So currently I have a custody agreement where the three kids are with me most of the time, the ex has every other weekend, and 2 weeks during the summer.

Now the ex is asking mid-week dinner visits, school holidays, and in-service days. (Truthfully most of which I've been giving her, as it is. To the point where I get almost none of them). She also wants to add mid-week overnights and 50/50 custody during the summer.

So my ex has had multiple mental issues in the past, and even I'll admit she's been doing okay for the past year or so. I still get told by my kids that she isn't always together and gets confused.. But it's not terrible, or as often. The older two (11, and 16) barely want to go there as it is now, and mainly only go because of how intimidating and manipulative she is. And they don't want to leave the youngest 9 their by herself for long with their mom. Granted the 9 year old has been doing 1 overnight/dinner during the week for the past month or so.

Regardless of all of it, I'm a bit concerned of the kids going over more. As it is the oldest told me the other day she wants to tell her mom after thanksgiving she won't be going over as much. The ex is working 4 hours 5 days a week, and sometimes that's too much.

Another part of this, is the ex has been stonewalling me on getting other parts of the divorce done. Between health issues/hospitalizations, her not being able to handle jobs/ so she can get her own insurance.. Covid... Lawyers dying.. (And truthfully not all of this is her fault) But it's been almost 5 years. Only thing left is the house (which I've been paying mortgage, plus I'm paying all the credit debt she left), and her student loans, and the "priority" even by her lawyer is to "fix" the custody.

Which at this point is bullying the older two into having midweek overnights/dinner with her, and her having them 50/50 over the summer (the last two summers I've told her she could have them up to 4 weeks (not straight through, but broken up over the summer) So the kids wouldn't be stuck just at my house with covid etc.. Granted she didn't really take all of the time either.

In alot of ways I'm not too upset about all of it, but it becomes a question of what to do. What to say I'm okay with, and what not.. Let alone what to say with/to the kids etc.. In any case I'm not mentioning any of this to the kids, as it's just her legal response..etc.(And I haven't agreed to anything). As my older two will just get upset, and they super freak out/panic about alot of dealings with her (almost like PTSD). And rushing with any response isn't a good option, the other side of things is, as my counselor has mentioned to me.

I for the most part with my ex, just have given her most of what she wanted.. anything out of the house just take it and get out. As long as I /the kids don't need it. But the other side of that is alot of the decor of the house is gone, most valuable things etc.. With little to no compensation to me (her only response is I get to live with the kids, and I have the house). Which I don't because she still hasn't signed it over, even after I put 20K towards her credit debts, plus student loans) and we only had 5K in equity in the house at the time..