Ok so this may be a long one folks so buckle up. I am here to present to you 'The Tragedy of Heterosexuality' by Jane Ward, professor of Gender and sexuality studies at UCR.

So the book essentially means what it says in the title, she views heterosexual relationships through the lens of being queer, and through that lens contests that hetero relationships are indeed tragic. The author sites the fact that shes heard so many straight women in her life complaining about their husbands, the fact that women have less orgasms than men, and the fact that divorce rates went up over the pandemic to conclude that we need to "reform" heterosexuality.

The main crux of the argument is that being straight isnt the problem, more that "straight culture' hurts both men and women cos of the patriarchy. The author states this using what she coins as the "misogyny paradox" which says (and im paraphrasing) that we as men say we love women unconditionally but we do things that signal we actually hate them. Stuff like not doing equal amounts of housework, parenting duties, the orgasm gap etc.

And whats her solution to all this? "Deep heterosexuality". Now if that sounds kind of weird its because it is, deep heterosexuality is essentially calling on us as men to become more feminist, essentially 'loving like lesbians'. You can infer the details from this and the links I provide below. While actually reading the book (like I have) would be best to deconstruct it, the nyu press review does a pretty good job of laying out the central points.

My point in bringing this book to your attention is that it goes to show how anyone in gender studies circles can take some feminist concepts like patriarchy or heteronormativity, and use it against masculinity or how we function in relationships.

NYU press review

An interview with the author