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The Gabby Petito (may she rest in beautiful peace) case has struck a chord with women everywhere who are slowly waking up to how abusive men can come across as affable nice guys, and that abuse isn't him standing over you with his fists - but rather a slow and gradual process that you are unaware that you are caught in. It is a collection of emotional, psychological tactics that are designed to break your spirit.

A few tips for anyone in a situation similar to Gabby's.

• Make duplicate sets of your car keys and house keys so you will always have access. Hide them in various places in your home, and provide copies to a few people you trust, such as neighbors or close friends. If possible, ask someone trusted to care for an envelope containing the keys, some cash, and copies of important documents.
• Keep an overnight bag either in your car or with friends. Include at least one outfit for yourself and your kids, if applicable. If your kids usually bring lunch to school, keep an extra empty lunch box in there with a few non-perishable snacks and some empty ziplock baggies. (Can't even count how many times we made sack lunches using a motel's continental breakfast bar. Bagels can become sandwiches, etc.)
• Keep your prescriptions secured. In a locked safe, if necessary, so that your abuser can't hide them, withhold them, destroy them, tamper with them, or consume them.
• Start establishing safe places your abuser is not aware of. Consider getting a membership to Planet Fitness/Anytime Fitness or another low-cost membership only facility with multiple locations and extended hours (that the abuser is not aware of). It's a relief to know you'll always have a safe place to use the bathroom, charge your phone, even take a shower.
• Consider downloading an app that will record all your calls, inbound and outbound, automatically. "Save" any threatening calls by uploading them to a place your abuser cannot access.
• Save threatening texts. If you are an Android user, the messaging app Textra allows you to save your conversations by emailing you a pdf. Timestamps and all. There are probably other good apps, but that's the one I used.
• If you drink alcohol, make a pact to yourself to quit until you are safe. You might need to leave unexpectedly in the middle of the night. You might need your balance and coordination to fend off an attack. And you most definitely need your attention to detail and memory so your abuser doesn't try to gaslight you about what is happening.

These next two are difficult to say, but they can be critical, especially if your abuser has access to firearms.

• Reach out to a few trusted neighbors, and briefly explain your situation. Ask them to call the police and send them to your address if they hear anything that sounds like a gunshot. Don't pause to wonder if it was fireworks or a car backfiring. Don't pause to wonder if it was a door slamming. Just send help. (My local police assured me that they would rather arrive to a false alarm than the alternative. Your mileage may vary.)
• If you have kids who are of age and aware of the situation, practice alternate exit strategies. If your abuser has cornered you by the back door, the kids should sneak out the front door. If you are in a 2-story home, hide fire escape ladders in upstairs rooms. Teach the kids how and when to use them. Practice, even.
• Set up a code word with the kids. When they hear you say the code word, they need to sneak out and alert a safe neighbor. They only need to use this sentence: "My [mom] used the code word, so please help me call 911 right now."

Perhaps most importantly, do not underestimate what your abuser is capable of. Desperate people do things that others would swear under oath is not in their character. Do not wait until your abuser has a gun to your head or to your child's head to admit to yourself and others that there is a problem.

You know your situation best. Not all of these strategies will be a good fit for your situation, but each one has the potential to save lives. Don't give up hope. Don't stop trying. You can overcome seemingly impossible situations. You can have a good life on the other side. Just gotta get through it to get to it.

Anyone with additional tips, strategies, and resources, feel free to add them below.