I have had a rough year with my marriage. We've been married 11 years and been together for 14 years. One thing I have prided myself on in our relationship is honesty. In 14 years good or bad we've been honest, brutally honest and it's been welcomed. I've never been upset at her for telling the truth about anything.

With that said in May of 2021 I hung out with a new female friend of hers (full disclosure, we moved to a new city during the pandemic, first chance to meet new people) That night she started acting strange, wife literally acted like it was taboo for me and her new friend to talk while my wife was in the bathroom. Wife went to bathroom and when she came back I was talking to friend and she said "should I come back"? Now my wife would never do this. She'd tell us to get over ourselves and move on.
Ever since that day I've noticed little white lies. So fucking little I just can't understand. (For instance, wife says on a phone call "we are doing this And this and this" but she told me she's alone to start conversation. Naturally, who the fuck is we? Oh **** is shopping with me. Asked her why she intentionally made it sound like she was alone and she said it's because I get upset when they hang out. The only reason I have an issue is because she started lying after spending time with this friend. The lies continued from there and everytime I reacted I was blamed for not liking her new friend. The crescendo for me was 2 weeks ago I knew (without her knowledge) that she had taken nsfw videos of herself in April 2022 and I asked her to send me anything that I didn't have. She claimed she hadn't taken any new videos since December of last year. When I looked at her phone it was obvious it was deleted and the worst part was she deleted it after I asked (i inquired in the morning) and claimed she hadn't filmed anything at all.

After an incredible blow out I find mrp and realize I suck as a husband and should be better. I have implemented stfu, I already go to a gym and eat well. I'm overweight but this is a focus.

Why would my wife make these little lies after 13 years of honest marriage and why does she lie about shit that doesn't matter. Had I asked for new pics of her and she said "I made one but deleted it because I didn't want you to see it" I would've been 100% ok. Had happened in the past and i respected her 100%. But no I was lied for literally no reason.

Only since this new friend had she started lying.

Rambling I'm sure, but I'd appreciate someone else's perspective on the new found dishonesty.

To note, I hold myself accountable for not being a better man. And have actively started the basic principles of nmmng.