Need some anecdotal testimony

Arby01 · 2012-11-11T08:36:07+00:00

Why don't you respond with more than 50% of women don't want shared custody because they won't receive child support even though children are generally better off with an involved father.

2012-11-11T15:02:55+00:00

I have an old friend who has two kids with an ex-girlfriend. He is legally blind and has a few health issues, so the state granted custody to the ex. He spent time with his sons regularly. Eventually they start telling him horror stories about how the ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend is abusive towards them. He finally gathers enough evidence and money to take it to court and gets full custody despite his disabilities. His sons are now happy and two of the most awesome kids I have ever met.

crazyex · 2012-11-11T15:36:06+00:00

I fought for and won primary custody to protect my kids from their mother. It cost me over $50k. Mom was ordered to pay around $200/month for child support, of which she has only paid about 4 months worth out of 4 years so far.

Keeping those figures in mind, by the time my youngest turns 18, if Mom even decides to pay, I'll be out over $20k.

It was never my intention to profit from my custody battle. I was prepared to spend whatever I had to if it meant my kids would be safe. Only after the smoke cleared did I sit down and look at the numbers.

Imthere · 2012-11-11T12:25:47+00:00

Bullshit. In my area, men have to pay child support even if custody is fifty-fifty.

Men go after 50/50 custody because they want to be part of their child's life. People who say otherwise are evil

AnnArchist · 2012-11-11T07:13:30+00:00

cant fix dumbass.

She assumes men don't want kids, even their own kids, over 50% of the time.

Tl/dr: being friends with dumbasses makes you look like a dumbass.

oneiorosgrip · 2012-11-11T14:24:15+00:00

My family's story can show two things: Some women play the system to use child support as a substitute for self-reliance (even at the expense of other women and our children.) Some women deliberately and needlessly separate their exes from their kids. The two are unrelated - child support and the human relationship should not be connected in any way - but often the two get treated that way when these behaviors are exhibited together by the same mom, who demands more than she needs from her ex (as my husband's ex did,) while refusing to recognize him as a co-parent.

Instead of re-writing my statements on our situation, I'm going to send you to a previous comment where I described it. The comment contains other information which really is an indictment of feminism in general, but it gives a fairly good summary of why the custody/child support argument is really not as cut-and-dried as so many women make it out to be.

rightsbot · 2012-11-11T06:58:19+00:00

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overcontrol · 2012-11-11T20:55:42+00:00

You don't even need anecdotal testimony, because I don't think they're impartial enough to acknowledge it.

They pretty much claimed that more than 50% of men in a divorce only go after custody so they don't have to pay child support.

Even assuming this is true, what does it say about the legitimacy of the child support system? If the child gets support, then why should it be a win/lose for the child/father when it could be a win/win?

SaltyBoner · 2012-11-19T21:26:13+00:00

If they really believe that, then maybe child support should not be such an unreasonable windfall so its not such a financial incentive. Then we can see if those men change their minds.

Any argument that people want custody for $, is simultaneously an argument that child support is too high.

ErasmusMRA · 2012-11-11T15:32:07+00:00

When I hear a statement from a woman which contradicts reality, I know it's projection.

Title	Need some anecdotal testimony
Author	CptSeaCow
Upvotes	14
Comments	11
Date	November 11, 2012 6:57 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1301rh/need_some_anecdotal_testimony/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/need-some-anecdotal-testimony.1009510 https://theredarchive.com/post/1009510

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