violence charges. The list is extensive. All of…
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/22 02:35 AM
1

Effectively just months worth of journaling where I've been doing the lions share of the parenting. We weren't really presenting anything, more just well. You can go to court with that, but it's not going to work and you still have to pay to play - so if you eat to commit 50k to make that case, well see you there. The original settlement was offered with an expiration where it will be reduced by a substantial amount.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 12:38 PM
1

Agreed, but it was actually presented as an argument. Is it actually a viable argument in court? Seems pretty thin, but nothing about this process has made sense to me so far.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/22 12:24 AM
1

Thanks for the response; that's exactly how it went for me. The police said we're married and it's my house so there's nothing they can do about it. And no, you're right. She wasn't very supportive - she wanted me to get help, but only because of how it was affecting her. Depression was something I was doing to her, and I was told so. My attorney isn't allowing it, there just aren't any moves left. She's a collaborative attorney, so she arranged this meeting and feels confident that a settlement…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 07:56 PM
2

Did yours end up settling? I read some of your history and it sounds like you're still going through it. Sorry man, hope it turns out
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 05:30 AM
2

Thanks for the encouragement, honestly helps alot. I'm somewhere between wondering if this is just a game her lawyer is playing to try and squeeze me, and my wife is insane. I think it's both. But I would assume at some point her attorney is going to get real with her. Her attorney is a bad fit for her personality type, and hasn't been to court for years. Taking a good father to court in an attempt to remove time with his dying child probably isn't the one to make your debut.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 05:13 AM
7

I'm kind of at a loss man. There was nothing left to give and she torched it anyways. We had a completed agreement months ago that she changed her mind on, and is suddenly willing to spend all of our remaining assets and another 2 years to end it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 04:58 AM
3

I've seen it.. unfortunately, knowing the rules of the system doesn't preclude having to participate
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 04:51 AM
4

I've thought that several times. I'm not unreasonable, the sticking point is 50 50. She doesn't have a schedule in mind other than 'anything but 50 50' and currently her justification is that he needs to be with her exclusively during the academic year for consistency. It's thin, and she's already been told that won't take precedent over time with each parent, even if she had some evidence to the fact that I would be detrimental to his schooling, which she doesn't.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 04:40 AM
4

My attorney set up the meeting; she seems to think something can be gained from it. If nothing else, apparently information gathering. She wants to hear my wife explain her position rather than getting it secondhand through her attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 04:37 AM
2

They weren't lying when they coined 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,' piss one off enough and they'll go to the ends of the earth to rip your dying child from your arms. I don't think the devil himself could think of a worse torture.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/21 05:21 AM
2

If that's what's going on, these people are parasites. My son is dying, so yea.. I'm not going anywhere. Appreciate the info.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/21 11:32 AM
2

I'm sorry to hear that man. What was the outcome, custody wise. I'm assuming you were found innocent? Any repercussions on her side for the false accusations? I have also been told it's not worth it and just take her insulting 75 25 offer. My son happens to be terminally ill, so it'd a different situation in that I won't ha e time to build a new relationship later, because he won't live much past 18, statistically. I'm hoping the courts understand that anything less than 50 50 is sentencing one …
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/21 01:46 AM
2

I understand. Where we're at right now, is that she has 3 paths. Sign what was agreed to in mediation, and settle everything. Sign a temporary custody arrangement until there is a follow on, or we file a motion for temporary custody to be ordered. I've been told the latter is 'risky,' although the details as to why haven't been made clear. What I was told is that we're not at that point, and it will be settled in its entirety before it sees court. Yes, my attorney is female, but she has a specif…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/21 03:56 AM
2

I think that's the idea behind my attorneys advice. Just be with him as often as possible, and let her go off the rails. It's just this limbo period that is horrible. Her control is fake, but I think it's only happening because she knows she doesn't really have a choice. Virginia courts are pretty much presumptive 50 50 if the father is asking for it, unless there's a damn good reason for it to be otherwise, which there isn't. Especially given the fact that my son is terminal, they're not going …
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/21 07:49 PM
1

I'm not sure we're there yet, like I said.at the end of the last mediation session we were still in agreement on 50 50, but with an unreasonable addendum that she wanted in there that didn't agree to and won't. She's getting a lot of pressure from everyone to sign this thing, including her own attorney. Honestly I don't think it has anything to do with me, and she's having a tantrum because she didn't get her way. Not sure she's willing to walk away from all the money if she's already been agree…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/21 07:35 PM
1

So effectively, since my wife won't speak to me, I sit here for weeks waiting to hear from her attorney. And as far as I know, she's anywhere between 0 and 50% custody, which possibly changes on a daily, if not hourly basis
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/21 07:30 PM
2

