It's rarely about the child(ren)

25_years · 2021-11-29T17:42:13+00:00

You're preaching to the preachers, brother.

thefudmaster · 2021-11-29T18:09:29+00:00

Family law throughout the world needs overall reform. In my opinion, divorce/custody cases should not be overseen by judges, but by forced arbitration with a neutral third party. Parties attempting to delay the process should be punished/fined/sanctioned accordingly.

Custody needs to start with a rebuttable presumption of 50/50 shared parenting regardless of either parent's wishes. I have week on/week off custody of my children, and they are all thriving in school, athletics, and in their social lives. Primary custody should only be given to a parent due to extreme circumstances (DV, child abuse/neglect, etc.)
Alimony needs to be completely abolished as it is an archaic method a court will assign to the payor.
Child support should only be related to agreed on expenses. Each parent would be required to show the other parent what they have made for the year. A percentage assigned to each parent for agreed upon expenses, for example: Parent A makes $80,000 per year and Parent B makes $20,000 per year. This would mean that Parent A is required to pay 80% of an agreed upon expense, while Parent B would be required to pay 20%.
Division of assets would always be 50% of the assets/debts accrued within the marriage.

I don't see the system changing for a very long time, if ever. There is too much money to be made through the family court system, and the current system utilizes child support collected to get reimbursed through Title IV-D of the SSA. The best way to combat this system is not to play. That being said, I am not a bitter person complaining about this system. I have enjoyed being single exponentially more than I have ever been with a partner. However, I absolutely love being a father to my children.

NohoTwoPointOh · 2021-11-29T17:54:18+00:00

The people involved (lawyers, mediators, judges, parents) would make decisions based on what is fair and just

This goes way higher than this. Are you familiar with Title IV-D?

ProchinaMarxist · 2021-11-29T20:20:23+00:00

It has always being about money, capitlaism bleeds the citizens dry anyway it can, jurisprudence is a farce

InAJam_SoS · 2021-11-29T22:26:59+00:00

"Best interest of the child" is a fluffy, feel-good saying (lie) that attorneys, judges, and the family law system hides behind. You're right it's absolutely not about the children. It's a tough system that abuse parents (mostly fathers) and children. What's amazing is the fact that we all know this and there isn't any cohesive group, only splintered factions, to try to do anything about it. Of course, we are all broke, broken, and tired while having to be the worker bees and ATM machines that we are treated and viewed as. There needs to be one place everyone gets together to form coalition to bring sunlight in to the courtroom and gives the public a view of how this system abuses parents and destroys children.

InAJam_SoS · 2021-11-29T22:30:27+00:00

If you're interested in the reason why here you go: Title IV D - Here's the How and Why

Share this with as many as you can.

jimsmythee · 2021-11-30T13:49:43+00:00

It's true. I've seen so many families go bankrupt on both sides in order to "fight the good fight".

It's horrible to see how the courts pit one parent against another, and forcing the higher-wage-earner to foot the legal bill for both sides. And they keep it going on for years and years until there's nothing left.

It's rarely about the child(ren)

Comments

The Bible

Title	It's rarely about the child(ren)
Author	Mountain-Jackfruit-9
Upvotes	43
Comments	26
Date	November 29, 2021 5:24 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/r50rwj/its_rarely_about_the_children/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/its-rarely-about-the-children.1089690 https://theredarchive.com/post/1089690