My family says I have a part to play in my nephew's briss. . . What do?

pocketknifeMT · 2012-10-02T05:48:05+00:00

Refuse, politely, but refuse. Give her a heads up and tell her you're against the practice and want nothing to do with it. Participating in the ceremony, when you don't agree with it, makes it kind of a sham. Be honest and upfront, they can always get a substitute.

Demonspawn · 2012-10-02T05:37:30+00:00

You say no. You stand up for what you believe in.

ErasmusMRA · 2012-10-02T05:36:53+00:00

You should ask yourself what's more important to you, the moral integrity of not participating in a genital mutilation of a helpless child, or appeasing those who are doing it by being part of the ceremony.

What your parents, your sister and your relatives want is your participation because it would signify your approval, at least on some level, which would make them feel better about themselves for the act of religiously motivated violence towards a helpless child.

2012-10-02T13:02:25+00:00

Please don't be a part of it. It is extremely immoral practice.

AnnArchist · 2012-10-02T15:04:35+00:00

Tell them no, tell them why.

Save the penis, save the world

Hamakua · 2012-10-02T09:53:12+00:00

I don't know the relationship with your sister, but with mine it would be a simple stern talking to then a polite but firm refusal to participate.

My sister respects my firmness in my stances far more and beyond any bruised feelings she might incur when her actions cross those stances. It's to the point where she would "dislike" that I become a soft touch and amenable to her every whim. I am the only one in her life who realistically knows how to use the word "no".

But that is my relationship with my sibling, I do not know you with yours. That said, I would simply and politely refuse to go. If you want to do something nice for your nephew, write him a letter and send it to yourself to post mark it. give it to him on his 18th/21st whatever.

What you write in the letter is up to you but here are a few ideas.

"sorry I didn't attend your bris, it was a principle thing, but I was thinking of you and your mom on that day and wrote this letter for you to understand that when you are able to"

It can be more light hearted, it can not touch circumcision at all. You can simply write to him thinking of him in the present but to a (young) adult in the future.

Another really nice thing would be to get a US savings bond and put it with the letter.

nathandrakesdick · 2012-10-02T15:29:27+00:00

I'm glad you decided to take a stand on what you believe in. I am however, curious to know what the reaction of your family is to you not attending. Hopefully they will be supportive of your decision.

2012-10-02T05:30:39+00:00

I'm not Jewish.

easy - "I don't feel comfortable participating in a religious ceremony / of this nature."

just not my sister because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

tell your sister.

but I'm afraid of making my parents, the inlaws, and my sister angry or hurt.

they intend to sexually assault an innocent infant in the name of a religion you do not follow. Refusing to participate is a strong enough statement, imo.

2012-10-02T16:14:35+00:00

Since you want polite and respectful, I'd tell them, "I'll be happy to participate as long as the circumcision is replaced with a naming ceremony as per the daughter. Holding someone down and cutting their private parts is morally wrong and I cannot participate."

Personally, since I really don't care who I offend at an already offensive occasion, I'd go and read something about the sensitivity loss due to male genital mutilation, probably through a megaphone. The bris would be something to remember, but not for the reasons they'd hope.

ninjaguineapig · 2012-10-02T18:32:25+00:00

You and your sister aren't Jewish? The baby isn't either, and his dad should know that.

down_vote_that · 2012-10-02T07:54:20+00:00

the only part that anyone should play in a briss is to take the kid and run

Jazzeki · 2012-10-02T09:11:08+00:00

honestly i'd tell them i'd join them once they have join me in my satanic blood orgy that i need as many family members as possible for. then again i'm disrespectful and passive agresive like hell and this would not at all be constructive to do. but it would be fun at least.

electricalnoise · 2012-10-02T16:48:03+00:00

"Would you cut your pussy lips off for this religion?"

"My God, no!"

But there's no such thing as dirty or "inappropriate" language in my family.

rightsbot · 2012-10-02T05:24:17+00:00

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lurker_lenore · 2012-10-02T06:20:41+00:00

You have to weigh your opposition to the briss against the risk of alienating your sister. This is a religious thing, though, and folks tend to be rather touchy about things like that.

I don't know either of you, or how your relationship stands, so I can't offer anything more salient.

dumbguyscene28 · 2012-10-02T06:00:05+00:00

No one should be angry with you. You know your sister better than the rest of us. Give her a call as soon as possible. Just say you cannot participate for your own personal reasons. No need to take a political stand or force any sort of confrontation.

Let her know early so that she can ask someone else, and if it's not too late and you can afford it, bring a nice gift, or even better, a Jewish new baby card, or ANY new baby card, and place $18 in it. 18 is a special number in Judaism that represents Chai or life, and by giving the baby $18 (or $36 or any multiple of 18) you will be showing your sister and her husband that you honor their choice of religion. http://judaism.about.com/od/judaismbasics/g/chai.htm

2012-10-03T06:28:17+00:00

"evidently, I'm supposed to read something for the ceremony or whatever."

Tell them that you thank them for the opportunity, but that you morally do not agree with what they are doing and do not wish to participate.

You could go further to say they shouldn't perform the mutilation because your nephew cannot choose whether he wants it done or not.

dumbguyscene28 · 2012-10-02T06:08:44+00:00

Reddit seems pretty damaged tonight. I've had two comments disappear. One reappear, and lots of emergency maintenance.

Anyway.

Let your sister know as soon as you can. I don't know why you have to do anything, but give her as much time as you can to have someone else take your place.

Bring a nice baby gift, but my suggestion is, if your sister and/or her husband are Jewish it would be especially nice to give a new baby card (maybe a Jewish one) with $18 placed in it.

18 is a special number in Judaism that represents life, so multiples of $18 are given as gifts at weddings, bat/bar mitzvahs, graduations, any times like that. Your sister and her husband and their family will understand with that gift that you honor their choice of religion.

http://judaism.about.com/od/judaismbasics/g/chai.htm

Edit to add:

Also, enjoy yourself. It's a party, it's a new baby, it's a wonderful time. You may disagree with circumcision and have very sound reasons for doing so. Many many many Jewish men have been circumcised. It may be wrong. Some may regret it. But by and large they've managed to enjoy a huge amount of sex. (And of course, many of our most famous porn stars are Jewish!) It's not the worse thing in the world, and your new nephew will be okay. And with your activism against circumcision elsewhere, well maybe his son won't be circumcised.

Eryemil · 2012-10-02T16:25:52+00:00

Honestly, circumsision is really an ancient Jewish practice -- it's not a part of the mass circumisions in the US, other than maybe being influenced by it. I'd let it be.

If you're not Jewish, I don't see why they're wanting you to go... kind of odd.

My family says I have a part to play in my nephew's briss. . . What do?

Comments

I repeat: what the fuck went wrong with you to turn you into this?

Title	My family says I have a part to play in my nephew's briss. . . What do?
Author	Charlesthehamster
Upvotes	21
Comments	32
Date	October 2, 2012 5:22 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/10sxfg/my_family_says_i_have_a_part_to_play_in_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/my-family-says-i-have-a-part-to-play-in-my-nephews.1012259 https://theredarchive.com/post/1012259