Why singling out men only as being the bad ones ?!

Leinadro · 2020-12-02T17:17:49+00:00

To me the bigger question, and this is something feminists themselves can actually work on instead of just blaming men, is why do feminists only want to have conversations about terrible men.

Think about it like this.

How many feminist think pieces have been written about masculinity using Donald Trump ( or some random guy that committed a crime against a woman) as a jumping point?

How many feminist think pieces have been written about masculinity using Daryl Davis (or some random non feminist guy that did ANYTHING positive) as a jumping point?

Feminists want men to create "...an environment where the bad ones can't exist let alone thrive" but time and time again they almost exclusively talk about the bad ones. I think a major reason they men try to show they are the good ones is because feminism, subconsciously or not, is so fixated on the bad ones that there is this idea that good men are extremely rare.

In short they are getting feedback based on their own conversations about men but somehow want men to fulfill their desires for them. They want to be able to just complain about the bad men while the good ones just toil away silently making the world safe for women.

Wh1teshyguy · 2020-12-02T16:54:35+00:00

And like a lot of modern feminist talk this also has a hint of sexism against women by implying that only men can fix these things. I'm no more able to police other men than any women is, so they should stop trying to place extra burden on us for things that aren't even our fault.

Leinadro · 2020-12-02T17:19:28+00:00

Why only men have the responsibility to create a safe environment ? i

Collective responsibility. Which for some reason is only ever cast on men. Unless someone can think of a persistent example of feminists saying women are collectively responsible for something.

Skirt_Douglas · 2020-12-02T18:47:07+00:00

In other words, you should be more concerned with building utopia for women than un-assassinating your character.

So what exactly will “men calling out men” do for domestic violence? How are we supposed to “build a space where these things can’t happen” in another person’s home?

One of the stupidest beliefs of feminists cling to is the idea that we [men] are in control. No one, I repeat, NO ONE, is in control of where this world is going. Conspiracy theorists like to believe in one hegemonic power center who is in control over everything, like the Illuminati, or patriarchy, because it makes you feel like YOU, the conspiracy theorist, are in control. If you just get rid of that hegemonic overlord, you can finally be free of whatever it you want to be free of. It feels good to tell yourself this, like a hero against the dark lord, the happily-ever-after is just around the corner, as soon as we defeat the dark lord.

No amount of indoctrination, or calling out is going to stop crimes from happening. Every time a cop arrests someone, they are calling them out, they are making the space less safe for criminals, and yet there is still crime.

Managing one’s behavior is all any individual can promise. Man A has absolutely no control over man B, especially behind closed doors.

EpsilonFactor633 · 2020-12-02T17:44:43+00:00

My main problem is that people who say things like this are all demand and take but offer nothing in return; no willingness to return the favor or even gratitude or respect. The person who posted this tweet probably would never do anything that helped anyone but themselves. I also would not be surprised in the least if the person who posted this tweet later did something like share an article about how worthless men are and was like *OMG! Sis, THIS!!!!*

RockmanXX · 2020-12-02T18:23:11+00:00

How about Feminists create an environment where Good Men are allowed to thrive?

BloomingBrains · 2020-12-02T19:55:52+00:00

Feminism: "All men are misogynistic potential rapists!"

Man: "Well, I'M not..."

Feminism: "See! That's exactly what a potential rapist would say!"

I wonder how hard they would be crying if the roles were reversed. Lets say, for instance, that r/MGTOW or r/theredpill became the dominant ideology and there was a widely believed stereotype that all women are hypergamous gold-diggers (AWALT), and then any time a woman pointed out that she doesn't act that way, people pilloried her for it? They'd be pissed, and rightfully so. It's funny how some people are only cable of recognizing bigotry when its their group being attacked.

When I was much younger I had this profound, crippling insecurity of being seen as creepy that was shredding my self-esteem. It's not something that ever goes away completely but I'm a lot better at dealing with it, now. Anyway, I remember stupidly asking women for advice on the internet about how to act so that I don't accidentally creep them out. I was immediately blasted with comments like "Wow you must really be a fucking creeper if you need to ask something like that." I even got called "Elliot Rodger" when all I did was innocently ask what I can do to not make women uncomfortable. Thankfully, a few women were rational and commented that they appreciated my concern and didn't think I was doing anything wrong.

Still, this demonstrates that most people believe "If you're a good man, then you should have no problems getting a girl" which, needless to say, so far removed from reality that it's not even possible to have a rational discussion with these people. It's like they think women are magically incapable of poor judgement.

"Call out other bad men" yeah, we DO that. For example, calling out how, on dating apps, men in the upper margins of the looks department can get away with treating women like shit. But apparently that doesn't count, since it would seem to imply that some women have bad judgement. But since women are infallible, we can't have that, so lets just ignore that point and call anyone who criticizes hookup culture an angry incel.

There is nothing more infantilizing and sexist to me than saying that women are incapable of being responsible adults. If you believe women are just as intelligent as men, then you should have no issues telling them that they need to exercise better judgement. If they don't like creepy/misogynistic behavior, they could easily get rid of it by not rewarding men who do those behaviors with sex since they're the sexual selectors of our species. End of story.

CaptSnap · 2020-12-03T06:38:35+00:00

Too many men are concerned with being seen as "one of the good ones" rather than creating an environment where the bad ones can't exist let alone thrive.

I tell you what I like about this... the outright assumption that if you dont adhere to the dogma youre a "bad one." Theres no need to be specific, ideological followers dont really need the details...just point out the off-tribe to hate. Race and gender are easy peasy, any fucking idiot can spot them. Today its men. Fantastic.

Then as a good one, its not enough to just allow the nonbelievers peace. Nay, You must create hostility. The off tribe is too bad to co-exist. They are so bad that we are morally required to take action. They are intolerant and the tolerant cant tolerate them.

Then further on top of all that, you must create derision for others...on their behalf. If you arent creating hostility then youre just as bad as the baddies!

And this is the path of the self-righteous. And its as old as fucking time.

Compare (emphasis mine):

“Of course the people don’t want war. But after all, it’s the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it’s always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it’s a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger.”

The-Author · 2020-12-02T17:28:25+00:00

Creating an environment where the "bad ones" can't exist let alone thrive, regardless as to which group they are a part of is pretty much impossible. At least not without creating an authoritarian police state anyway.

As they will usually either go somewhere else, create their own space in which they can exist or alter their behavior to make them look superficially like one of the good ones and thus make them harder to detect.

Apprehensive_Ad1248 · 2020-12-02T15:48:29+00:00

Maybe we shouldn't stop people from existing... You know, because that's called murder and it's bad.

Blauwpetje · 2020-12-03T08:20:36+00:00

The whole assumption is dubious. 'Creating an environment where the bad ones can't exist let alone thrive' sounds a lot like creating a safe space where everything that could be interpreted as oppressive is banned. A totalitarian Brave New World or 1984. Long live men who don't want to help to create that.

2020-12-10T13:46:14+00:00

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