Terrified my GF will "do something"

Night-Sky-Rebel · 2021-11-04T06:37:58+00:00

Hey mate, what I did with my last girlfriend was I had weekly counselling calls as I was seeing her. That'll help you if you can afford it and you can put it into practice because you can't stay in this fear forever or else you'll never be able to have a successful relationship. Counselling is a good way to get out of the RP. The fact that she doesn't hide her guy friends from you is a really great sign.

-Know that she chose you

-Be curious and not furious, don't accuse her of anything or you'll push her away

-Just because it feels real doesn't mean it's true

-Let her know it has nothing to do with her, because it really doesn't, you've probably been hurt in the past which led you to the RP and it really warped your view of women.

lilycamilly · 2021-11-04T13:27:30+00:00

Therapy therapy therapy. I'm not bullshitting you, it can help a lot.

camellight123 · 2021-11-04T08:00:05+00:00

My bf was like you at the beginning, jealous but in a toxic way (angry, upset,paranoid). He is still jealous, but he isn't toxic about it now, but it took 2 years, and it was very hard on me too, since even a hug goodbye can become suspect to a toxicity jealous bf.

There is no easy way, but the fact that you recognize you are the one with a problem and not her is the fundamental thing to start from. It will be hard for both you and her, but hopefully if you give her enough other reasons to love you, she will do her best to help and stick by you, so that you can work on it and reach a more healthy way to process jealousy.

Snoo52682 · 2021-11-04T11:18:42+00:00

Look up how to handle intrusive anxious thoughts. This is no different from any other phobia.

CuthbertAndEphraim · 2021-11-04T16:12:08+00:00

Tell her everything and trust that whatever happens, it'll be for the best. If she laughs or leaves you, you weren't meant to be. If she comforts you, then you've met a good one.

Also, if she has any insecurities herself (as she no doubt has), always speak to her with a mind to comforting her and accompanying her through those struggles, and if need be bearing them for her. Even if you get nothing back from her, which I think is the root fear of a lot of redpill people, you will have still gained the virtue of patience and of natural love. In other words, there is no way you can lose doing that.

vcreativ · 2021-11-04T16:44:38+00:00

Hey folks any tips on mentally calming the fears the redpill has brought?

Not to be derivative or anything, but yeah, therapy. Not to say that everyone who has encountered RP needs it, but an anxiety/panic attack is a pretty clear signal that something's in pretty bad shape internally. You wouldn't heal out a broken ankle by yourself, so you shouldn't do it with you mind either.

Other than that, journal your thoughts and talk to people you trust. It sounds like she already knows anyway so I'd just try her. To keep it bottled up is acting like a pressure cooker on the existing issue. The best possible thing you can do is to find ways to share it openly. Once it's out in the open it loses a lot of its sting.

The reason a therapist is good in these scenarios is (a) he's a professional, and (b) you can be open way beyond what you could expect normal people to handle without it affecting your day-to-day at all.

A lot of these things can be resolved (or at least alleviated) by understanding the underlying issue, but this takes concentrated reflection and time. What I mean by this is, really ask yourself (a) what specifically is hurting, and (b) why it hurts.

Be as specific as you can be and write it down.

No clue if this is helpful to you, but all the best.

hagakurejunkie · 2021-11-13T01:57:45+00:00

Seek professional help. You have abandonment issues.

RedPillerRecover · 2021-11-13T09:03:40+00:00

I experienced the exact same thing after taking the red pill.. it still affects me today. They tell you over and over about hypergamy and female nature. I want to be unafraid of this. But my fear has led me to emotionally abusing my partner. I feel horrible about it and I want it to stop. When I get triggered it’s so hard to stop.

juliuspepperwoodchi · 2021-11-04T10:30:35+00:00

That sounds like a lot of suffering man. Maybe you’re be better off single or with a girl that doesn’t have so many guy friends.

Title	Terrified my GF will "do something"
Author	Mundane_Disk_6796
Upvotes	19
Comments	21
Date	November 4, 2021 5:53 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/qme28j/terrified_my_gf_will_do_something/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/terrified-my-gf-will-do-something.1080089 https://theredarchive.com/post/1080089

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