Women:"Our Body Count Doesn't Matter" Also Women: "Ewww What Are You Some Kinda Virgin Weirdo?" Am I The Only One Who Notices This Double Standard

InsidePilot_54 · 2022-11-08T23:16:27+00:00

Can we talk about this irrational double standard. Because tbh this kind of blatant hypocrisy disturbs my spirit. How come women so casually go from...

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Surveys and peer-reviewed articles published in scholarly journals have shown that both men and women have preferences when it comes to the sexual histories of their partners. Men and women are more or less equally reluctant to partner up with people possessing extensive sexual histories, and women are far less likely to date men who have little-to-no experience or same-sex experiences than men are to date women with those same qualities. For the most part, however, only men’s preferences in this regard are highly scrutinized and subject to social shaming, and that’s what men are pushing back on. When women have preferences, they can and do express them freely, without scrutiny or harassment. When men have preferences, those preferences are deemed misogynistic by both men and women. It’s the same reason why body positivity activists say that it’s fine for plus-sized women to shame and avoid dating obese men. Society and the current zeitgeist says men’s preference is always misogyny.

Women discriminate against promiscuous partners at similar rates as men

Thus, contrary to the idea that male promiscuity is tolerated but female promiscuity is not, both sexes expressed equal reluctance to get involved with someone with an overly extensive sexual history. (pg.1097)

Stewart-Williams, S., Butler, C. A., & Thomas, A. G. (2017). Sexual History and Present Attractiveness: People Want a Mate With a Bit of a Past, But Not Too Much. Journal of sex research, 54(9), 1097–1105.

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Targets were more likely to be derogated as the number of sexual partners increased, and this effect held for both male and female targets. These results suggest that, although people do evaluate others as a function of sexual activity, people do not necessarily hold men and women to different sexual standards (pg.175)

Marks, M. J., & Fraley, R. C. (2005). The Sexual Double Standard: Fact or Fiction? Sex Roles, 52(3–4), 175–186.

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We proposed that sexual promiscuity would negatively affect responses toward both gay and straight men, and tested the effects of sexual promiscuity along with femininity and masculinity—traits directly tied to gender role expectations… women report increased negativity toward sexually promiscuous gay men, mediated by concern for disease threats. We also found support for the influence of gender roles, as heterosexual men reported decreased prejudice toward unambiguously masculine gay men. Both heterosexual women and men consistently reported increased social distancing toward sexually promiscuous straight men (pg.74)

Cook, C. L., & Cottrell, C. A. (2021). You don’t know where he’s been: Sexual promiscuity negatively affects responses toward both gay and straight men. Psychology of Men & Masculinities, 22(1), 63–76.

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Intriguingly, men and women closely agree on the ideal number of lifetime sexual partners – and their opinions weren’t too far off from the reality. Women said 7.5 is the ideal number of partners – only 0.5 partners above their actual average. Men cited 7.6 as the ideal number of partners, which is 1.2 fewer than their own actual average… Our female respondents said they perceive the threshold for being too promiscuous is 15.2 partners, while men consider 14 the defining number when it comes to promiscuity.

Superdrug. (n.d.). What’s your number? Superdrug.com.

Women discriminate against bisexual men and men with same-sex experiences at far higher rates than men

Results indicated that heterosexual women rated bisexual men as less sexually and romantically attractive, less desirable to date and have sex with, and less masculine compared to straight men. No such differences were found for heterosexual and gay men’s ratings of female and male profiles, respectively. These results support previous research findings that indicate more negative attitudes toward dating bisexual men than bisexual women.

Gleason, N., Vencill, J. A., & Sprankle, E. (2018). Swipe Left on the Bi Guys: Examining Attitudes toward Dating and Being Sexual with Bisexual Individuals. Informa UK Limited.

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Sexuality professor Ritch C. Savin-Williams told Glamour that women saying that they would not date a bisexual man "suggests that these women hold on to the view that while women occupy a wide spectrum of sexuality, men are either gay or straight."

Mashego, L. (2018, April 20). Biphobia - why are women afraid of dating bisexual men? W24.

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63% of women, however, say they wouldn't date a man who has had sex with another man

Tsoulis-Reay, A. (2016, February 11). Are you straight, gay, or just...You? Glamour.

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Thirty-four percent of women anticipated or had already experienced having sex with another woman, compared to only 20 percent of men who desired to have sex with another man. However, women were less willing to consider dating a bisexual person than male respondents.

Sexual Journeys: 1,000 People Evaluate their Sexual Evolution. (n.d.). ZAVA UK.

Women discriminate against inexperienced men far more than the other way around

In association with world-renowned biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher of Rutgers University and esteemed evolutionary biologist Dr. Justin R. Garcia of The Kinsey Institute… 42% of singles would not date a virgin (33% of men and 51% of women)

Fisher, H., & Garcia, J. R. (2013, February 5). Singles in America: Match.com releases third annual comprehensive study on the single population. Match.com MediaRoom.

