Social Anxiety

The_Red_Letters · 2022-01-23T15:20:12+00:00

How old are you?

I used to have social anxiety pretty bad. Part of it was being young and figuring myself out. A bigger part was accepting myself.

Fixing it had nothing to do with the social side of things and everything to do with myself. No amount of putting myself in social situations would have helped.

For me the source of the anxiety was that I saw myself as a deeply flawed person who wasn’t acceptable as who he was. Because I felt that way I was constantly on guard of being found out and exposed for my flaws.

The work of getting over this was long and slow. It involved figuring out why I felt this way about myself and rewriting that history. Reprogramming myself to think of myself as a good person who is acceptable just as I am.

Maybe your case is the same, maybe it’s different. Just sharing my notes.

drcube2000 · 2022-01-23T13:41:45+00:00

How many approaches are you making each day? How many random conversations are you actually striking up with people around you?

I suspect you're not putting in the work here that you think you are. Every interaction feels bigger because it's more stressful, but I'd bet if you actually keep track and look at the numbers you'll see that they're much lower than you want to believe.

Tyred_Biggums · 2022-01-23T17:23:52+00:00

Stats?

Shitty mental models take years to unravel. Consistent discipline is what it takes to get there.

You care that others’ like you. Instead of NGAF.

Rolltide9209 · 2022-01-23T15:03:58+00:00

Check testosterone levels

EasyDaysHardNights · 2022-01-23T15:47:29+00:00

Who the fuck is interested in

I can't seem to change my beliefs about myself

Pointing out the obvious here, you aren't trying to change your beliefs. You're trying to change what others believe about you.

You are stuck in their heads, concerned with what they think about you. Stay out of their heads.

tightsleeves · 2022-01-23T14:00:51+00:00

Buy and read a book called "how to win friends and influence people". The title is that or something close. Thank me later

You could also look at CBD oil to help reduce anxiety as you practice the new skills you learnt in that book.

omured · 2022-01-23T16:02:32+00:00

How old are you?

What have you learn from MRP?

PutABabyInThat · 2022-01-24T03:57:19+00:00

Worrying about what other people think is beginner shit.

Do you OYS? Did you sidebar?

You won't get over this without putting in the work.

The fact that you're here whining about it like a helpless victim shows that you still haven't accepted that fact.

There aren't any cheat codes.

justpickanyusername · 2022-01-24T19:23:18+00:00

When I Say Anything I Feel Guilty

Stoicarus · 2022-01-27T07:45:38+00:00

On a very basic level, social anxiety comes from insecurity. All the techniques you've mentioned (like meditation) focus on being able to quiet the thoughts of insecurity in our minds. However if none of that works, then you actually need to start working on fixing what you're insecure about. So, assess yourself, are you: -Fat/Skinny/Unattractive ? --> Lift and learn to groom yourself, change your wardrobe -Poor/financially insecure? --> See if there's something you can change at your job to raise your salary, position (both?) or start looking for another job -Afraid of female rejection? --> Do number (1) and learn the basics of Game. Then go out and get rejected some more, but please, learn from your mistakes, don't do the same thing over and over. As (1) gets better and you start breaking down how social interactions work, your rejection rate will start to decrease.

I've had social anxiety in the past and while meditation in my case helped a bit, it was only once I started dealing with what made me insecure that it truly started going away.

Finally, if you can't isolate the source of your social anxiety, try psychotherapy.

ChakraSandwich6245 · 2022-01-23T20:36:27+00:00

Tbh u come across weak and pathetic rather than anxious

People who clearly want to spiral downwards do this kind of thing.

You’ll use anything we say to be weak, pathetic and anxious

Ppl who have really solved their anxiety see that ur attitude disables any real problem solving You are a danger to yourself and others with this attitude. Plenty of likeable popular, famous, rich anxious peoples.

It’s not your anxiety it’s your love of death and failure. I’ve lowered myself even giving you this information. This is why ppl don’t want to speak to you. It’s a bad feeling. It’s my instincts telling me ur a drag and a threat to life.

Praexology · 2022-01-23T14:31:54+00:00

Learnt.

Title	Social Anxiety
Author	throwie600
Upvotes	11
Comments	15
Date	January 23, 2022 1:33 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/satqua/social_anxiety/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/social-anxiety.1098023 https://theredarchive.com/post/1098023

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