What do you do when you want to be with your kids and they want you too

ItsaaMitch · 2021-12-27T16:22:45+00:00

Move back in, if the house is in your name too. Why should she get to have all the time with them? If you guys haven’t gone to court and gotten finances and children settled yet, she can’t stop you from living there.

NOW, on the other hand, be very VERY careful while living there is the general rule of the situation you are in. You might be prone to accusations of assault, domestics, etc. depending on how the relationship with their Mother is. Those will not be good for you or the children, so go into this smart and in control of your feelings. A lot of good info on this sub bud.

awesomeroy · 2021-12-27T19:48:31+00:00

How old are they?

kids are not stupid. show them youre struggling and show them that you can make progress. youre teaching them how to handle big emotions and they will admire you for that. fight through it.

we are men. we solve problems. get a therapist. occupy your time with something you like. work out, cook, - when the time comes, start dating. teach them how to survive a big heartbreak.

it took me 3 years. it took her 60 days. but im dating, im in a single room in someones house too.

you got this man. the kids are the most important thing. dont you dare leave them without a father. you got this.

sicrm · 2021-12-27T17:37:50+00:00

got good advice already.

look up and stick to grey rock as well.

also write out how you ideally want the rest of your life to go. then work on a plan to make it happen.

and have at least one hobby to help keep yourself levelheaded (cooking/going to the gym/jogging, etc.)

RStonePT · 2021-12-28T02:09:11+00:00

Are you their dad or their best friend?

kapriece · 2021-12-28T03:32:56+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through it. You'll get past it and figure things out. The men here have helped me too.

pegleg_legal · 2021-12-28T08:56:57+00:00

It is the obligation of both parents to support the unfettered visitation of the other parent that is agreed or ordered by the court. It always hurts to let them go but feeding into their desire (and yours) to act against the other parent will have long-term consequences to your children and their view of you. Many of the dads here, self included, have gone through the pain of the other parent actively thwarting, blocking and alienating. Don't be that person.

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2021-12-27T18:17:25+00:00

So a few people are suggesting moving back in. I did and I was falsely accused of rape which took 2.5 years to prove my innocence. If you do decide to move back in, you have to audio record every interaction 24/7 to protect against false allegations.

If you do not move back in, you can request increase to your access time. However, from someone in and out of courts for 3 years who spent over $200k in legal fees, my advice for you is: Move On.

The sooner you move on emotionally, the better off you'll be long run. I know this sounds harsh, but now that i'm nearly bankrupt, I've realized I need to deprioritize my kids and prioritize my finances. Kids will get older and come back to you. But if you're a bum on the street, they won't want anything to do with you.

Adventurous-Pause-50 · 2021-12-27T19:44:23+00:00

I understand the pain. I’ve been moved out for a a few months. Best days are hanging out with them and then some heavy sadness hits when they leave. No real advice. Just that you are not alone.

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2021-12-27T20:02:44+00:00

What is your state? Age and gender of kids? Move back in, hire good litigator attorney who practices family law exclusively, run DAR 24/7.

Title	What do you do when you want to be with your kids and they want you too
Author	Flimsy_Ebb_3116
Upvotes	14
Comments	39
Date	December 27, 2021 4:16 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/rpqw3o/what_do_you_do_when_you_want_to_be_with_your_kids/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-do-you-do-when-you-want-to-be-with-your-kids.1090401 https://theredarchive.com/post/1090401

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