What does it mean when he doesn’t remember things about you?

mistressusa · 2023-01-26T00:43:47+00:00

I need clarification -- what does "speaking" mean? Are you guys bf and gf and exclusive?

Astroviridae · 2023-01-26T14:31:59+00:00

You've asked this question twice. Dear, I think deep down you know the answer. You haven't met his family after a year of courting and he's delaying nikkah. To me, this points towards disinterest more than forgetting your birthday. Either that or he's waiting to see if better "options" come around and is weighing you versus other women.

You'll have to ask yourself if this is the type of marriage you want. He's a potential, you're not engaged or betrothed so this is the time to vet before committing to marriage. Does he show interest in other ways? Remember, if he's distant now, he'll be distant when you marry.

SereneDesiree · 2023-01-26T10:35:48+00:00

Forgetting birthdays isn't a huge deal, but not being interested in you is a huge deal, in my opinion.

Marriage lasts a long time. I'd prefer to get married to someone who wants to hear about my interests and thoughts.

JaguarOrdinary5303 · 2023-01-26T16:17:30+00:00

From a man, this means you care more than he does. As a dude its understandable to forget a loved ones birthdate most of us have a lot going on to stress us out and terrible memory to top it off, but not even knowing how old you are is a significant indicator, as well as showing no interest in your personal life. I would reccomend attempting to adress these feelings with him, if he makes no effort to immprove i would reccomend finding another courting partner but do be careful, have a loved one near for protection if you decide to split, i have heard horror stories about muslim men spurned by courtiers and i honestly hope they are all made up.

putabirdonit12 · 2023-01-26T17:18:40+00:00

These comments are ridiculous! Remembering your birthday and how old you are is below the bare minimum. Everyone can say how men are more forgetful, too stressed to remember things, have a bad memory, on and on. It’s not an excuse, how can a man you expect to be your leader remember all of his important work deadlines but not something as simple as your birthday? It means he doesn’t respect or care about you, simple. We all think men should be responsible, trustworthy leaders and that extends to caring about the most basic parts of you. I’m sorry but he is not it

Unusual_Marzipan887 · 2023-01-26T11:35:00+00:00

Holy moly Reading this was like reading into my own current experience I’m in a LD non-official relationship thing 🤦🏻‍♀️ We’ve been chatting for 3 months and have found that I was pretty much the only one asking about how their day was and any past experience questions to get to know them deeper. The most recent time we met I brought this concern up with him and he pretty much said he works too much to do small talk over text and he likes to have the deeper conversations in person. I got upset as that leaves us with no good means of getting to know each other better living as far apart as we do. The conversation unfortunately ended with no solid resolution. But since we’ve been apart again he has been putting in WAY more of an effort into our conversations.

My advise is to gently ask him about it and see what he says and what actions he takes.

Good luck x

VasiliyZaitzev · 2023-01-26T07:56:22+00:00

It isn’t personal. You have to treat us like we are all autistic. Do not expect a guy to think/act the way a woman would. I’m not saying that you are wrong to feel hurt about it, but we’re just wired differently. The incumbent OLTR reminds me 3 days out and that way she gets a birthday gift/flowers on the correct day. It’s a difference in how we see the world: if I never get another gift or another compliment for the rest of my life, I will be perfectly fine. Actually, I prefer not to receive gifts.

DerZerficker20x5cm · 2023-01-26T07:17:19+00:00

Well some people can’t remember any dates at all. Those should probably start using a calendar. Make sure to put all important dates in his phone calendar I’d say.

Jenneapolis · 2023-01-26T00:07:38+00:00

Was it just the birthday thing or does he not remember anything?

ashiissshhh · 2023-01-26T11:04:46+00:00

Simple, He got options and you don't.

TheBunk_TB · 2023-01-26T18:58:49+00:00

Is he exhausted?

Does he feel that he is getting pushed into this?

AutoModerator · 2023-01-25T23:11:11+00:00

Title: What does it mean when he doesn’t remember things about you?

Full text: Long story short, I have been speaking to a guy now for about a year with clear intentions of marriage laid out from the beginning. I remember all the small details he’s has told me about himself, and make it a point to ask him questions about his day consistently. 1 because I actually care, and 2 because I think it’s the normal thing to do as a way of showing interest in someone. I notice that I am the main one however asking him questions about his life and experiences, while I don’t feel he reciprocates. We discussed our birth dates on one occasion, I remembered it and got him a gift so he’d know he was thought about. My birthday recently passed and he completely forgot, thought it was a different month. I felt hurt but also reminded myself that birthdays aren’t a big deal for everyone, and that it slipped his Mind. What hurt me more was that once I told him it was my birthday, he mentioned me turning a year older than I actually am. I know it may seem like a small deal to some, but added up with everything else i mentioned, it really makes me feel like he doesn’t care enough to know who I am as a person and small details about mr, yet I would gladly try and find out who he is. I feel like If someone is genuinely interested in you, they will make it a point to remember these details because it’s important. It’s not a female thing, but for both genders. I’m wondering if you guys have any advice for me? Am I making this out to be a bigger deal than it is? I would really appreciate any opinions you all have. Thanks a lot

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Emerald_Pancakes · 2023-01-26T12:46:35+00:00

It could mean a variety of things, but ultimately these are reflections of compatibility and of the things you desire in a partner, and could be signs of things that he does not consider as important in a partnership or in a partnership with you.

If this is something that is important to you, be law school degree clear of what you want and if he doesn't alter and show effort then you may want to find another.

Ok_Obligation_6110 · 2023-01-28T02:34:12+00:00

I think we as women often place more importance on things that we perceive that WE would never forget and fail to realize that men and women are inherently different. If he’s not remembering he’s not ‘the bad guy’ despite what modern discourse would have us believe. We often hear from other women ‘well if he TRULY LOVED YOU he’d put in an effort to remember or do x y z’. This is really taking something benign to an extreme. My husband may not remember things I’ve mentioned before but that doesn’t imply malicious intent, he’s just forgetful or I said something to him when his mind was preoccupied with something else (we forget that men aren’t multitaskers like women are). Give him some grace and maybe offer to share a Google calendar or something with him. This is what my husband and I do, we’re so busy now that we have a baby that it’s the easiest way to stay on top of important dates. It requires less mental labor for both of us and prevents either of us from feeling resentful over something that’s likely just a result of forgetfulness.

lklklkljnxnxnsn · 2023-02-02T18:14:51+00:00

I have noticed that men are often really bad at seeing and remembering small details. This has actually been scientifically proven. This is why women tend to be a lot more 'fussy' about their environment and more clean than men and more sensual.

Think of the example of how single men and single women live. A woman will have multiple soft blankets, cushions, decorations. A man will just have the rudimentary stuff and his surroundings might seem cold and empty to a woman.

I think its just one of those differences between men and women. I find that reminding a man again and again when you want him to do a task without sounding frustrated tends to help them. I think this is a point of frustration for women but the key is empathy and understanding, he's not doing it to spite you and he just needs your help. Maybe try to empathize with him and think about what is harder for you that is good at and how he is helpful to you. My husband recently fixed the oven. Does he get frustrated at me because i can't fix an oven? No, he helps me by fixing the oven and I thank him.

Title	What does it mean when he doesn’t remember things about you?
Author	may9961
Upvotes	12
Comments	42
Date	January 25, 2023 11:11 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/10lcr9t/what_does_it_mean_when_he_doesnt_remember_things/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-does-it-mean-when-he-doesnt-remember-things.1150219 https://theredarchive.com/post/1150219

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