When to know to stop trying.

insickness · 2014-02-18T19:34:13+00:00

This is an important question because knowing the answer will keep you from turning into an orbiter.

To preface my answer, let me explain what a 'ping' is in case you don't know. I generally don't ask a girl to hang out out of the blue. When I first contact her, I send a ping, a text testing the waters. It could be anything from telling her I saw something that reminded me of her to a bit of banter, etc. After she responds to the ping, then I ask her to hang out with me.

So here are my cut offs:

If she doesn't respond to a ping, I next her. If she can't even respect me enough to acknowledge my existence, she gets nexted.
I ask her to hang out. She says she's busy but doesn't offer an alternative. This is a big sign of disinterest. Typically I next her after this. If she was very receptive over text, I may try to ping her again in a few weeks because it's possible she's seeing someone and her situation has changed. But if this happens twice, I definitely next her. If she says she's busy I might say, "Well say hi when you're not so busy."
If she won't allow me to kiss her by the second time we hang out, I next her.
If she lets me kiss her but won't let me go any further than kissing on the 2nd date, or she won't come over my place on the 2nd date, I insist on starting the next date at my place. I'll tell her we're watching a movie at my place. If she won't come over my place, I next her or at least refuse to meet her out in public.

TL;DR:You should have certain expectations for her in place for meeting up with you and hooking up with you. If she doesn't meet those expectations, she gets nexted.

DayCount · 2014-02-18T18:47:58+00:00

Talking as in texting?

In this case, less is more. Maintain radio silence.

FortunateBum · 2014-02-18T23:11:11+00:00

I would say the second you sense something negative, move on. That could be after two sentences.

I say this because it saves time.

Also, something I just wrote for another post:

My primary advice when it comes to women: You're either fucking or you're not.

If you're not fucking, then you're not fucking.

The only question becomes, how long should I wait to fuck?

My answer is, and I know you guys probably aren't going to like this, the same day you meet. If you didn't fuck the night you met consider her a "friend", an acquaintance, whatever. It's possible you might fuck someday in the future, but this whole dating nonsense is complete bullshit.

So how many dates should you go on before you next her? I'd say one. Seems harsh, but truth be told, I have never had sex with a woman who I went out with more than once. Ever. And I'm almost 40. Usually I'm fucking her before any date. Maybe she was an acquaintance and we got to talking at a party or bar or whatever.

Dating just doesn't work. By taking her on a "date", you're already putting yourself into a horrible (beta) position which you will probably never be able to get out of.

Also, think about it. If she spends an entire night with you and you didn't fuck, how much do you think she wants to fuck you? She probably doesn't.

allex8800 · 2014-02-18T19:00:16+00:00

Truthfully I never know the right answer for this myself. Sometimes radio silence works, sometimes having a lot of convo works. But more than anything, always make sure you're leading up to a hangout. If a girl wants to talk but doesn't want to hang then she's absolutely just using you for validation.

TP_2 · 2014-02-19T00:30:40+00:00

When to know to stop trying.

When you push her over the edge and she says no and means it.

In my opinion it's almost always best to escalate fast, ignore shit tests, and push things towards sex or her walking out the door. Either way you win. If she walks out the door, you save yourself several hours of time dealing with a chick that would likely amount to nothing.

Most guys like to play it safe when it comes to sex / dating, but risk taking is where it's at.

Preferably you should push her to this point during your first private 1 on 1 interaction, and if you never had a 1 on 1 interaction, then there is nothing to "give up" because you never had a chance to begin with, as she is not interested.

trplurker · 2014-02-19T07:59:43+00:00

I have a three date rule, if I'm not fucking them by the third date then I cease pursuing them.

That being said, most of my lays are going to be on the first date, I only allow for two others due to logistics sometimes not working out. The third date is always going to be dinner + movie at my apartment, this removes all logistic barriers. 90% of the time I know how it's gonna go down before I make the invite but I've had a couple of duds.

Don't over pursue, don't constantly reply to texts and don't be over anxious to get her commitment to a date. It's important to have a ton of girls your talking with and making dates with. I'm talking shit like dating three to four different girls during the week and one on the weekend that's guaranteed to get you sex. If you don't have the numbers then go out and get them, lots of them. It creates the situation where your seeing so many girls that you can start being picky and always have backup plans, women pickup on that subconsciously and start to invest more time in you. Don't talk to them unless it's with the purpose of meeting them, they aren't your friends for idle chitchat.

to Girl A "hey I'm having dinner / event / blah at this place, meet me around this time". If she doesn't answer back within a reasonable amount of time (30m to 60m) then ask Girl B.

Start to plan your dates a week or two in advance, get enough numbers are you will need to do this anyway. Use weekday dates for "new" girls that your trying to fuck and if one's too slow / looks like she's gonna flake invite one of the ones you've already fucked. Keep cycling them that way and you'll be drowning in pussy within a few months, takes a bit of time to setup as you'll need to constantly be going out and getting lots of numbers in shotgun style approaches, but once it's running you can start to be extremely selective as you'll have a bunch of ass on speed dial.

lord_of_vader · 2014-02-18T18:53:41+00:00

I always try to maintain some sort of contact. The key is to not depend on one or two at a time and always be seeking. There are women all over the place. Out with the old, in with the new if you're having doubts.

There may be a case where a girl is very busy, on vacation, on business, etc. and genuinely cannot talk to you. In that case let them do what they want, but keep spinning until they text you back.

robesta · 2014-02-18T23:57:27+00:00

Your misdiagnosing your biggest weakness. You're outcome dependent. Aka you give a fuck. You shouldn't care if you're more interested. Their loss. Your feelings should be most important to you than some chick's. If you feel like they don't want in, fuck it and move on. You're a man and shouldn't need female validation.

Title	When to know to stop trying.
Author	gt35r
Upvotes	26
Comments	23
Date	February 18, 2014 6:46 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1y9ht6/when_to_know_to_stop_trying/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/when-to-know-to-stop-trying.11522 https://theredarchive.com/post/11522

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