No moves

Bipolar_investor · 2021-12-01T05:35:18+00:00

That's a shit situation to be in. I hope your lawyer knows how to play the game, now if it's the mediation lawyer that told you that, be careful he could be siding with her. My 2 cents.

sicrm · 2021-12-01T06:24:16+00:00

book a consult with another lawyer to make sure the one you have isn’t sending you down the river.

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-12-01T10:37:24+00:00

Don't allow her to be your children's gatekeeper. She isn't the superior parent because she gave birth.

For every man screwed by the system, one hundred men have fallen on their swords. And you're one of them.

If you capitulate to her, then you're never going to have significant parenting time with your kids. Your response to her outrageous requests is "I'll see you in court." Set sail for trial.

47omek · 2021-12-01T15:42:16+00:00

This is what happens when you move out of the marital home without a custody order signed by a judge. I know that doesn't help you OP, but let it serve as a warning to others contemplating moving out.

hombredelgato · 2021-12-01T13:36:20+00:00

If you allow a precedent to be set before the divorce starts, the court will consider that as you agreeing to the established "norm". You need to continuously object to this by sending dated emails to her and your lawyer so you can show that you are not accepting this as status quo.

IF you're not separated with a temporary custody agreement she can't deny you access to your child or keep you from interfacing with anyone on his behalf.

KneeDeepThought · 2021-12-01T15:43:22+00:00

Was your lawyer even there for the mediation? She does not get to dictate terms for visitation nor does she get to cut off your contact with you kids' doctors or teachers, etc. You need to push back on this hard as she's staking out a bargaining position and hoping you'll just get used to not being "allowed" access to your kids.

If your lawyer didn't fight back hard against this get a new one. They're letting your rights get stomped on.

jimsmythee · 2021-12-01T16:05:21+00:00

Yes, it's a shit situation. And this is where you need to document how Every Day you have wanted to see your child. Every day you have made an attempt to see your child.

And you document every time you were not allowed to see your child.

And you'll unfortunately, need to let the lawyers file a motion to the court to allow you a visitation schedule with your child, unencumbered by her.

jalopkoala · 2021-12-01T16:15:45+00:00

Everything she is “saying” move to written communication. Keeping you from speaking to doctors and school is a no no. Get her to admit what she is doing in writing. Otherwise her word or your.

Cc her on any communications with school. Or with a doctor.

From this point out, with her, there is no “gotcha”. You don’t let he know what you are doing or why. Just keep it documented in case you need it in court. You have to sadly let her behavior speak for itself.

Be the nicest you’ve ever been to her. Be incredibly gracious in your emails. Still say “no” when she asks for something crazy. But make sure the crazy she is asking for is in email and that your “no” is polite.

If she gets you to lose your temper even one time, especially in front of the kids, that can be it for you. The sad truth.

You are playing the long game now. Good luck.

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2021-12-02T03:21:32+00:00

Is your family lawyer a female by any chance? If so, get a male lawyer.

I suggest you take your son and let her go to court and start the court process to get the son back. Call your police department saying what you have done and that the son is safe and they can come do a safety check.

Since there is no court order, you can do that.

Another thing you can do is bring an urgent motion to start access. I would not waste time and money on negotiating or mediation.

AdultishRaktajino · 2021-12-01T17:21:45+00:00

Ask your attorney about a temporary custody order until your divorce is final.

Classic_Dill · 2021-12-02T18:05:57+00:00

Unless they can prove you're a danger to be around your child? she has no legal right to cut out the child's father, sounds like your attorneys don't want to fight.

Title	No moves
Author	dranic
Upvotes	12
Comments	20
Date	December 1, 2021 3:56 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/r65rji/no_moves/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/no-moves.1089391 https://theredarchive.com/post/1089391

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