Who should pay for the date? "You don't understand," she tells me. "A woman wants to feel like she's appreciated. And if she has to pay, she doesn't feel that way." Women: Your cake: have it or eat it.

KosmoTheSynner · 2009-04-28T19:58:03+00:00

Why not just make it equal? Split the bill, half and half? If both participants are eating and enjoying some time together, I see no reason why the bill can't be shared as well. It isn't a matter of a woman feeling appreciated, it's about realizing that it takes two to tango and for any relationship to work out, both people have to putting in an equal amount. We need to stop perpetuating the gender divisions and roles in society and start focusing on the equality for all sexes. Otherwise, we're going to keep going back in forth in debate between the feminists and fighters for men's rights. Simplify the problem, simplify the solution.

2009-04-28T21:31:43+00:00

If a woman needs to have things bought and paid for her to feel appreciated, she's not worth it. Appreciation should come from the relationship and love between the two partners, not gifts and objects.

neppy · 2009-04-28T19:58:10+00:00

I'm not a big dater but if I have been out on a date I've never let the man pay for me. Something about it just makes me feel awkward. He shouldn't have to pay just to spend time with me. It's tantamount to prostitution. Maybe my view on it is a little extreme, but I've never seen the point of a man paying a woman's way during a date. Surely she can pay for her own drinks/meals/tickets... and I do. It also means I don't owe the man anything on the off chance that I realise I don't find him attractive or enjoyable company, and he hasn't lost anything either.

TangerineMango · 2009-04-28T20:55:51+00:00

Whenever I go out, I never assume the guy's paying. I order things in my price range, and when it's time for the bill, I pull out my wallet. Here, things can go one of two ways: - If the relationship is new, the guy most often says something like "Oh don't worry, I'll get that" - If we've gone out for a while, it really doesn't matter who pays. I've happily treated guys to dinner.
A boyfriend of mine was unemployed for a long time while I worked. I was extremely uncomfortable with him paying for me. I convinced him to start at least splitting the bill on a regular basis, because that way we can go to better places more often.

Kuonji · 2009-04-28T20:23:45+00:00

Ugh.. can't stand people that think men should still pay for dates.

MillardFillmore · 2009-04-29T02:18:50+00:00

As a man, sometimes I enjoy paying for my date, it goes back to that whole "provider role" deal. But if the girl doesn't at least offer, she's a bitch.

2009-04-29T15:47:18+00:00

Unless I'm with a prostitute, all my dates pay for themselves...

Muphry · 2009-04-28T19:50:18+00:00

I probably pay for 75% of my girlfriend and I's costs, despite the fact that I've been unemployed for over a year, and she has a job (although a low-paying one). I'm fine with that. But she also doesn't give me feminist crap - she's fairly old-style as well. Expects to take care of the kids, cook meals, etc. So that's good by me.

But if you have a high-flying modernist woman, and she still isn't paying for shit... dump her.

JustJonny · 2009-04-29T00:54:55+00:00

This is an easy problem to solve. If she's a whore, the man pays, but then she's obligated to put out.

Otherwise, it's 50/50, or you pay for what you order.

AnnArchist · 2009-04-28T19:13:52+00:00

First date: Absolutely.

Past that I won't.

BestServedCold · 2009-04-28T21:38:58+00:00

I don't mind paying for the girl. I know what restaurants fit my budget and I ask ladies to those ones.

of course, my girls needs to know how to cook, look good and understand the 2-3 zone defense in football and basketball.

worked out nicely for me.

linuxlass · 2009-04-28T23:21:11+00:00

I'm surprised this is still an issue. People should be considerate of each other. Take turns, split the bill in half, richest person pays, something. Talk about it ahead of time.

I don't date, so I probably shouldn't comment, but the few times I've had someone pay for me (the company picks up the tab, etc), it feels awkward. I wouldn't want that feeling on a date.

2009-04-29T16:24:17+00:00

People are ignorant of history. The reason men pay is that historically men had money, because they had jobs, and women didn't, because they worked at home. The men paid for stuff that required money, but the women would then cook meals or knit a sweater or something. So there was parity there.

But not women have jobs and money. If a woman still does things like cook dinner and such, then it's fair for the guy to pay, just like the old days.

But if a modern couple just go out all the time, and the man pays and the woman not only doesn't pay, but doesn't do anything else either, then clearly that's extremely bogus.

If a modern woman has a job and doesn't intend to do any of the historical womanly things like cook and sew, then she should pay for herself.

DOGA · 2009-04-30T02:29:08+00:00

You think that's awkward? Guys expected me to pay back when I was dating.

But yeah... pay for your own stuff, people.

Greasy · 2009-05-03T11:16:35+00:00

The people referenced in this article incensed me to end. People didn't live in the same time as the dinosaurs!

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