I wish I could be a woman. Especially an attractive, rich woman with a Western upbringing

HeForeverBleeds · 2020-08-17T04:10:24+00:00

I don't hate being a man, I hate the way society treats men. But as a detransitioner, I get where you're coming from. I spent most of my life literally wishing I had been born a girl, for various reasons

It started with sexual abuse when I was very young, by people who specifically targetted boys and made me realize that if I had been born a girl they wouldn't have even been interested in me. Obviously, not that girls aren't also abused, but in my particular circumstance it was very unsafe to be a boy

This was emphasized even more when any time I told someone about what was going on, I got various forms of no shit given. "Boys can't be forced into sex", "why would you complain about getting laid by a hot older woman?", things girls are never told when they're raped by men. It extended into adulthood, being sexually harassed by a supervisor (who was known for doing things like this to the young men working there), then being told she just liked to "mess around" and that I shouldn't make a big deal out of it

Doesn't help that I've never been "butch", to say the least. And while being a "petite", soft-featured, late-bloomer who likes long hair and nail polish is seen as cute in girls, as a boy it's seen as quite shameful

I know that last one is a minor issue compared with the more serious ones men and boys go through. But in my experience, it was just the cherry on top of an already unfortunate situation. However, I no longer wish I had been born a girl. I just wish I had been born in a society where male victims were given more support and where men are given the same freedoms of expression that women are

Threwaway42 · 2020-08-17T14:56:49+00:00

I mean I would say rich men and women in the west don't really have any oppression and money is the ultimate privilege ahead of race, sexuality, cis/trans, and even gender.

throwra_coolname209 · 2020-08-17T05:56:08+00:00

Don't get me wrong, I understand where you are coming from, but this strikes me as a very unhealthy view of it all.

I've had gender dysphoria in my life where I wish that I had been born a woman. I see tons of things that women do and communities they are a part of and they just feel right to me in a way being male does not.

But part of wanting equality also means recognizing that one group has no problems while the other group only suffers. Women have a LOT of issues they deal with, and being a woman wouldn't make your life intrinsically better by default. Your problems now would just be replaced with other issues - though often these are different than ones that face men (there's some overlap).

I get it though. It can really feel like one set of problems feels a lot more personally suited to you than others. I look at things like slut shaming and think to myself... would I trade being slut shamed for being able to wear dresses and nail polish without being brutally shamed for it? I'd definitely take that trade. I think that gives a lot of bias for queer or trans-questioning people (if that describes you, at least) - we see a groups problems as being easier to deal with because we desperately want to experience things outside of our currently accepted social role.

I'm not sure where to offer you advice but I strongly recommend talking to unbiased women (meaning, someone who is willing to see that men face their own set of issues without turning the conversation against your feelings) or honestly, a therapist. They are doing their job well if they are being unbiased and they are a good resource to bounce these kinds of feelings and desires off of so they can help you explore more avenues you hadn't considered prior.

liltotto · 2020-08-18T08:58:04+00:00

Most women would off themselves if they lived the life of an unwanted male.

DucDeWellington · 2020-08-17T07:33:00+00:00

women have societal privilege but men have biological privilege. our bodies are pure freedom, we have the potential to do whatever we want and our bodies are perfect tools for allowing that. Everything about nature just holds women back. They're weak, they have to wear bras, they bleed every month, they age like shit, they have wide hips and narrow shoulders, they cant pee standing up.

Use your body as it was intended and you'll appreciate what you were given.

HumanSpinach2 · 2020-08-18T02:47:09+00:00

You're clearly going through some shit and I feel for you, and I also sometimes wish I could be a woman, but the idea that women don't truly suffer is ridiculous.

TC1851 · 2020-08-17T07:26:04+00:00

I know how you feel. I've gone through some pretty bad gender dysphoria, even considered transitioning but decided to shelve the idea after seeing the rise of transphobia and realising that it would essentially be social suicide. Now I just get by on being a cis man but deep down a part of me still wishes to be a woman. I feel pretty isolated being a man who doesn't really fit in to standard 'traditional' masculinity.

But an important thing that I realised and you should take note of is that the grass will always seem greener. Women don't have it easy, they have their own problems, and that you'd be trading one set of problems for another set of problems.

lorarc · 2020-08-17T13:23:55+00:00

A woman or a rich woman in western world? Why not a rich man in western world? You seem to be confusing class and gender here.

Title	I wish I could be a woman. Especially an attractive, rich woman with a Western upbringing
Author	TC1851
Upvotes	20
Comments	32
Date	August 17, 2020 3:42 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/ib6t2m/i_wish_i_could_be_a_woman_especially_an/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/i-wish-i-could-be-a-woman-especially-an-attractive.1062960 https://theredarchive.com/post/1062960

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