Why The Term “Toxic Masculinity” Should Be Retired

McFeely_Smackup · 2018-01-04T19:29:53+00:00

How about because it's sexist and deliberately insulting and demeaning to half of the population? Is that not a good enough reason?

Turbosky · 2018-01-04T14:36:49+00:00

Or start up the term "Toxic Femininity" to counter it.

rocelot7 · 2018-01-04T23:42:33+00:00

To rephrase one Miss Straughan; we can't call them firemen, they're firefighters. We can't call them policemen, they're police officers. Not chairmen, chairperson. But toxic masculinity? That's fine, that's okay.

LedZeppelin1602 · 2018-01-04T13:45:33+00:00

My problem with the term is that there's never ever any contrasting talk of positive masculinity. So the only talk of masculinity is in a negative context.

NibblyPig · 2018-01-04T15:41:24+00:00

No such thing as toxic masculinity, it's just masculinity. If you don't like a particular aspect of it, that's on you. One person might find men's dominance, confidence and overbearing nature unpleasant, yet when the village is attacked and they need a leader they'll find it the opposite. Therefore it cannot be a toxic trait, only a person's opinion of it can be positive or negative, but the trait has no inherently good or bad properties.

In addition, the baseline of society, the status quo, is being altered by feminists. They make it so an unattractive guy saying hello is creepy and unacceptable, whereas 100 years ago it might have been unwanted but it wouldn't have been considered unacceptable, it's just part of life. More so if you dress up sexy and go out because you want attention, you'll get both wanted and unwanted attention, so you need to just filter it out the unwanted get on with your day.

That should be the baseline, but instead the status quo is now, do not make eye contact with women, do not talk to women, do not gesture, stand aside for them, etc. and then the traits of men are held to this fictional standard that has come out of feminism, and now the trait of being male is branded as toxic because they compare it to this.

It's like saying you're toxic because I just wrote some rules I want you to follow on a piece of paper and you're breaking them.

elebrin · 2018-01-05T01:07:56+00:00

Such “toxic” masculine norms include dominance, devaluation of women, extreme self-reliance, and the suppression of emotions.

With the exception of the devaluation of women, I don't see any of these as negatives. Why is self-reliance frowned upon? Why is keeping control over emotional states and knowing the best and most effective times and ways to express those emotions frowned upon?

Men don't burst out in joyful giggles or lay down crying - we take a few minutes to make a joke with some friends and toot our own horns and we build monuments to alleviate our sadness, so that the world never forgets from our demonstration of pain.

We take pride in learning and doing for ourselves. I don't want someone else wiping my nose for me every step of the way, that shit doesn't help and is plain condescending. When people help where it isn't requested they are ruining learning opportunities.

I'd even argue that devaluation of anyone is anti-masculine. The most stereotypically masculine men I see and know are focused on building up the people around them, not tearing them down. We mentor, teach, coach, build tools, and give recognition where it is due.

GreatBayTemple · 2018-01-05T03:12:15+00:00

TLDR

Title	Why The Term “Toxic Masculinity” Should Be Retired
Author	JackFisherBooks
Upvotes	81
Comments	63
Date	January 4, 2018 10:51 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/7o28ib/why_the_term_toxic_masculinity_should_be_retired/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-the-term-toxic-masculinity-should-be-retired.1180284 https://theredarchive.com/post/1180284

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