What true sexual liberation actually is

shoesfromparis135 · 2021-10-14T11:13:16+00:00

Hard agree. I’m so sick of living in a culture that tells me I’m a prude for not wanting to dress up in a leather bikini, get spanked with a cane, and choked out by some guy I just met 5 minutes ago. Please explain to me how any of the above isn’t performative, self-harming crap designed for the male gaze?

Why am I a prude for wanting to make love to a man who knows how to give me multiple orgasms?

Why am I prude because I want to ENJOY sex with someone I love instead of fuck multiple people and risk STDs?

Why am I a prude because I don’t want to get slapped around and bruised and beaten up in bed?

Why is is such a bad thing that I don’t want sex to be painful or crazy? What’s wrong with forming an emotional connection with someone before you take your clothes off? What happened to the slow, sweet, teasing art of seduction? What happened to stolen kisses and passionate embraces? Why happened to candles and rose petals? Dinner and dancing? Amorous whispers exchanged late into the night?

Why is this so-called “sexual liberation” full of pain and degradation at the expense of romance?

thewetdog_ · 2021-10-14T11:49:25+00:00

To me, sexual liberation is not needing to have sex or perform sexuality to have a roof over my head and food on the table.

This is peak sexual liberation.

It’s not having to legalize a sexual relationship with a man through marriage in order to live decently in society. It’s being able to be celibate if i choose to and that doesn’t mean I’m shamed, belittled, kicked out of my house.

It’s basically not having sex if I don’t want to. Not reproducing if I don’t want to. Things like this.

Being literally liberated from sex and sexual peonage/servitude as women have been bound for thousands of years.

BelleCervelle · 2021-10-14T11:01:10+00:00

There’s a big difference between true sexual liberation, and sexual manipulation/coercion disguised as “sexual liberation.”

It’s about time the mask for the toxic propaganda finally drops.

whydenny · 2021-10-14T14:42:01+00:00

Why is nobody pushing men to be more sexually liberated and let us peg them?

The_Nobody_Diaries · 2021-10-14T14:38:44+00:00

For me, sexual liberation is about being able to say no at any stage of sex. We shouldn't be punished or mocked just because we don't want to. Sex isn't a service we provide to people who date us.

SkiesEclipse · 2021-10-14T15:42:41+00:00

Sexual liberation is having power and control in your sexuality. That includes saying “no” and meaning it. I was horrified when a bunch of women on a discord I’m on said that they felt they HAD to kiss or have sex on the first date in order to keep a guy they like interested. There’s nothing liberating about doing something you don’t want to for male attention.

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-10-14T15:32:59+00:00

Even not having sex is liberating if that's what I want.

thatjimmylove · 2021-10-14T15:57:12+00:00

Sex has become largely performative and what I really envy is not the fake power exchanges but the genuine intimacy some partners have and a mutual pursuit of pleasure. Being 'kinky' does not make you sexually advanced or free you are absolutely right. Art of seduction and sensation are nearly lost behind all of that bs.

UnevenHanded · 2021-10-14T19:07:32+00:00

Saying "no" is still fucking revolutionary. We are in no way past that no matter how much people (men, basically) want to gloss over it and pretend like oh, everybody gets it now, we all know consent is important. NO. We're still at that stage. We're still at the point where coercion, in all its forms, is common.

Anyone who tells women what sexual liberation "should" be like for them should literally go fuck themselves, because they're obviously incapable of mature, consensual sex. Ugh.

theflameinthewind · 2021-10-14T12:45:38+00:00

I've read that in monogamous animal species, the offspring are underdeveloped at birth. Since females are at more risk biologically regarding the consequences of sex - pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding and the like, they tend to be picky about their partners and choose one who is more likely to stay around. This could be why ONS and FWB doesn't appeal to most women.

KindredMaximus · 2021-10-15T01:32:53+00:00

People who don't feel good about themselves constantly strive to drag others into their way off life, in order to give it legitimacy. If others are doing it - it must be OK, right? It's the same for every addiction.

