I predicted this would happen sooner or later. My ex has never been able to make good financial decisions (not just financial). When we were separated but still legally together, I felt obligated to get her to a position that she had the opportunity to float.

She had to keep a job and make sacrifices, and I told her that if she was diligent, she would be able to make it. She had no debts because I took them all. Apartment and other normal bills people have.

While I was pessimistic that this time would be any different, it was confirmed the day after I signed over the title to our SUV. It took a sacrifice on my end, but I paid it off so that I could sign it over and just be done with it. The next day, she traded it in for a WRX and took on a $12k vehicle loan. While it wasn't really my business anymore, I asked her if it was a good choice and if she could afford it. No doubts whatsoever. She kept telling me it is a blast to drive, and how people come up to her and want to race, etc.

She's never been able to keep a job longer than 2 months, and she was about 1 month into her job at that point. She started taking time off for medical and mental health reasons. Not to downplay these issues (I have bipolar myself), but she definitely overplayed them during our marriage. Her not working and false ailments were one of the fault lines in our marriage, so I wasnt surprised that this continued.

While her work is understanding and accommodating, they said it was ok if she took time off. She applied for FMLA and disability, and she assumed that because they said it was ok, that she would get paid at least partially. Well, benefits don't typically kick in for someone who's been there for a month. And while her job is protected from FMLA, she found out today that she's not getting paid at all for the last 10 days that she took off from work. It's not really a surprise to anyone but her.

Well, I'm not really sure why I'm bringing this up other than our physical custody for our daughter has been uprooted. It's split, but I've been more than willing to keep her away from the many different types of crisis over there. My daughter is my life, and I'm welcoming being able to be the stable, fulltime "A" parent, but I wasn't exactly ready for it to happen so suddenly. I've had her for a week straight now, and I'm looking to find the strength to make the necessary changes to make this a permanent situation. I used to rely on the days away to prepare for the days with her. There's certainly a solution there somewhere for me to get alone-time while still under my supervision, but I haven't had any extra time to think, plan, or make arrangements.

While things have never been better for my daughter and our relationship after this week, time will be running out to get these permanent arrangents in place. My daughter has been extremely happy, and taking her every day has been very natural. But I know that she is confused underneath, and she will wonder more and more what's going on with her mom. I need to be ready for this to catch up to my daughter and possibly have a breakdown from her. She's troubled from the marriage itself, and I know that there is ambivilance that things right now are both better and worse.

I realize that this is more of a parenting issue than a divorce one, but I'm subscribed to this one, and I've been here for over a year with you guys. I don't have anyone to help me, and I don't have anyone to talk to, and I don't have the wherewithal right now to even find the right place to post this. I'm so exhausted dealing with correcting behavior and intoducing discipline while still being soft. Getting her to bed and getting her up. I have about one hour after getting her to bed to do something before needing to sleep myself. I really should be getting my pills sorted out for the week right now and anything else I can do, but for some reason I've had to do this. I have to go to bed to be able to do everything necessary tomorrow and still be somewhat effective at my job.