How to cope with the ubiquitous lack of compassion?

2014-05-23T14:46:33+00:00

It's agonizing, feeling like you don't belong and aren't worth anything, because people have told you this lie and made clear that they don't value you. It sucks, and I'm sorry it happened to you.

Correct me where I'm off, but you're sounding like you feel resigned; I know that feeling. I had a serious rut of my own last night, where I kept telling myself it didn't matter, and that I would probably be better off lonely and dead if this was the kind of bullshit I would have to be facing daily. What you should recognize here is that this is Depressed Brain talking, and oftentimes, your Depressed Brain is kind of a douchebag to you, sometimes more so than those so-called friends.

Don't lose the way. I'm not a doctor or psychologist or anything telling you this; I'm just a person, telling you that I know it sucks, but also telling you that some shit really does get better, as cliched and irritating as that sounds at the moment. No, that doesn't solve all the problems in the world... but a little light in a dark place can go for a long time, if you let it.

jesterace · 2014-05-23T15:56:23+00:00

I have been fighting depression since childhood and nothing has helped as much as MGTOW philosophy so i'm going to recommend the same to you. It will make you feel even more sad, alone, angry, but eventually you will find peace.

Please check out Barbarossa and Spetsnaz. Drop by /r/mgtow and post your thoughts there if you'd like.

patriarchal_overlord · 2014-05-23T18:15:43+00:00

Honestly, good friends do take sides. Find better friends.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2014-05-24T03:04:27+00:00

How to cope with the ubiquitous lack of compassion?

Cocaine and whiskey. Preferably high quality.

Seriously though, your friends sound like they aren't real friends and your former girlfriend is clearly a monstrous evil parasitic shrew. You have my condolences.

If you're really long-term majorly depressed, perhaps you should see a therapist, however I think your problems are so clearly a product of your circumstances (feeling betrayed, feeling alone, feeling exploited) and Happy Pills may make you feel better but by themselves they won't fix the problem (they may make you feel more motivated to fix the problem, however).

Honestly though, therapy is expensive and Valium can be ordered online for cheap without prescription... however that's a downer so it won't make you feel peppy/proactive.

Priority 1, I think, is to fix your circumstances as much as possible. Demand your friends take sides and ditch them if they won't. If they won't side with you when you're a victim of injustice, they are not your friends. Don't feel like you're "losing" friends... if they don't take your side you never had them in the first place. Find supportive people, i.e. actual friends, online or IRL.

Consider filing police reports about this woman's conduct. If she committed crimes against you, she deserves comeuppance.

Consider therapy, but be careful... many therapists don't want to quickly help you with this issue... they want long-term clients to milk.

By coming here, you've gone at least some of the way to getting a supportive environment, so feel proud of yourself for taking that step.

Nomenimion · 2014-05-23T13:57:05+00:00

You must be strong. First step is to get rid of all the fake friends.

Gstreetshit · 2014-05-23T15:54:06+00:00

They say things like "that's between you and her", and "I don't take sides". I honestly don't know how to deal with this. It drove me to depression and I can't cope.

I think we all know what would happen if you were the one beating her.

I say make some changes in your life.

Start going to the gym. All kinds of good chemicals are released in the brain when working out.

Get some new friends.

Go do something you wouldn't normally do. Ever been rock climbing? Do you golf? Bowling or Pool league?

Go to places that have male camaraderie and meet new people.

GO TO THE GYM!

wanked_in_space · 2014-05-23T16:28:33+00:00

I just started calling people out. Most people don't even realize. If they do and still say that shit, drop them ASAP.

Juan_Golt · 2014-05-23T19:36:19+00:00

Life isn't a fair thing. Face that idea and own it. Then focus on getting what you want.

Don't worry about people's lack of compassion. You don't require it.

Don't worry about abusive women. Because you will remove them from your life.

It sounds like your spinning your wheels on this issue. To break yourself away from it, acknowledge that you aren't going to find some secret formula to make people act rationally. So stop trying. Instead, change your setting and center your mind on something else. Take a long hike, find a new hobby, learn a new skill, etc...

MRSPArchiver · 2014-05-23T13:34:59+00:00

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HolySchmoly · 2014-05-23T20:22:11+00:00

Have you tried speaking up for your side of the story more? I'm not saying you should. I'm just wondering. Of you have, what happened?

I think this is a problem for all of us. Even the best-intentioned of friends can cut you off but not all will.

Title	How to cope with the ubiquitous lack of compassion?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	13
Comments	37
Date	May 23, 2014 1:34 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/26aos1/how_to_cope_with_the_ubiquitous_lack_of_compassion/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-to-cope-with-the-ubiquitous-lack-of-compassion.1000382 https://theredarchive.com/post/1000382

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