Came back from a lost custody battle yesterday feeling like shit and it occurred to me, I will never feel like I can grow my wealth and start to improve my position financially.

My daughter's mother doesn't work, open admitted in court that she has never had a drivers license, and hasn't worked since 2009, and that she survives off money given to her by her mother and her current boyfriend who she has been living with for all 10 months despite having a 6-7 month child. And they haven't been together 'years', do not get that impression. Meanwhile I work, have a girlfriend who doesn't sleep over when my daughter is there, own my own home, am a veteran, and the judge STILL feels that having my daughters grandmother be the one to pick her up and drop her off at the mothers school district is somehow more acceptable then giving me custody during the week and having her go to my perfectly reasonable, and much closer school. And I don't have a record, or anything of that nature. The Guardian sat there and recommended I have primary physical custody and she get 3 weekends a month and the judge COMPLETELY ignored that.

I lost, I get that, whatever I have to wait until her mother doesn't get her to school on time and challenge again, I will happily wait for her to fuck up because I am confident she will. But it occurred to me, that even though I didn't have to pay child support (because I presently pay for ALL of extra-curricula's, every single one, myself-not that she has her do anything when she has her anyway because she can't even drive) that one day I'm going to have the ability to grow my wealth, but do I even want too? When it would sign me up to lose upwards of 5k a year, and more specifically give someone like her 5k a year and I know the money won't be going towards my daughters best interests? Because there is a disparagement of income between us solely because she chooses not to work, as if that's somehow acceptable?

And for what it's worth, I am comfortable where I am, I wish I made more sure everyone does, but not if it's going to cost me having to pay for her to do nothing. I'm also worried because I plan on paying off the mortgage early hopefully in another 7 years or so, and that would only serve to give her more grounds.

'It's not about the money, it's about sending a message...'