I found out very early, that indiscriminate sex wasn't worth it for the feelings I felt the next day and also the risk. I've been celibate for long stretches of my life. This latest one, has lasted 3 years. Prior to that I've gone 6 years. When I'm in a relationship, then I'm "sexually liberated" and I love sex, a LOT. Love elevates it to an expression of love, desire and genuine delight in another person both physically and mentally.

I just don't see the value in meaningless sex - to me, any animal can do that - it's hardly an achievement. Learning, studying, writing are all things other animals can't do and this sets us apart. Why would I want to put myself on the same level as any animal or insect, when I can achieve so much more? And I'm not left with DREAD in the morning.

I don't understand men or women who can put their most valuable asset - the vehicle that allows their brain consciousness and keeps it alive - into such physical and emotional peril.
Some people vet the people they let into their bodies less than the people they would allow through their front door. The logic escapes me.

FI-REfox · 2021-10-15T01:48:01+00:00

Beautiful sentiment, thank you for reposting.

The most liberating thing you can ever say in a sexual context is "No" when refusing to do something you don't want to do. Think back to all the times where you went against that feeling in the pit of stomach telling you that you didn't want this, that it was something that would haunt you later and you KNEW, but you succumbed to the pressure of the moment -- not wanting to disappoint your partner, not wanting to be seen as a "prude" or "inexperienced", not wanting to have "missed out" on these experiences everyone else seemed to be having.

Think back to how you would have felt if you'd had the confidence to say "No" like you really wanted to in that moment. Isn't that a magnificent, empowering feeling?? You have this power! You are the boss of your own body.

MY BODY, MY CHOICE. This is literally the most powerful thing a women can say, whether you are choosing to say Yes or No. YOU choose, and anyone disagreeing/shaming/guilting is violating your right to your bodily choice. Anyone who does this to you is POS whose opinion does not matter at all and you do not need to spend one minute caring about their negative response.

lolmemberberries · 2021-10-14T22:20:57+00:00

If the behavior that was marketed as liberation was truly liberation, men would be against it.

Donttellmehow2feel · 2021-10-14T13:48:03+00:00

Western society is doomed.

ashb1218 · 2021-10-15T01:04:50+00:00

I dated a man who wanted to help “sexually liberate me”. I participated in BDSM, never again. I saw it was about complete power over me and my body, on his terms. I saw unhealed trauma and his mommy issues everywhere. I will never partake in any kind of hardcore bdsm again. Men who pretend to be Doms are really insecure scrotes.

mooo544 · 2021-10-14T16:35:41+00:00

I have to comment on this because even though I've been a follower of FDS and it's guidelines for the better part of a year, I'm still conflicted about sex and it's boundaries most of the time. I haven't had sex with anyone yet and I sometimes feel a little shame not just from myself but also from my friends who love to over share their sex stories with me.

Not only is it uncomfortable but I also feel judged like they look down on me somewhat for being a year older that them but still not sexually experienced. It even got to a point of making a sex list escapade for a hot girl summer after I graduate uni. I know this is a no brainer and that no one dictates what to do regarding a very intimate experience but sometimes it gets disheartening!

Thanks for posting this! I actually screenshotted it and will be saving it as a reminder for when I'm feeling down 🙏🏻

haecceitarily · 2021-10-14T17:40:16+00:00

I fell HARD into this trap in my 30s and early 40s. It sounds great, right? Make your own decisions and experience things outside the norm (that in itself being a false narrative). I thought I was somehow enlightened. I most certainly was not. This narrative, although begun in feminist circles, had been co-opted by men to make women feel like they're missing out or not realising their full sexual potential by not engaging in the activities which overall benefit men.

For the most part feminist circles have yet to catch up with this switcharoo as well which only makes things worse.

thepsychopathhunter · 2021-10-14T14:04:31+00:00

Beautifully said. Love the puppers at the end! :)

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