48 hours before 23rd anniversary ….bomb

Backyardbaby67 · 2022-01-17T00:32:42+00:00

…Document everything

…Research and consult with the top five divorce lawyers in the area …Once you’ve discussed your case with them, they can’t represent the other party

…Just get your ducks in a row as fast as you can …It sounds like she’ll be spending her time padding up the new guy before she deals with the legalities of separating with you

Least_Winter9632 · 2022-01-16T23:22:26+00:00

Similar situation here; the main thing is know that it will get better with time. I was devastated initially, really threw myself into work. It gets a little better every day now. I also go on long walks.

Sorry to hear it my man, but you WILL survive, and have a better life!

Mississippi39046 · 2022-01-17T02:53:03+00:00

Don’t leave the home as your residence. Take pictures of everything and I agree document everything. You will see somethings that were right in front of you but missed because you still trusted her. In my state kids do get a say about who they want to live with at 12 years old.

AthenasServant · 2022-01-17T04:48:47+00:00

You're not alone, this feels shameful, but the fact of the matter is that it's not and you can only control your own actions. You don't have to feel okay, you will be in the long run though.

One of the things you're doing right is seeking out some support. Sometimes just getting it out there into the universe and out of your head is enough to help you sleep through the night.

The other big thing I can't state enough, the kids, that's all that matters. If their mother is anything like I can imagine, they're going to need you more to compensate for her short cummings.

What I mean by that is not that you need to be super Dad. You do need to be super focused on doing what's right for them though. Don't have emotional reactions and do things you can't easily undue or will regret, because they're usually the one's that pay the toll.

Make sure you look out for yourself. Honestly, I can't believe how hard it was to just take care of myself. Legit, get showered, cleaned up, and etc on a day without my kids and without shit to do. It's okay to have these struggles but I've learned keeping busy helps to avoid these issues.

You can do this!

WartimeDad · 2022-01-17T06:35:54+00:00

My ex did this exact shit and came back from her partying only to claim I was abusive and then filed a restraining order and got me out of house and away from kids. It took an extremely painful year to set that right and with no help from any judge or mediator.

Be very careful. She’s unstable and has a huge advantage in family law and she knows it.

Very little of what she does will matter. Every single thing you do will matter. Document and record with an actual tape recorder. Be very calm, hit record, ask about divorce and custody. Does she have anything that can be used against you? Think hard about this.

She can straight up hit a kid, and judge probably won’t care. But she will tell the judge with no evidence “he fed her breakfast at dinner,” and the judge will be all “he did WHAT? Unacceptable and irresponsible!” It’s that bad.

Get a very aggressive attorney as soon as possible. Never give up fighting for your kids. What you want is to make sure she knows that she will lose because you are organized and unemotionally destroying any argument she can throw at you. You need to break her. Avoid court if possible but don’t fear it. If you fight for your kids, then you won’t regret it after all is said and done, regardless of the outcome.

Exercise and meditate because this is a marathon and not a sprint.

You’re not alone. I’m sorry this is happening to you. Hang in there you will get through and be way happier a couple years down the road.

Jonger1150 · 2022-01-17T15:55:07+00:00

She's living her BEST LIFE!

For a couple weeks.

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2022-01-17T18:28:22+00:00

Checklist: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?t=13374

AffectionateAd6060 · 2022-01-17T03:04:27+00:00

This one sounds like it could be worthy of a private investigator-- she sounds like the type you could catch doing some pretty scandalous / dangerous behavior

Agitated-Fee-6497 · 2022-01-17T10:23:40+00:00

I'm going thru a divorce myself.....wife left for another guy but hid it till the agreement was done. Make sure all your communication is in writing and try to get her to admit to the affair.

Jbr74 · 2022-01-17T14:46:58+00:00

Damn you must be my Oklahoma doppelganger of my 2019 self?

Just gonna let you know it all works out and you will be a lot happier, though it will take you about a year to realize it.

It's ok, you got this.

Title	48 hours before 23rd anniversary ….bomb
Author	sooperunknown7
Upvotes	15
Comments	11
Date	January 16, 2022 10:44 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/s5nrow/48_hours_before_23rd_anniversary_bomb/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/48-hours-before-23rd-anniversary-bomb.1097152 https://theredarchive.com/post/1097152

Comments