here is an email I got this morning

"Here are the changes that I would like to make to our agreement of when you see [our child].

On Wednesdays: I would like the hours to officially be 3.30-6.30pm.

This is so she can have time to wind down and have a bath before going to bed. This also gives me time to feed her as she has many times come home looking for more or different things to eat.

I am very worried about her still not having a bed to sleep on despite constant reassurances from you that you would get her one. She has not had her own place to sleep in for many months when living at your various houses. You have also moved into 7 different addresses since December 2008. This includes moving in with 2 other people with whom you have been in a relationship. This is unsettling and unnecessary for [our child]. You are now moving in with someone with whom you have been together for about a month.

To this end:

Until you provide a bed and a space for [our child] to sleep in and live without your girlfriend in the same place for 6 months, she will not have overnights with you. You can see her either Saturday or Sunday on alternating weekends from 9am – 5pm based on the current schedule of alternating. You can see her on Sundays from 4.30-6pm on the opposing weekends for an extra visit if you would like.

When you have established yourself in a place with the appropriate space and equipment, we can return to the previous schedule. I would like it to be the rule of thumb that you do not introduce living with new partners until the relationship has lasted 6 months. I will obviously do the same.

If you want to discuss this with a mediator let me know and perhaps we can come to an agreement and not have to go to a contested court hearing. I would like to make these changes as soon as possible.

Thanks, [your ex wife]"

I have lived in 4 places, not 7. One in town, one with girlfriend 1, once again in town, now with girlfriend 2. My second time in town has been since June, I have not completely moved in. She has legal and physical custody, but the child parent contact schedule is 2:30-8 every Wednesday, and every other weekend 5pm Fri to 5pm Sunday. My daughter has her own bed, but it is just an air mattress- so that part I agree with.

Backstory- she met someone else, cheated on me, filed for divorce, got the house and moved the new boyfriend in before officially divorced. Her parents paid for best lawyer where my lawyer did nothing.

Don't know what else to say except anger part of grief/reaction is almost gone. Thanks for reading

UPDATE: Got futon couch/bed today. Not enough space for permanent bed. It is very comfortable and huge. And nice. converting 10 x 15 foot space into kid zone. lots of toys already, computer, and a really nice bean bag. might go to mediation, if the mediator thinks it is a good idea- all I would want to change is Wed visits. Otherwise I do not want to give up my time, something I felt was right but wanted the opinions of the great Reddit hive mind. Thanks for the support.