All I wanted was an explanation from her. Why she filed divorce on me after I received a mental health diagnosis of bipolar disorder. For months I seethed about it all. My mental health deteriorated to the point I began lashing out at virtually everyone. From childhood trauma I have a sensitivity to abandonment and this tripped the wire like never before. Dr Jeckyl became Mr Hyde and landed in jail. I never hurt anyone, thankfully, but I inflicted plenty of psychological pain. Then, I got the right meds. And started in with a girlfriend. Still filled with anger at the mother of my children, the divorce process rolled on. I was convinced she set it in place to take all my money while I was in the throes of mental illness. Mediation made the divorce almost final, we began civil interactions about our kids, and I moved into my divorced Dad house. With a clear head, I went through the emails I didn’t seem to have the time to read in my manic rage. And there, in June, was the love letter from her. Pledging to withdraw the divorce if I would seek more help for my bipolar disorder. And laying out how all of the finances could be handled. And the children taken care of. If I would just call her to discuss how I could get more care. And then return home. So I post this as a means of telling anyone in similar situations to do whatever you can to set aside anger, to seek help, and whenever legally possible, talk it through with your spouse. This is the divorce I never wanted, and I’ll live with the regret of not seeking the help my loving (ex) wife was asking me to seek. Because now I cannot return home.