Quick field report from last night. My boyfriend was working late on a project last night. I had spent too much time on Twitter during the day, and so I showed up at his place earlier feeling anxious and worried about the present state of the world. He reminds me often when he sees me on my phone to “get off Twitter,” and he’s not wrong. Anyway, I had packed something very sexy to wear to bed (stretchy fishnet “shirt” and fishnet garters) in the hopes that he would take the opportunity to be more dominant than usual with me.

I was wearing the gear under my loungewear, waiting for an opportunity to tease him with it since we usually watch a movie and cuddle/rile each other up before going to bed. But between the annoyance of making dinner together in his tiny kitchen (we’re both students, my kitchen is worse), him catching up with his friends on Discord while he waited for his 3D printer to finish printing, and me feeling generally stressed about my grad research project while itching because the fishnets were rubbing uncomfortably against my clothes…ohhhhh my God ladies, I just was ready to climb into bed without the gear and sleep. Probably just my hormones tbh.

But instead I STFU and watched the printing with my boyfriend, and we laughed at dumb YouTube videos together after he logged off of Discord. His project was a success, and eventually we went to bed. I revealed what I was wearing while he was brushing his teeth, and then strolled to the bedroom, getting excited about what would ensue.

It was very hot, he got me to finish in a new position for the first time, and I got him to finish much quicker than he usually does by egging him on to keep dominating me while we were having sex. For example, he pinned my arms right above my head (yum!) and informed me that I wasn’t allowed to touch him. I kept struggling playfully against his strength and asking him what he would do to me if I kept trying/begging to touch him. You can probably guess how a masculine man would respond to that. And yes, he wanted me to wear my gear the whole time until we were done.

The RPW lesson here:A good relationship is built back up in the bedroom. Sure, sex won’t fix major compatibility issues between you or make his red flags disappear; it goes without saying that you shouldn’t be doing even a fraction of this stuff with a bad guy. But if one or both of you feel cranky or anxious or whatever that day, that’s a great opportunity for a little extra spice! Don’t bail because you had a bad day or you’re annoyed with him. Sex is your realm, he needs you to take good care of him there!

(Edited for a little more NSFW detail; mods let me know if I went too far. I think it’s pretty clean, but I tagged it NSFW just in case!)