q4w: If you have a history of leaving your past bf's, wouldnt it be dumb to invest time and energy into a relationship with you?

HateSpeechFanBoy · 2022-11-14T21:36:55+00:00

Most people have exes.

The question is why did a person leave their exes? Do they drop people because they get bored or always want something new or better? Did their exes treat them poorly? Was it simply a matter of incompatibility?

I've always asked about a person's exes on the second date because how a person talks about their exes speaks volumes. Anyone who claims they all sucked, won't shut up about an ex, or has a ridiculous reason for leaving isn't worth my time. Someone who calmly explains their ex was obsessively frugal or too messy or they had different life goals is fine.

truthstobetold · 2022-11-15T07:31:55+00:00

I have 1 "ex", it was my very awkward first "love" and relationship. It was very weird. He never introduced me as a girlfriend (only once, when aske by a senile aunt).

We was something for 1.5 years. Not much, but still quite some time, enough for me to find out what I truly wanted.

He kept telling me he didn't see a future together, that his friends didn't really like me and he didn't think about me alot.

So when a new boy showed interest in me, I broke it off and got together with my now current bf of 4 years.

Had it not been for my ex, I wouldn't have had the experience to be together in a happy relationship today. If I break up with my current bf, I would have even more experience, regarding what I wish for in a relationship, what I have to work on and what to do and not to do (like you can't and shouldn't try to change people, but should allow them to grow).

My mom have sort of the same story, however it took her 20 or some relationships to work out her needs and herself.

Some people need time, to find out, they have to work on themselves. Others are just unlucky. I would say, that no relationship is ever a waste of time, if you are allowed to change, to grow and to reflect.

It's all about the journey, not the destination -kind of mentality.

And I'm not saying I'm gonna throw away my current bf for someone "better". I like taking the journey with him, and as long as he also likes to take it with me, and wants to take the journey with me, so do I, and neither do I seek or wish for a better suiter to appear. :)

Don't know if it made any sense... Good luck finding love, if anyone needs it <3

rurunoa · 2022-11-15T00:24:12+00:00

yeah 😆

Glad-Discount-4761 · 2022-11-15T00:40:45+00:00

In my case,all guys left me lol.

But anyway,yeah it would be dumb since I am not feminine material.

Odd-Luck7658 · 2022-11-23T20:48:11+00:00

Well, no. You always leave your past boyfriends, that’s why they are past. You stop leaving past boy friends when you find the one you want to stay with Forever. This is the normal journey.

Title	q4w: If you have a history of leaving your past bf's, wouldnt it be dumb to invest time and energy into a relationship with you?
Author	_Duriel_1000_
Upvotes	7
Comments	13
Date	November 14, 2022 6:46 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/AllPillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AllPillDebate/comments/yv8nwx/q4w_if_you_have_a_history_of_leaving_your_past/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/AllPillDebate/q4w-if-you-have-a-history-of-leaving-your-past-bfs.1139849 https://theredarchive.com/post/1139849

Comments