Need advice: how to escape the "fun friend zone"?

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-08-18T10:17:41+00:00

No advice threads

Cephalan · 2022-08-18T07:21:55+00:00

flirt from the get go. don't be cheesy or romantic, but a a smirk, a cheeky comment, holding her gaze a little too long - these are the things that make me see a guy as an option rather than a friend. make it clear you're a man with a sex drive and see how it goes.

once she sees you as a friend (aka a nonsexual being), you're verrrry unlikely to change her mind.

MAGA-Latino · 2022-08-18T07:54:58+00:00

I think you have to learn a little seduction techniques or simply start trying to make some moves on them. Start by being a little flirty and if you get good responses escalate.

Just be prepared to lose some of these "friendships", but occasionally you might start getting laid. Maybe one of those girls can possibly become a girlfriend.

sd2iv · 2022-08-18T06:52:19+00:00

You don't escape the fun friend zone, you avoid it all together. The question is how do you avoid this? There are many ways, like showcasing pre-selection or speaking bluntly about what you want or talking about how you don't want anything serious etc etc. If you need to get out of it, you get the girl jealous by getting some other girls into you so that she starts to get jealous. You can up your status by hitting the gym, or making other noticeable changes that she will recognize. That said, all of these ways are a completely and utterly inefficient way to avoid the friendzone.

What is the secret then? It's physical escalation. The key to showing romantic interest towards a Woman is touching her. You can do both deliberate and non-deliberate styles of touching. The key is to build up the intensity respectfully, make sure to read the woman's queues that they are enjoying it or at the very least indifferent to it, and back off if she isn't interested. If you want to read more about this you can check out the DiCarlo Escalation ladder.

How did I really internalize this? I remember the time at 16 where I lost the attractive woman I'd been on a few dates with, because when she walked out with me to the car I didn't kiss her when the vibe was there. She broke up with me the next day.

So lets give an example of how to escalate. The first touches should be something relatively safe like touching a women's elbow or shoulder. Most people won't scream assault if you touch their elbow, the worst that they would say is don't touch me. I might then create a situation where I can high five her. Then I might create an opportunity for a hug. Next, I might find someway to touch her hair, or take her to a dance floor where escalation is much easier. All along you should be reading a Woman's reactions to make sure that she is comfortable enough with what you are doing.

If you keep escalating, she knows that you are in the relationship zone or don't want to associate with person zone and not in the friend zone. If you escalate to the point where you are consensually kissing a woman or touching her thigh or whatever she's not gonna be like, Oh we're just kissing friends. Instead she's gonna be like I'm into him for a relationship or not.

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Kaylxx_sm · 2022-08-18T06:53:25+00:00

Perhaps in your initial meet up, your intentions should be clear (if you're sure about your intentions when you meet them). It would save you a lot of hoping it turns into more down the road. I am a big fan of the friends to lovers pipeline but a lot of people aren't. So when you initially meet a woman, and you feel you click...maybe tell her you want to date. If she says no, move on. If she agrees, then yay!

SignalThanks6766 · 2022-08-18T06:55:51+00:00

Have you asked them out?

AreOut · 2022-08-18T07:13:16+00:00

You have to find the right words to express your feelings towards them, the line is somewhere between "I want to fuck you." and "I have a romantic interest in you." but you will have to find it yourself.

jasonology09 · 2022-08-18T07:19:24+00:00

Don't ever be their friend to begin with, unless you're sure that you have no interest in them romantically. Your problem is that you've accepted the friend role. But let's be honest, they were never your friends to begin with that was just your way into their orbit. Now you're complaining because you can't get out of it.

Can you go from just friends to lovers? Sure. It happens, but it's extremely rare. What's more likely is that you'll just end up frustrated waiting for a transition, that will probably never happen. What you need to is make your intentions clear, and accept the consequences of losing their friendship if your feelings aren't reciprocated. Then you need to carry that moving forward. If you meet a woman you're interested in, make it clear that if you're going to further communicate or spend time with her, that it's with potential romance in mind. If she's not comfortable with that, then you simply move on.

GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B · 2022-08-18T07:25:36+00:00

State your intentions from the beginning and don't be fun. That way you won't end up in that zone.

eyesayhello · 2022-08-18T07:58:46+00:00

Stop being friends with women. Start asserting yourself as a romantic partner.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-08-18T10:10:05+00:00

Lol, why are you "friends" with women you are sexually interested in? And I don't mean friends, because being friends is great, I mean "friends". Meaning you pretend to be their friend cause you want to fuck them? It shows me that you set up the relationship based on a lie and then you blame the woman for overlooking how great and fantastic and stable you are. If you had even half a ball you would express your sexuality and interest in them straight from the beginning so there is no ambiguity.

truthfullyVivid · 2022-08-18T10:24:32+00:00

I think you're in a great position here, because this can lead to opportunities to meet a lot more women that are potential love interests. After all, you are a trusted and well-loved friend to many of these women so they have the potential to help hook you up with other women to date, and also there really isn't a better wingman than a woman. You could even tell them you're interested in meeting someone for the sex/romance and they'll be stoked to help you. This has always been my experience because I also have plenty of women friends. Also, when you meet some new women, just decide earlier on before you become good friends that you are pursuing something more and make that evident-- don't let it remain ambiguous for so long that you've developed a strong friendship with someone you were interested in from the start or else you risk that happening. That's not to say some of the strongest relationships don't come out of strong friendships-- but there's always the risk that it goes the other way. Anyway though, I think you can leverage your situation in your favor pretty easily here and without even doing anything remotely shady. Just be open and honest about this stuff and I think some of your friends will want to help you.

Title	Need advice: how to escape the "fun friend zone"?
Author	Z0mbs
Upvotes	4
Comments	15
Date	August 18, 2022 6:09 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wrbrg8/need_advice_how_to_escape_the_fun_friend_zone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/need-advice-how-to-escape-the-fun-friend-zone.1128997 https://theredarchive.com/post/1128997

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