From woman, to man, to red pill

2012-11-10T21:29:22+00:00

I have also found it very difficult to get used to always having to take action and make decisions. Men are expected, forced rather, to be the active agents of society. If there is a problem, men are expected to take the initiative to solve it rather than seek help or advice or take advantage of social services.

... In straight relationships, the man is expected to approach the woman, initiate conversation, and move the relationship in the direction he wants it to go while simultaneously being extremely careful to monitor her unspoken cues to ensure he is not being rapey or creepy ... Being an active agent 24/7 is not a privilege, but a very tedious and stressful responsibility. Having it suddenly forced upon me without being trained for it since birth was mentally and physically exhausting.

You shouldn't feel too left out about that, rookie. A significant proportion of men born from the 1970s onwards weren't trained since birth for that role either. A commenter on Dalrock explained it better than I can, so I'll quote it here:

The problem can be complicated; many women, when they tell men to “be nice” don’t know that that’s ALL they might do. Learning confidence is no longer automatic for men, because being told to succeed and excell in competitiveness is not always automatic for men, since we’ve now got boys medicated and often repressed as young as their elementary school years. And God forbid they exclude girls in their play (anyone catch the sequel to “The Sandlot”? Ugh). Back when the older generation of women were growing up, boys were raised to be strong, assertive, dominant, so the “be nice” was an addition to this, a reminder to treat ladies nicely while you’re out conquering the world. Now, young men often aren’t taught to conquer the world anymore, so “be nice” is just one more limp limb to add to an already slumped body, which has been told from elementary school to college to calm down, sit still, let girls go ahead, consider them equal and pedestalize them at the same time. Such a formula makes a defeated man.

pjwork · 2012-11-10T21:32:24+00:00

I was going to compile a list of notable quotes from this article, but there are a ton. It's a fascinating look from someone who has been to both sides of the gender divide.

dermanus · 2012-11-11T00:57:10+00:00

Very good article. I especially like the "body as applicance" line.

C0CKPUNCHER · 2012-11-11T05:04:17+00:00

The thing I note is that he was bullied up to the point of admission by women, then he was told not to cry and to man up... This is two attempts two push him over. I think it shows the sort of attacks men go through all the time, and that succeed in getting men to kill themselves all the time. What for him where remarkable and stark due to his late introduction, are the norm for most men.

johnmarkley · 2012-11-10T20:08:19+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2012-11-11T01:08:33+00:00

wonderful read it's nice to get the mens rights side of the story!

SovietSteve · 2012-11-11T06:58:23+00:00

It's official, male privilege is a myth

Title	From woman, to man, to red pill
Author	johntheother
Upvotes	86
Comments	22
Date	November 10, 2012 7:54 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/12z5a9/from_woman_to_man_to_red_pill/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/from-woman-to-man-to-red-pill.1009545 https://theredarchive.com/post/1009545

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