Sexism = privilege + power?

Here’s something that’s been bothering me today. If you’d like to help me understand this concept, I’d really appreciate it. Keep in mind, I’m no expert, but I’d like to flesh this idea out for future use. Constructive criticism is greatly needed, calling me an idiot, not so much ;). Basically, the feminist idea that “sexism = privilege + power” is not necessarily an objectionable idea to me. I can get behind this with relatively few mental gymnastics, and here’s why.

Sexism = privilege + power makes sense when sexism is used as a verb, as in sexism in action. Example number one would be “He pays me less because I’m a woman.” (As an aside, the sexes could be reversed in any of my examples, I just chose them randomly.) The idea that a male manager is paying a female employee less based on her sex is definitely a case of sexism. It isn’t just a case of sexism because it follows the dictionary.com definition of sexism, “2. discrimination or devaluation based on a person’s sex, as in restricted job opportunities; especially, such discrimination directed against women”, but because it also follows the feminist definition of sexism. In this example, the manager has the power (1. ability to do or act; capability of doing or accomplishing something.) to dictate how much the employee is getting paid. The manager also has the privilege (2. a special right, immunity, or exemption granted to persons in authority or office to free them from certain obligations or liabilities: the privilege of a senator to speak in Congress without danger of a libel suit.) of being the direct supervisor of the employee. The second point is a multi-edged tool, which also bleeds into the power standard, as in the manager is directly in charge of the employee so has the opportunity to dictate what that employee needs to be doing. They could assign them tasks that would be beneficial to the employee’s career, or set them up for failure. The manager is also in control of the employee’s progress and/or performance reports. These have a more direct impact on the employee’s compensation. (As another aside, while it is entirely possible for a manager to negatively influence an employee’s career track, it is not considered a best practice, and makes no practical sense. Because of this, I sincerely doubt that it happens very often, and anecdotally, I have never seen it happen based on the sex of the employee.) This example bolsters the idea of sexism = privilege + power, as well as the real definition of sexism.

Example number 2: “She slapped my ass because I’m a man and she thought that I would like it.” This example follows the real definition of sexism because it is an “1. attitude or behavior based on tradition stereotypes of sexual roles.” Why, you may ask? Because it is generally accepted that “men appreciate any (invited or uninvited) sexual contact from the sex that they are attracted to”. This lines up directly with a traditional stereotype of the sexual role of men in our society. This example also follows the feminist definition of sexism = privilege + power. The power (1. the ability to do or act; capability of doing or accomplishing something) in this case is the idea that a woman can do this to a man and will not get in trouble for her actions based on a general sense in society that men appreciate, and even go searching for, this kind of behavior. Even if the man in this example retaliates with an action that would be considered appropriate for a woman to react with, e.g. slapping the offender, the female in this example also has the privilege (1. a right, immunity, or benefit enjoyed only by a person beyond the advantages of most: the privileges of the very rich.) of having men around her who will react negatively not to the offender, but to the male who retaliates. This notion is referred to as the “white knight” phenomenon, as in the female has the privilege of having men around her who will defend her without asking any questions, or being her “knight in shining armor”, or her “white knight”.

The arguments that I’ve seen from feminists are that as a male, it is impossible for me to be a victim of sexism. Not only is this patently false, as I’ve just shown, based on both the real definition of sexism, as well as the feminist definition, but it’s also a concrete demonstration of the idea that it is possible for me to be a victim of sexism as a male. The idea that someone can tell me that it is impossible for me to be a victim of sexism based solely on my sex is a perfect example of sexism, especially when referring to the real definition of sexism. When using the feminist definition of sexism = privilege + power, it is also possible to show that this is sexist. A feminist, which could be considered a position of privilege (the idea that a feminist, due to knowledge acquired while studying feminist theory, knows more than the common person), and could also be considered a position of power (when discussing feminism on certain blogs or subreddits, the feminist has the power to both influence the comments and responses on the site/subreddit, as well as the power to block or otherwise censor users and/or comments), can also be sexist when telling me that I have no idea what I’m talking about, as well as being told that I cannot be a victim of sexism based on my sex. I will admit that the last statement used ridiculous mental gymnastics and very specific conditions. Fortunately, this allows me to make the main point of my argument. There is a difference between the abstract concept of sexism, and a concrete action of sexism. The difference lies in application. When used as a verb, as an action, as in the action of sexism in the real world is the same as using privilege and power in concert to subjugate, disenfranchise, or otherwise denigrate one sex, then it makes sense, and is demonstrable. However, as an argumentative tool in an abstract sense, the feminist definition of sexism is a farce. It requires using conflicting theories, counterintuitive arguments, and logical fallacies to demonstrate. To say that I am somehow oppressing another commenter on an online forum by arguing against their point is ridiculous, especially when that forum is in no way under my control. As well, to say that I could never understand sexism, let alone be a victim of sexism, based on my sex and using the feminist definition of sexism is equally ridiculous.

I’ve seen many feminists argue on reddit that my position as a male in our society somehow offers me certain privileges that aren’t available to others, primarily women. Well, I hate to inform those people, but as a male of low social class, low income class, and also a minority (Hispanic), I do not benefit from these supposed privileges. While serving in the US Army, I was subject to the same standards as every other soldier in the Army. I was never offered anything that was above my level, other than tasks or positions that I had proven that I was capable of accomplishing. How did I prove that I was capable of accomplishing those tasks? I did that by demonstrating work ethic and a capacity for responsibility. When a task proved to be beyond my capabilities, primarily my capacity for responsibility, I was admonished and taken off of the task. While attending college these past three years, I was held to the same standard as everyone else in those classes. I never benefitted from any sort of privilege, other than my age (I re-started college after I left the US Army at the ripe old age of 29), and the only way that I benefitted from that “privilege” was the idea that I actually knew what I was talking about, and that I probably had a higher capacity for responsibility than my classmates. Sometimes the instructors were correct in their assessment, and sometimes I proved to them that they can’t make judgments without any supporting evidence. So, both in my professional career and my college career, I have never benefitted from any status other than my age, knowledge, or experience. Out of those three factors, the only one I didn’t “earn” was my age. As far as my private life goes, I am short (5’6”), I’m chubby (bordering on fat at 160 lbs), I smoke (I’ve recently quit), I occasionally do recreational drugs (I’ve been told on multiple occasions that drug use is a deal breaker, no matter their frequency), I’m socially awkward, I drink about 7 times a year (I’ve been told that I’m no fun because I don’t take part in this socially and legally acceptable drug use), and I generally don’t date well. Please explain to me how it is that I, as a male, with all of those qualifiers, hold any sort of privilege or power over any other person? Fortunately for me, my beautiful wife was able to see past these traits, just as I was able to see past hers ;).