As a man, I have to be completely self reliant, as well as let other people rely on me as well, and I'm so tired of it.

Maivens · 2022-04-04T20:56:29+00:00

I feel you man, it can be very hard. I personally am not the best person to go into this, since I battle similar demons and haven't found the solution yet, but somehow try to find validation for what you are inside yourself. The more you are helpful to others, the more you give yourself, the more will be asked of you, and everything you don't accomplish will make you look like a failure, even if you did everything else right.

I can't say more then that, it would be empty words. I haven't found how that is done really, at the end of the day I crave validation as much as I ever did. I try to cultivate within me a oasis of strength and willpower, but it's so hard, and from time to time it seems to me like a plain coping, which breaks me the most.

Hope you find strength to push on, seek therapy if you feel the need to, it can really help to just have a platonic therapy - relationship with someone who can hear you out, and sometimes offer solutions.

DecimatingDarkDeceit · 2022-04-04T23:36:55+00:00

What happened to men's families/extended networks? Apparently the society has just abandoned and dumped us off

Dead_Art · 2022-04-04T23:53:32+00:00

Essentially you're describing being a failure in the eyes of others if you fail to live up to their expectations of you. But do they live up to your expectations of them if the same standards are applied?

If the answer is no then you can easily assume that they are projecting their own insecurities onto you, if the answer is yes then they most likely want you to live up to what they see as your potential.

AirSailer · 2022-04-05T01:51:25+00:00

I hope for your sake you never get divorced, because as a man you will be legally required to support other people under the threat of jail if you don't pay an amount they deem is proportional to how successful you are. Additionally, as the man, if you are deemed not capable of paying an arbitrary minimum amount to other people (who have no obligation to support themselves or anyone else) you will also be put in jail.

TendieDinner777 · 2022-04-05T03:56:55+00:00

“But I know this one woman who doesn’t expect men to be like that, so you’re wrong.” /s

Jaxedai · 2022-04-05T02:25:38+00:00

Luckily as men, we can overcome and die alone happy. We don’t need to do all the things you listed above. Women want all the stuff a man can give, and discard what stops providing. Women tend to be unhappier alone than men from what I’ve been reading. Shit gets even harder for them as they age.

Don’t feel guilty or bad. They don’t need no man, and can do everything a man can do. So let them.

Derpalator · 2022-04-05T10:56:40+00:00

Newly retired, looking back, being in the same boat as you and others in the thread below, I concur. The only thing that kept me going was getting blown regularly to offset "the load".

CCity__ · 2022-04-05T05:10:27+00:00

I get it,

InannaXanthus · 2022-04-05T11:45:09+00:00

A couple of days ago,a friend of my relatives arrived to our house to talk,have a chat and open himself about his issues,problems and personal life. Basically told my aunt that no one gave a shit about his life or problems,that he gave everything for his brothers and sisters,for his mother,for his(until some months ago) romantic partner,all for nothing. He decided to start a new life in other country since he just doesn't feels like he has truly someone here. Just like the topic of your post: he was there for his friends,his mother,his brothers and sisters,his s.o and all for nothing, no one was ever there for him.

A similar situation happened to me, always there for the people i loved and I ended up being Ostracized ad forgotten by most after i didn't "provided" What they wanted me to give to them,or after their expectations about me fell to the ground. Was told crap like "man up", "women have it worse", "don't be a man child and cry", "stop moaning" by people. Often i just feel like as guys we cannot behave like normal human beings but like stoic robots that lack emotions and feelings.

Alarming_Draw · 2022-04-05T19:33:49+00:00

completely agree and sick of it too. men have crazily difficult lives now compared to women. expected to be saviour, hero, self sacrificing, apologetic for existing, carer, calm, strong, powerful-but laugh happily when any thot tears into you for simply being a male who has to apologise for being male.

Title	As a man, I have to be completely self reliant, as well as let other people rely on me as well, and I'm so tired of it.
Author	CurnanBarbarian
Upvotes	115
Comments	14
Date	April 4, 2022 8:39 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/twcer9/as_a_man_i_have_to_be_completely_self_reliant_as/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/as-a-man-i-have-to-be-completely-self-reliant-as.1108602 https://theredarchive.com/post/1108602

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