Males are asked to be above normal emotions. Here are alternatives when discussing hurdles.

Alfredaux · 2021-05-14T23:32:27+00:00

Sooo, just saying “oof” isn’t the way?

Itasenalm · 2021-05-14T22:50:45+00:00

And remember, none of this has to be word-for-word. If I were to say

”Sometimes we experience bad things. How can I support you?”

it would probably sound very odd to most people who know me. That’s just not how I speak. Saying something like

“I’m really sorry you went through that. If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know. I really do care about you, and that means I’ll be doing my best to be there for you when you need someone.”

would sound much more natural and reassuring. What’s important is the message, not just the words. As always, think before you speak. Consider how your words will sound and the message they’ll put across. I know it might sound like a lot, it took a decent while for me to make that habit 24/7, but when someone is hurting it’s definitely worth setting the time aside to do this.

Ichtaca_nom · 2021-05-14T18:56:46+00:00

Men are often times asked to be above emotions when dealing with hurdles in their lives. It’s important to show we are here for each other when we see our brothers (or even sisters) struggling.

Tokkojin · 2021-05-15T02:29:50+00:00

"It's hard, but I believe in you."

could read as

"It's hard to believe in you, but I will choose to do it anyway."

The other alternatives are better, though.

Glittering_Stock6272 · 2021-05-14T22:28:20+00:00

This is the way.

yadoya · 2021-05-14T22:14:23+00:00

Some people really need to hear "don't be so negative" though

SonOfHibernia · 2021-05-15T13:54:34+00:00

This is why having our boys surrounded by women for 90% of their childhood is destructive snd needs to be addressed. Women simply don’t relate to boys on an emotional level the way they do girls. It shows in boys falling behind more and more in school as male teachers increasingly become a thing of the past. If you have a son, take this advice as I went through both: public school surrounded by female teachers I constantly had academic and behavior problems, told I was hyperactive, put on AMPHETAMINES to discourage my natural instincts (all before I was a teen); then transferred to an all boys school. 90% male teachers. They cured hyperactivity with mandatory sports. They cured academic problems with mandatory study time that was observed by a male teacher. I went from C and D to A and B. Nothing else changed.

ErikJar · 2021-05-15T09:47:40+00:00

Pilot: I can't control the plane! We're going into a tail spin!

Passenger: No problem. Failure is part of growth.

Seriously:

Most of the "toxic" comments are usually ironic or sardonic in nature. Personally, I prefer a response like that to some touchy-feely banality. "If there's anything I can do, just ask" is appreciated, though.

True story: During the Falklands war, some British soldiers were pinned down. A shell hit them, and the corporal yelled "I've lost my leg". A man some distance behind him replied "No, you haven't, corp. It's back here with me". I don't think "it's OK to feel bad sometimes" would've been any more sensitive.

While men can definitely overdo the whole stoicism thing, it's also very easy to tip over and overdo the emotional thing. It's allowed to express emotion differently and less overtly than most women, as long as you don't become callous.

ZorbaTHut · 2021-05-15T02:55:01+00:00

Failure is not an option. It is mandatory. The option is whether or not to let failure be the last thing you do.

Quix_Nix · 2021-05-15T08:38:49+00:00

This is gonna appear as pertensious. Don't show it to people who aren't part of liberal intelligensia or elite classes.

Title	Males are asked to be above normal emotions. Here are alternatives when discussing hurdles.
Author	Ichtaca_nom
Upvotes	237
Comments	20
Date	May 14, 2021 6:54 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/ncg1l2/males_are_asked_to_be_above_normal_emotions_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/males-are-asked-to-be-above-normal-emotions-here.1061335 https://theredarchive.com/post/1061335

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