I have watched one of the last Hamza's videos about how life is a war. He puts video of Tate saying how it is a war to get the woman you want, the car you want and etc. And it is definitely depressing view of the world tbh. And still idk if its that way.

About 2 months ago I had college entrance exam which I didnt do really well, didnt get into course I wanted but still be doing an engineering course. My dream job is to be software developer but idk if I could get it. Im still sad because of the entrance exam. I was never competitive enough. I played football and basketball for fun, I draw for fun, I played video games for fun I even was going to the school just to learn stuff and joke around lmao. So thats maybe why I havent took entrance exam more seriously.

I have seen people in self improvment, especially Hamza's, that we are really competing against each other. After my entrance exam I started to believe in it. And it really makes me depressive more and more. Recently been into anti-natalists stuff just because of it. Dont see a point of having a child in world where he will just suffer.

Btw I am asking this question here because I dont know where else. I have never really bite that red pill tbh.