Is the alpha beta dichotomy true? Help me understand

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Melificarum · 2022-09-04T20:33:16+00:00

One of the things red pill gets completely wrong is that sex is NOT a reward. It is incredibly solipsistic for men to think that women only exist with male interest or pleasure in mind and aren't having sex for themselves. There are a number of reasons why a woman would want to sleep around and then take it slow later on. For instance:

Woman A sleeps with romantic partners on the first or second date. Unfortunately she learns that most people will get what they want from her and dump her. So she starts going slower with people she likes.
Woman B has disassociated sex from romance. With most men, she will sleep with them and never see them again. When she meets someone she really likes, she doesn't want to treat him like that.
Woman C used to sleep around for fun. Eventually, she decides that one night stands don't give her the intimacy she really wants, or she's had some bad experiences, so she decides to get to know people before sleeping with them.

There are lots of reasons why women would take it slow in a relationship and none of it has to do with punishing betas. It usually mean she really LIKES you. Just try to look at it from a woman's point of view. Our sexuality is viewed differently by society so our behaviors are not the same as men.

WWhiMM · 2022-09-04T20:47:35+00:00

At this point it's probably for the best you ghosted her if spending time with her and getting to know her just felt like "all this effort." Sounds like she wanted to have a deep intimate relationship while you just wanted some casual sex. Nothing wrong with either of those goals, but for sure those are mismatched goals.
And, it's not that weird for someone's goals to be different at different times. People grow and change and learn about what it is they want out of life and out of relationships. Hopefully in the future you can have more upfront conversations about all that with potential partners and make the experience a little less painful for the both of you.

SweelFor- · 2022-09-04T21:46:44+00:00

What steps have you taken to deprogram yourself from this RP view of seeing human relationships and sexuality?

Justsomealt24 · 2022-09-04T20:42:20+00:00

I don’t know what your problem is, it seems you two are the same quality. You both do hookups, she expects someone to drag along, and you only respect a woman of ‘purity’ it seems. It’s not going to work. You need to improve your mindset, instead of going on the run to sleep around, or view a woman who’s not pure in a bad way.. you’re not pure either. Neither of you are deserving of amazing quality, as both of you didn’t stick to being of quality it seems.

asshole67throw · 2022-09-04T19:32:49+00:00

That has nothing to do with alpha ness. That’s timing and social conditioning as well as alcohol intake.

If you’d met her in a hotel bar you could have fucked her too.

Do you care if she thinks your beta? You shouldn’t. But what she likes doesn’t get is how you’re thinking, she just thinks you’re immature or jealous.

Realistically if she’s told you about other guys she’s fucking you’re friendzoned anyway, so just go cold and move on.

zapadz · 2022-09-04T20:59:34+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byB0TQt1IdE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOquDtDtuWg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpozXn8ln-Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlJLLjE9_To

DasXbird · 2022-09-05T08:49:12+00:00

I don't think your problem is her behaviour. Now, there are some women who will use guys for attention, ego boosts, sex, entertainment etc. She might be one, she might not.

Here is the thing though. This is bothering you, it sounds like you feel inadequate and insecure. Has this whole ordeal triggered some wounds you're carrying around?

If so, now might be a good time to sit down, meditate on the feeling and go deep into it. I suspect that what is really bothering you was triggered by her, but has very little to do with her.

incredulitor · 2022-09-05T17:05:08+00:00

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_myth_of_the_alpha_male

from https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=alpha+beta+male+myth

givesmeconniptionfit · 2022-09-05T18:47:34+00:00

The bluepill argument is the woman has a genuine interest in keeping you around and is holding off on sex to make sure you're interested in more than the physical, rather than the previous tristes that were purely sexual. There's more fulfillment in a relationship that isn't just about sex.

The redpill argument is the men were alphas that imprinted on her, and it's likely you're a beta that provides more stability. The woman wants to forget her ho phase and settle down, so she will hold off on personal desire and use sex as a tool to keep partners interested, but the reality is there will always be a spark for the previous partner(s) she didn't need to do this with.

Your choice how you want to model your world. I personally see truth on both sides

Title	Is the alpha beta dichotomy true? Help me understand
Author	Secure_Task3023
Upvotes	0
Comments	37
Date	September 4, 2022 7:23 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/x5vc9j/is_the_alpha_beta_dichotomy_true_help_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/is-the-alpha-beta-dichotomy-true-help-me.1130086 https://theredarchive.com/post/1130086

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