Hi MR, this is a throwaway, but I've been lurking here for a long time and would like to say thank you for all the insightful commentary here.

I've been trying to wrap my head around a realization that I had a month back - that I might actually be better off single.

I'm from a traditional family in the countryside and have been in several long term relationships since I was 17. I'm now 30. In-between relationships, there was always great desire to be with someone again - not to sleep around, but to develop another long-term, caring relationship.

I moved to a big coastal city a few years ago and the last couple women I've dated have been city girls, so to say. I dated a girl for a year and her main issues with me were that I worked too much and didn't pay for everything. At first I felt ashamed, because I couldn't afford to do so - I made a pittance when I first moved here. Eventually I started to feel a bit indignant about it, because though she seemed to want all the benefits of 1960s chivalry, she wasn't willing to bend, or even meet on the middle on the things a woman would traditionally do in that situation - housework, etc. I did the majority of it, in fact.

She was also upset at how much I worked. I realistically worked about 60 hours a week - 45ish on my day job, plus additional projects to develop my skills. Unfortunately, she had no hobbies outside of spending time with me, and despite repeated help and encouragement to get her started on hobbies, the conflict remained, and we eventually broke up.

Well, that extra time paid off; I spent the next year and a half moving up - doubled my salary, etc. How sad, I thought, that my ex wanted to have me both ways - all my free time, and me to be successful. I had a lot of fun being single for the first time in my life. With both the income and having developed a very good and supportive group of friends in the city, life was a lot of fun!

I started dating a young woman a six months ago. I was great because it made my family happy and stopped them from asking questions. Ugh. Anyway, it feels like the same problems here again. I promised myself that I would never be perceived as cheap again - I pay for everything we do, which is great for her, because her income in negligible. She's appreciative of it for the most part, but gets upset if I say something like, "well, I spent a lot of money last week, maybe we should hold off on that," which she perceives as an attack on her spending habits. Much like my ex, she also refuses to do anything better than meet in the middle in any other area of support or household tasks. ie: she lambasted me the other day for several dirty dishes in the sink, after I had worked a 12 hour day. She works 7 hours a day, at most.

Anyway, to get to the point, this situation contrasted with the 1.5 years of single fun I had prior to this, finally triggered a question that had never popped up in my mind before - "Am I better off being single?" Anyone else gone through this evolution? It seems like to me, the stereotype is that men start out being free spirits, but eventually are pinned down by the right woman, not the other way around.

Thanks for listening!

tl;dr: If you were from a traditional family, always saw yourself as being the familiy man, and/or always wanting a reltionship - did you hit a point where you realized, or at least started questioning if you're better off being single?