You can go through my post history to see it, it was just a couple of hours ago. The responses in that thread truly shocked me. I know I was being pathetic and "beta", but four years of unimaginable torture from mental illness will do that to you. I think I finally realize how truly conditional women's love is. In my mind, you can't love somebody because they're confident. That's not love, that's… Honestly, that's being a submissive, primitive animal that needs a sort of father figure to live their lives. How easy it is for them to aggressively judge me, saying I shouldn't bet my self worth on being in a relationship. I guarantee you those women have never gone more than four years without being with someone. But the last straw into why I think I might have finally swallowed the red pill, even though before I considered women the same as men, is this; I stopped and thought about what the equivalent response would be if I was a girl and had posted this on ask men. I would bet my dick that they would have been a lot nicer. Looking back, almost every woman in my life has treated me poorly, while there have been plenty of men that were very supportive. Tonight was a revelation for me, but I'm still left in pieces; how will I come to terms with my inner hopeless romantic? It feels like a parasite that I cannot conquer.