I live in Denmark, a country well-known for its high taxes, generous welfare system and organized labor market. I think its great that we have laws and collective agreements that help out families, and especially single moms and dads. For example many workers in Denmark, have the opportunity to take the first 2 days off work if your child is sick, and even more days if your child is hospitalized. Daycare is subsided depending on your income and you of cause have about a year of maternity leave. I feel like this system especially helps out single providers. This system ensures that a mother(or father) can leave an abusive partner knowing that the welfare state will help them with the basics, or should a parent become a widow or widower, there is a safety net that will catch them.

But then there is the phenomenon of voluntary single mothers... AFAIK they receive the same benefits as involuntary single mothers/fathers in my country. In 2018 about 1 in 50 newborn baby was the result of state funded insemination of single women. So its still fairly rare, but its growing, and its a 27% increase since 2011.

I cant help but feel that voluntary single mothers are exploiting a system that wasnt intended for them, usually a middle to upper middle class well educated woman. A system has high support in the population because we all pay into it, but we also receive a lot of benefits or at least we feel secure that the system is there to help us if something bad were to happen.

But imagine being a single man in this society, he wants kids but has never found the right partner. His female coworker is in a similar situation, but decides to become a single mother. The man will de facto become the co-provide for his coworkers child. He will have to pickup the slack when his coworker gets a day off to take care of her sick child, he's labor and taxes will pay for her maternity leave and her child's education. But he will never get to experience the joy of parenthood and no grandchild will visit him in his old age. He might wonder if single mothers didnt get so much help from the government and labor market, one of them might have decided to start a family with him...

On the other hand I also have a gut feeling that this is a very petty view point. Would the world be a better place if either person never became a parent? Would I want to live in a society where government official would investigate peoples privat lives, in order to decide if they where to receive government help or not? Do I like the idea of women being in any way, coerced into marrying men? Of cause not! But if voluntary single motherhood became much more common, I seriously worry about the social cohesion of the welfare society which I whole heartily support.

There is this article from the Economist, where they argue that there is a link between polygami and civil war, because this produces so many desperate single men. I feel like this might also apply to this situation:

https://www.economist.com/christmas-specials/2017/12/19/the-link-between-polygamy-and-war

What are your thoughts on voluntary single mothers in a welfare state?