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Younger people in their 20s were particularly less likely to say they would date a virgin — even though most virgins were in this age range—and women were more likely to report not wanting to date someone without sexual experience than men.

Basu, T. (2016, April 4). Adult virgins say they don’t want to date other adult virgins. The Cut.

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Hi again! 😊

No, I’m afraid not.

The problem with these types of studies is that they are entirely survey based. The only thing that is does prove, is that women who CLAIM to have a low body count, also CLAIM to have never cheated on their partner.

The issues with studies, especially when there is so much negativity still surrounding female sexuality, is that you cannot guarantee, or even bank on honesty.

While you could argue that that in of itself could mean that the numbers are higher than we thought for women, that is an unproven assumption and not dictated by fact.

Studies can certainly be useful, and has their place in this type of sociological and psychological research. However, the limitations must always be remembered, and are particularly highlighted when it comes to such a controversial subject such as sex and body count. The lack of solid, concrete evidence does bring these types of studies into discredit.

There is also a lack here of sources on why people have high body counts, or even what actually constitutes as a high body count. It also blatantly ignores other factors, such as personal freedom to sexuality, religion, sexuality, abuse, trauma, mental illness, and the changing nature of attitudes to sex.

Using the assumption that a person with a high body count will make for a cheating spouse, to not date someone compatible, is highly reductive and a bit silly.

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[–]ebony-mori 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

Or, people are entirely unique human beings and their thought processes, morals and attitudes cannot be easily summed up in a survey to conclude something so concrete.

It could be that people with higher body counts are more likely to cheat.

It could be that people with lower body counts are lying about infidelity more, and be more likely to cheat than someone with a high body count.

Or, there is no difference in infidelity rates between someone with a high or low body count.

Or, someone with a high body count and someone with a low body count are equally as likely to cheat as each other.

There are different underlying factors that come into play with infidelity, and blaming body count is not productive in the slightest.

Still, not seeing a valid argument that body count actually does matter.

[–]Fearless-File-3625 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

It could be that people with higher body counts are more likely to cheat

It is not "could", women with higher bc are more likely to cheat.

It could be that people with lower body counts are lying about infidelity more, and be more likely to cheat than someone with a high body count.

Obviously that could happen but you have no evidence for it.

Or, there is no difference in infidelity rates between someone with a high or low body count.

Again no evidence.

Only thing we have evidence for is that women with higher bc are more likely to cheat.

There are different underlying factors that come into play with infidelity, and blaming body count is not productive in the slightest.

Yeah just ignore the factor that has highest correlation with someone's likelihood to cheat.

Still, not seeing a valid argument that body count actually does matter.

How would you? it doesn't sits well with your agenda. Stay mad little hoe.

[–]ebony-mori 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

Wow, looks like I’ve touched a nerve! If this conversation is too much for you to emotionally handle, you’re welcome to sit out of it.

No, women with a higher body count is not more likely to cheat. There is a correlation between someone having a higher body count and infidelity according to surveys. There is nothing to say that a high body count causes someone to cheat. That’s where you’ve gotten confused.

I know there is no evidence that suggests that, that’s my point. You are making a vast assumption based on a fallible study type. Surveys rely on someone being honest about the material, and when surveying something like sex that is still heavily stigmatised (as you lovingly pointed out), you can’t rely on that. This brings the validity of the study into question.

It’s also worth noting that just because there is a correlation between two things, doesn’t mean that one has caused the other.

You are arguing that because there is a correlation between body count, and infidelity, that there is a distinct causation affect. There isn’t.

For example.

In early studies of intelligence, there was a correlation between someone being black, and someone scoring badly in an IQ test.

This caused bias researchers at the time to say that being black, in of itself, caused the bad test results, and as a result, black people inherently lack intelligence. This was used to justify a racist propaganda against black people in education.

However, the actual case for black people failing these IQ tests, was the situational circumstances they were facing, such as discrimination and prejudice.

Now work has been done to lessen those factors, we can see that black students are just as intelligent as their white peers.

It’s the lens the results were seen through, that led to such an incorrect conclusion.

See now, when it comes to infidelity and body count, there could very easily, and more than likely, be an external factor.

Another example.

There could be a direct link of people that reported headaches, and death. The headaches did not cause the death of that person. However, something like a brain tumour would cause the headaches, and the death. Not every person that has had a brain tumour will have had headaches- even though it is a common symptom. It would be wrong to blame the headache as a cause of death for someone with a brain tumour. It is also wrong to say that because this link exists, that you are likely to die from a headache.

The same rule applies for body count and infidelity. Hyper sexuality and promiscuity, and risk of infidelity, will be symptoms of a larger issue. This means that someone can be likely to cheat, but have a low body count. Or someone may have a high body count, but would be entirely faithful. It’s still also wrong to blame the body count for the infidelity.

It all depends on what lens the data is viewed through, and how desperate researchers are to prove a political opinion.

Women and sexuality has been a controversial topic throughout history. That’s important to remember when discussing these studies too.

Thanks for pointing out that this discrimination does exist though. I’m sure this is why people look toward MRAs with such respect. 😊

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