No attorneys at mediation, this wasn't court ordered. We don't even have a separation date, so technically we're not even separated yet. I rented the apartment in August, and I only sleep there, and that's only to a avoid conflict with her after my son goes to sleep. My attorney is well aware that I need a temporary order or a signed agreement, so that's our path right now. A lot of this is latency in attorneys speaking. Typically I have to wait a week for them to talk to eachother due to Holida…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/21 07:26 PM
1

Except she agreed, multiple times to 50 50 custody. There was no dispute, she was even the first person to suggest it in our first session. She just got upset at the very end, or cold feet, or whatever, and decided not only that she wasn't comfortable with it. But that under no circumstance would she 'ever fucking do 50 50 with me,' according to her own attorney, it came out of nowhere, and wasn't even suggested to her that it would be any different. So nobody knows what's going on. My attorney …
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/21 03:40 AM
1

Thanks, yea I understand it. Just kind of in wait mode right now, it's really up to her attorney to talk her out of it. What ended up happening was she pitched 75/25, I said no, she immediately went back to 50 50, but wanted an addendum that guarantees her primary physical custody at some arbitrary time in the future so now it's the exact same agreement, with an addendum that isn't even legal or acceptable by a judge. But now apparently, she has never wanted to do 50 50 in the first place, and w…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/21 07:24 PM
1

I can look into it, but this was voluntary mediation of a marital settlement. Our divorce isn't for a year, so I'm not sure what the next step is. Probably a temporary order of some, which I would hope I could just use our separation agreement to have it ordered, since it's the schedule she chose. The sticking point was she wanted an addendum in there guaranteeing her primary physical custody at some arbitrary point in the future. Basically, I'll agree to 50 50 today for custody tomorrow
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/21 07:20 PM
1

She didn't sign it
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/21 06:12 PM
2

Untrue. If the divorcing partners agree on an asset split, they can file the necessary paperwork themselves in an agreed-to solution. The divorcing partners can also hire a mediator, at a reasonable fee, to work through a compromise solution that can be presented in court. I'm not arguing with you - the problem with that, is the bulk of people untangling a family and marriage is a psychological one, in which everyone is scared and emotional. Believe it or not, when dilpomacy, and love fails, peo…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/21 09:51 PM
3

It's not a legal thing in VA, it's just a contract between us as a couple. You don't have to have a separation agreement at all, it's just the best way to set the precedent on a parenting schedule and allows you to move out. Most of the time it becomes legally binding in the divorce once the separation is executed.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/21 02:29 AM
1

Yessir. We only have a 15k discrepancy salary wise.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/21 07:56 PM
2

and yea, I could stay, but I'm not going to. Part of the deal, I agreed to move out with a signed reasonable 50 50 parenting plan
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/21 12:27 PM
4

It's VA. Not out of the woods yet, there will likely be some crazy stuff in the agreement otherwise that I'll have to hash out with a lawyer. I'd imagine it's chock full of landmines designed to sabotage me during the separation. Basically, I think she saw this is the hill I was willing to die on, scorched earth policy and had to come to do some serious soul searching. I know why it's my hill, these people need to ask themselves why keeping children away from good fathers is their hill. There's …
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/21 12:26 PM
4

We can't divorce for a year, I'm living in the home because we don't have a signed parenting plan that's 50 50.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/21 10:00 PM
7

Maybe, doesn't really matter. My question is why the fuck would she care anyways, she's the one initiating this and I didn't even want it
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/21 09:54 PM
5

There's no filing for anything in my state without being separated for a year. And I can't move out because she won't agree on custody. We're in for a long ride
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/21 09:52 PM
1

was your ex on the every other weekend train at first?
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/21 01:33 AM
1

Thats kind of where we're at. I said almost the exact same thing, with the addition that we can't even divorce for another 9 months so I'll still be living here before we ever mediate if she doesnt agree to it
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/21 01:25 AM
1

Im going to take it that way if thats what she decides to do. Nobody wants a court battle, especially since that would be refusing a huge paycheck and spending it on a lawyer that can't legally offer what I did, plus shes gambling on the custody as well. I wouldnt put it passed her at this point, but it would be an insane decision on her part if finances are even remotely a concern
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/21 12:19 AM
1

I've tried that - she believes he doesn't need me since I traveled a lot for work (about 4 months a year since 2009). Most of the notes I've found are regarding child support payments. Basically, state child support with 50/50 would obligate me to about 87 dollars a month, if I'm a weekend dad its 1100. I don't think it's entirely financial, but that certainly makes a difference to her. Just a matter of her being in her frustrated, angry, exhausted, emotional state that 1100 bucks a month sounds…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/21 12:15 AM
3

