To love somebody is to feel and believe they are special and one of if not the best people you know. It’s not to be done for the sake of it. It’s not something easily given and not everybody should be loved by another for the sake of fairness of “empathy” to the loveless

NockerJoe · 2022-12-13T04:57:03+00:00

This is true right up until you either learn a bit of game or get love for doing very little outside someone finding you attractive. Love is, in actuality, a very cheap resource that gets traded in vast quantities every single day. Its given freely to people who don't value or deserve it because thats how it works. I've been that guy multiple times and I had just enough self awareness to not like it, but I was still the guy somebody caught feelings for even though I barely thought of them and didn't do anything in particular for them.

Hell, if you couldn't provoke a strong emotional reaction or create a strong parasocial relationship our media landscape would be very very different. But obviously both of those things happen basically daily.

Hell to take it more extreme, you're not supposed to exploit mental illness or try to engineer trauma bonding but the more amoral men here have routinely done just that. Just go to basically any other offtopic thread and you'll see dudes exploiting social dynamics or else only dating girls with BPD or picking up girls at AA meetings or psych wards. Its not morally good, but it works, because exploiting people to provoke an emotional reaction is obviously going to get way more consistent reactions than trying to engage someone in a neutral state who you don't have any kind of hook in.

NataliaCaptions · 2022-12-13T06:47:59+00:00

True love is a choice. It's quiet, it endures, it's always there.
True love lies in family relations, or friendship.
Romantic love is basically lust mixed with affection. It's entirely dependant on your body releasing massive amounts of endorphins to give you the "happy butterflies".

By the way, that's why you should aim to make your partner your best friend. That way, even if you do stop finding them attractive, true love will stay there. Unfortunately, too many relationships are based on the false kind of romantic """"love""", which is why so many couples break up. Either the girl found a guy who gave her more butterflies or the guy let himself go and lost the qualities that made him attractive (it can work in reverse too)

serafixed · 2022-12-13T16:33:25+00:00

Then most people are not seeking love and it isn’t a universal need

GemXi · 2022-12-13T05:11:11+00:00

You are completely right that freedom of choice is central to female sexuality and from an evolutionary perspective it's completely irrational to mate with LVM out of sympathy.

But there is an argument for why this might not be ideal for society. Note I am by no means a supporter of this argument nor am I a believer in arranged marriage. Just offering a different perspective.

When the reins are off and freedom is in full force the females flock to the most desired males as it's ingrained in their evolution just like any other mammal where the female bears most if not all parental investment as they have much more to lose for making a bad mating decision.

In bigger societies this can become an issue because you end up with a large underclass of men that are ostracized and only serve as peasants, slaves, soldiers and get no family of their own.

Why should these men be loyal to kings, tribal leaders, royal families and other high status men when they get no family of their own? So it's a recipe for chaos, crime and destabilization. Which is why polygamous societies and civilizations collapsed or transitioned to monogamy.

This is a big reason as to why religions are hellbent on controlling women. 1 woman per man and strict laws against evolutionary mating instincts. This gives you much better stability and control over your population and kingdom.

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-12-13T17:27:25+00:00

It’s a rare once in a lifetime token you give to somebody you deem to be loveable.

Just a note, love isn't a token you can only give once, or one at a time. Poly relationships are rare but exist, and people can fall in love and share love with different people throughout their lives.

draiki13 · 2022-12-13T07:17:47+00:00

I see the argument here by a lot of men who don’t get attention or love or sex from women that…

Yes, you should not be with someone out of empathy alone. The problem is that many women just give away love very cheaply. Let me give you an example. Harry Styles walks up to you and invites you on a date. Very easy to fall in love with. But ultimately you can’t really expect from him to give you anything of real value. Sure he’s one of the best but to him you’re just one of many.

On the other hand you have an average man that is willing to give you the world or at least do his best. But most of all, he’s willing to return that feeling of making you feel special or one of the best people he knows.

Again, I’m not saying to settle. I’m just saying look beyond what one has but what someone actually gives to you.

melody_of_ · 2022-12-13T09:58:15+00:00

I’m sorry but love isn’t some cheap resource you can just give away for the simple reason that “everyone deserves and needs love”

That is far from simple its one of the most complex and far reaching truths about humanity. Love is cheap, love is cheaper than an clearly empty promise from mr (to good to be true). Or an onlyfans subscription to some girl who can keep the illusion of commitment going for just a bit longer.

Cheaply broken and cheaply attained. We do not live in a world of formless individuals existing as black boxes their inner worlds completely unknown to us. Love is worth its market price. And nearly everyone has a price they will pay for it in one way or another. First by hope then self improvement then deception and manipulation. Sometimes not in that order and usually all at once.

People do seek it out and some are clearly more successful than others at finding it. This truth exist for people all over the moral spectrum.

Everything has consequences if the market becomes more stratified then it will be gamed

By companies politicians and influencers privy to the goldrush of lonely people to sell whatever to

Or

The market will be gamed whether it is the genetic lottery a winning personality or enough understanding of psychology to have a "winning personality".

Wherever there is a need bad enough the market will be exploited to provide for that

So long as their is profit To be made

You love who you love, fairness has nothing to do with it. Empathy has nothing to do with it. It’s not a resource to be distributed like Medicare.

Careful your reaching the point ;)

Gravel_Roads · 2022-12-13T11:55:39+00:00

For me, it's less that I need people to understand how special that sort of love is (because it is.)

I just wish they'd at least understand how much work goes into it. And that you have to offer the same level of love and understanding in return. You have to be forgiving and patient and flexible, and want to have peace and harmony.

Any post that contains "women BAD" content make it very hard to see how the OP of those comments would be able to receive love even if it was offered to them.

Doinpromo · 2022-12-13T05:25:20+00:00

They'd probably take the 90% marriage rate of yesteryear

AntiHypergamist · 2022-12-13T06:19:49+00:00

I don’t think asking girls to msg more than the top 5% of men is too much to ask. Women turn into such children when we tell them to lower their standards. I can’t relate to your post, I fall in love easily

cuckspace · 2022-12-13T08:19:56+00:00

Women don’t love someone because they are “special” or “one of the best people”. Yes, they can’t control who they love, but yes, men can absolutely control it by pressing the right buttons. Pressing the right buttons has nothing to do with kindness or respect for the woman.

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kennyfern · 2022-12-13T14:31:27+00:00

Of course nobody is owed love or sex those are things you have to earn.

w8juicelesspopsicle · 2022-12-14T01:57:25+00:00

Omg the first post that makes sense here 😂

gate18 · 2022-12-14T10:51:37+00:00

I don't think love is all that special

But that doesn't take anything away from the fact that everyone should give it to whoever they want. If they don't want to give it to "men who don’t get attention" they shouldn't. Not because love is special, but because they don't want to

It sounds as if you are trying to justify something that doesn't need to be justified. "I don't go out with X group because I don't want to", that is more than enough of a reason. Lonely people may not like it but meh.

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