Woman wants my boyfriend to be the father of her kid, who already has a dad, to get out of her marriage... Can I get some advice? I'm a little scatterbrained right now, sorry for the scattered info.

Revoran · 2012-10-30T20:05:19+00:00

DNA test. Simple.

Ryan called her dad and her dad told him that her marriage wasn't working out and just wants a way out, and apparently her way out is having another dad for the baby... I don't get it.

Some women are just crazy.

Get the DNA test before she files a claim, especially if she somehow got his name on the birth cert, as it could take some time to fight it in court, and the state of MI will not refund any wrongful child support.

Lonemango · 2012-10-30T20:54:30+00:00

Unlike the other reditors here, I don't know if a paternity test is necessarily the right move. Unless demanded by the courts or advised by his lawyer it just shows that he admits the possibility that he could be the father, and if it comes back positive then he is screwed for sure. The father is the father, she can't just claim that your boyfriend is now the father. There is nothing that ties your boyfriend to the kid. He should continue to act like he is not the father, because he is not, regardless whether or not the child has his DNA. if I were him I would not admit to any relationship with the woman at the time of her pregnancy.

Your boyfriend needs to lawyer up, your state laws may vary. No matter what your boyfriend thinks or what that woman said, he may be the father. I don't think a DNA test is in his best interest. It may give you piece of mind, but it may instead tie a huge financial anchor around his neck.

Glibni · 2012-10-30T19:11:56+00:00

If his name is not on the birth certificate, and he has not been involved in the child's life in any way, and you're positive that he isn't biologically the father, then I'd say there's pretty much nothing she can do. That said, its kind of sad that a man needs to do all three to avoid paying child support for a child that isn't his.

Funcuz · 2012-10-30T20:58:10+00:00

Relax, you guys have all the power here. Just block her number, ignore any communication from her. Someone else has been acting as the father to the child so even if he is the biological father, he is probably off the hook.

If she gets some legal traction, be sure to get a paternity test. Make sure he does not give her any money or in any way act as a father to the child.

The ex will probably cry and stomp her feet and try to cause trouble, but from what you've told us there is nothing really she can do.

MechPlasma · 2012-10-30T20:38:09+00:00

Huge ninja edit: Ryan called her dad and her dad told him that her marriage wasn't working out and just wants a way out, and apparently her way out is having another dad for the baby... I don't get it.

I shouldn't have to tell you that there's no situation where that's true. She might actually believe it though if she's arrogant enough.

EpicJ · 2012-10-30T19:12:45+00:00

Lawyer up

actanonverba8 · 2012-10-30T20:47:45+00:00

Get a lawyer, get a dna test, and likely most important of all, be supportive of each other. She has the power of the state to drag you boyfriend through hell and back again and likely won't think twice to drag you along for the ride as well. I wish the both of you the best of luck.

SentientWinter · 2012-10-31T01:09:19+00:00

Anyways, Ryan has just started a very successful business

There it is

Glibni · 2012-10-30T19:14:36+00:00

Take a paternity test. If he's the father, his ship is sunk. If he isn't, he can probably deflect any demands she makes in court, especially if they were unmarried and he didn't put his name on the birth certificate.

Xenoith · 2012-10-30T20:20:32+00:00

He wasn't listed as the father, correct? You're fine. Probably. If they come after you go for a DNA test. Without him being listed as the father and with your story backing up his about how she cheated and he can't be the father, it's unlikely he'll be put up for child support. The other guy might.

Jamungle · 2012-10-30T20:55:51+00:00

You shouldn't freak out. One letter from a good lawyer will straighten this dummy out.

a_weed_wizard · 2012-10-30T20:24:01+00:00

As other people have pointed out, a DNA test will easily resolve this problem. Get it done ASAP if she tries to use the legal system to extract money from your boyfriend.

camisadelgolf · 2012-10-30T21:26:57+00:00

I used to do paternity testing, and we saw this all the time. There are laboratories all over the country that can collect the samples, and your boyfriend doesn't need to be present when his ex-girlfriend's son is getting his sample collected.

rightsbot · 2012-10-30T19:08:19+00:00

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MRMRising · 2012-10-30T21:00:42+00:00

I don't get it.

Of coursse you do, its called female hypoagency.

Here;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBgcjtE0xrE&feature=plcp

Glibni · 2012-10-30T21:58:38+00:00

As many have said here, lawyer first, paternity test later. Also, he should talk to a lawyer about the legal ramifications of business ownership. It is unlikely that she will be able to extract any child support from a business that he started if it is properly setup. Should would only be allowed to claim based on income not the holdings of a corporation. State laws do, of course, vary.

Oh, and he needs to worry more about the laws in the state that she is living in. Not the state you live in. They would have jurisdiction.

Lyonette · 2012-10-30T19:11:50+00:00

To be honest, it's really between Ryan and his ex. A DNA test will easily prove he's not the father. (Further, I believe in many states, the name on the birth certificate or wedding license is the de facto father.)

SilencingNarrative · 2012-10-31T00:23:21+00:00

She is the reason we exist. What a horrible, wretched person. I hope she dies slowly and painfully. Seriously.

snackmcgee · 2012-11-01T01:25:17+00:00

If they are married and/or he is on the birth certificate, then he is the father - legally. She cannot come after him for back child support or anything like that. However, depending on the state, various people can challenge paternity. Some states anybody can, some states just father-mother-other potential father.

If the child turns out to be his, does he want to be involved? If so, he should just get the process started and over with for a DNA test, etc. If not, he could consult a lawyer and/or wait and see if he is served.

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