I already knew she was doing that before our conversation, just not sure if it changed her mind at all. I effectively offered 10 years of child support up front
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/21 12:52 PM
1

Thanks, she's decided to take our son to her parents for 3 weeks in a couple weeks. So I guess this whole thing just stagnates? I got no idea how what we're currently going through will be resolved by then.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/21 09:26 PM
1

Thanks. Working on it. She brought our son home from Virginia beach with friends and he was severely sunburned and blistering on his shoulders. I hate doing that because it was probably just a mistake, I was livid but I felt so gross taking pictures of it and recording him crying. But I guess if she's going to go the route of attacking my character because of rehab, I should log neglect
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/21 05:58 PM
1

As far as the school year not entirely, I think it'd be more detrimental to him to only see his father twice a month. Disease wise I'm well aware, and if it becomes unmanageable my thoughts was we either modify the plan for less back and forth or allow him to home base from one of our houses. This is likely 4 years from now, however. I'd like to have the time with him now while it's manageable
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/21 10:22 AM
1

we had a bit of a 'heart to heart' tonight, shes concerned about the school year and his adjusting to 2 different houses. Shes worried that when he goes down hill with his disease that I won't agree to allow him a single household. I'm trying to establish the custody so we can set a precedent and let that time come when it does. This is just our separation agreement, so yea - she could always try and pursue it again when we divorce, but at that point there'd have to be pretty good justification …
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/21 01:27 AM
2

I'm pretty sure everyone I've met in AA have been through divorce ;)
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/21 10:35 PM
2

It's the fact that I went to rehab last year that makes me anxious, but I hear what you're saying
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/21 01:27 PM
2

We're early in the process, she just told me she wasn't planning on 50 50 anymore based on her lawyers advice saying it's not good for him to move back and forth. There's been no separation agreement drafted yet, or signed. I will talk to a lawyer this week, I just don't see how I even have a shot if she doesn't agree.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/21 12:52 PM
1

Yes, there's 1 year separation. Problem being nobody can move because she won't agree to a parenting plan
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/21 12:23 PM
1

VA
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/21 12:17 PM
3

I don't want anything, I offered everything for 50 50. I haven't seen any paperwork yet, but she doesn't seem like she's budging. I still live here, and told her I wouldn't leave without 50 50. My only hope is her lawyer tells her to take the money
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/21 03:23 AM
2

Yea, because of the kind of oddball things hanging out there, I'm just going to try and make her financially independent to try and get 50 50 and keep it out of court. She's not budging, at least not to me. And I'm in no position to bring it up in a way that allows her to feel like taking the money is also the moral high ground. She doesn't want to feel like she's selling what's best for our son, now that she's convinced weekend dad is what's best.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/21 03:06 PM
1

Yea, it's just the uphill battle because of my rehab. Worse, my son is terminally ill and will be in a wheelchair soon, which adds another dynamic. Could go either way, needs stability in a single house or his time is already limited so not giving 50 50 is unfair.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/21 04:09 AM
2

Thanks, I'm trying. I just can't imagine how she thinks it's best, I've always been a great father, she said so herself. My issue is I traveled for work 4 months out of the year for the last 10 years to support the family and allow her to finish her PhD. It took it's toll on me along with COVID, and I entered a rehab facility for alcohol. Never any legal issues or financial, no neglect abuse etc. But I'm afraid I don't look too much like a worthy 50 50 parent.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/21 01:26 AM
12

Thanks, starting this now. Wife told me a few days ago that she changed her mind on 50 50 custody and wants me to be a weekend dad. I'm extremely anxious about it and spend most of my time ruminating and depressed. Hoping Virginia is lenient. I'm not sure how dug in she is on it, but I told her I wouldn't sign anything less than 50 50 and I can't leave the house unless we reach a custody agreement and she melted down saying it's not good for him 2 have 2 separate houses, as though the 4 walls ar…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/21 12:38 AM
1

I still just have a gut feeling its going to be a really hard sell that I only get 4 overnights a month, regardless of rehab
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/21 12:01 PM
1

Honestly, if it comes down to money (I understand it's crazy of me) but I agreed to basically give her anything she wants if she just agrees to 50/50. I just want it over with, and I dont want the trauma of a custody battle for anyone, most of all my son. So, hopefully with that information her lawyer will convince her that's the right path while I'm flexible on the cash. If it goes to court, all of that is off the table and she has to be really confident she'll also get custody
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/21 11:55 AM
1

I hope that's the case. I'm hoping her attorney is up front with her that a custody battle is going to be expensive and lengthy and has no real guarantees on outcome. Mine is pretty honest about stuff like that, things that are going to be a real hard sell. Based on her reaction when I said I wouldn't sign anything less than 50 50, I'm guessing neither she or her attorney were aware that I was going to push back, otherwise they wouldn't be drafting an agreement they know I wouldn't agree to.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/21 02:10 AM
1

It certainly was, they were very professional about it and explained possibilities on both sides.
/r/MensRights22/03/17 12:21 PM
–

Nobody is trying to change minds? This entire thread is talking in circles, everyone agrees routine circumcision is inappropriate. Yet people argue that I shouldn't be able to make that decision for myself as an adult? Absurd
/r/MensRights22/03/17 08:35 AM
–

To be fair, she is an anatomy and physiology teacher - maybe she just has a real passion for her profession?
/r/MensRights22/03/17 07:45 AM
–

As an adult - and fair enough, like I said it was a quick search - the information is there if you want to find it. Honestly, you'll find it for both sides, and it will always end in a stalemate, which is why this discussion keeps coming up over and over again. My contention is mostly how it is discussed, as in previous statements - no one even considers alternative viewpoints (especially on this thread). There can be no grey area, it is either severe sexual abuse and mutilation, or you're writt…
/r/MensRights22/03/17 07:35 AM
1

Of course she should be able to, if it is her decision, and hers alone. There are adult transgendered people that lop the entire thing off, to the point that it almost feels trendy to do so from the outside looking in. I don't see anyone getting out the pitchforks to regulate them doing so, nor do I think most people care - because they're adults, and can make their own decisions. I don't see how making the decision to get a circumcision as an adult incites more fury than that.
/r/MensRights22/03/17 07:20 AM
1

Or like my original post.. do whatever you want when you're capable of making the decision for yourself
/r/MensRights22/03/17 07:14 AM
–

It's not - here are some quick searches, I'm sure they'll be outright ignored or considered not valid, but here we go. And although anecdotal, I should mention I'm a circumcised adult, and I noticed absolutely 0, zip, not even a little bit of reduced sensitivity Here Here Here Here Here Here
/r/MensRights22/03/17 06:40 AM
–

I meant in the sense of the overall long term impact, not the procedure itself. I know it's an unpopular opinion on this sub to not have an entirely hyperbolic stance on circumcision, so I was prepared for the downvote train (see below where the conversation turns to tearing limbs off of infants).
/r/MensRights22/03/17 06:12 AM
–

I am against circumcision of a child - this has been my point the whole time, I am against banning circumcision as a medical procedure as a whole, however.
/r/MensRights22/03/17 04:13 AM
–

I'll refer to the core of my argument - from the beginning, I have had the stance that nothing should be done to a person that cannot decide for themselves. So if we're talking about all procedures, sure... If you're an adult and want to saw your legs off, go for it.. Although I would question your sanity and decision making skills. I don't have an issue with it if it is done in a sterile, clinical environment.. and the man is old enough to make that decision. Beyond that, what business is it of…
/r/MensRights22/03/17 04:09 AM
–

Sigh.. this is the off the deep end I was talking about, I guess we're talking about sawing limbs off of babies now.
/r/MensRights22/03/17 04:03 AM
–

I edited my comment to reflect my views on it, if you hadn't read that yet. First of all, banned is pretty strong, especially in a forum that is meant to promote choice, and equal rights. There are cultural and religious reasons people do so, and they should have that right. Additionally, in regards to a bris and a rabi using his teeth. This is a very very small sect of Hasidic jews that still practice this, if that is your issue... you should take it up with them (approximately 1.7% of the US, …
/r/MensRights22/03/17 03:55 AM
–

While I agree it should be a man's right to make the choice, I think this topic goes a bit off the rails into the realm of 'sexual abuse' and 'mutilation.' I personally think that's extremely hyperbolic. As for the decreased sensitivity, this is just one of those historical 'facts' that gets thrown around to fit a narrative, there are innumerable peer reviewed studies that have been conducted, and found no such evidence. Here is just one, but a simple google search will bring up numerous. Male c…
/r/MensRights22/03/17 03:31 AM
1

To be fair he was technically just as white as he was black, which rarely gets mentioned.. but that's a whole other can of worms.
/r/MensRights21/03/17 09:31 AM
8

He's a Marine medal of honor recipient.
/r/MensRights02/02/16 10:30 PM
9

On an entirely different, and possibly more positive note. I worked at a nursing home through college, very much dominated field for women. There were unnoticed attempts to be near me by a large portion of the female staff. At the time, I thought it as casual flirting, but was one day dragged into the HR office and asked if I was bothered by it. Needless to say, in my ignorance, I couldn't imagine where this idea came from, and honestly didn't mind the attention. A couple of months pass, and sho…
/r/MensRights20/08/14 01:02 AM
5

Social dynamics won't allow prosecution.. Either way, did he get an A?
/r/MensRights20/07/14 12:36 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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