This sub is conflicting me

DavidByron2 · 2018-12-14T18:52:21+00:00

occasionally hateful people trickle into the Men’s Rights Movement

yeah we even let feminists post here.

red_philosopher · 2018-12-14T19:03:15+00:00

I’ve always been an egalitarian and for equality, so I used to identify myself as a feminist because of the whole misconception about only feminists being for equal rights.

Welcome to the world of the real.

I then watched the Red Pill and did a lot of research and found about the inequalities for men, custody battle stuff, jail sentences, false rape accusations etc. and started calling myself a MRA, seeing the movement as a small and righteous cause that is often ignored, as opposed to the right wing and incel filled view other people have of it. I grew up in a liberal family and my mom ended up with 100% custody and I don’t get to see my dad often, who is a great person.

Like many men, so many boys have not had fathers to help them realize their potential, and have been brought up by women, who have no idea what it is like to be a man. Just as men have no idea what it is like to be a woman.

It’s been my understanding that occasionally hateful people trickle into the Men’s Rights Movement (did something with that happen to r/TheRedPill? Idk)

As a relatively active participant in the /r/theredpill subreddit, it was quarantined because the subreddit supports views that aren't exactly in-line with the current cultural narrative (women amazing, men suck). I recommend people of the MRM take a look at the redpill subreddit, and ignore the PUA components, as the theoretical underpinnings of evolutionary psychology quite accurately predict female and male behaviors. The feminist narrative, the antimasculine sentiment held by society, the lack of a cohesive male identity (aside from masculinism, which has been vilified for decades, so is effectively unusable), bias in courts, bias in education, lack of reproductive rights, no-fault divorce, marriage, and more are all explained well by the red pill's psychological underpinnings.

Furthermore, it has an active and supportive community, and promotes the well-being of men through the development of self-actualization. Yes, there are some women-haters in that community. The vast majority of /r/theredpill readers and contributors, though, like you and I and 99% of men, love women so much, that they are just looking for answers so they can have successful, less-risky relationships with women.

The information isn't pretty. People who have been abused by women or the system, or had their generosity taken advantage of, or have been cheated on again and again and again and don't know where they went wrong, read it and get angry. I know I did. It was like my whole life was a lie, and it's easy to displace that anger towards women and society, when the real fault lies with oneself. Nobody wants to admit that they fucked up their entire lives up until that point. But eventually you have to come to terms with it, and that's how it is.

When /r/theredpill was quarantined, they directly linked to: https://www.stonybrook.edu/commcms/csmm/

This site is supported by Michael Kimmel, a supposed egalitarian who is a male-abuse denier:

https://vawnet.org/sites/default/files/assets/files/2016-10/GenderSymmetry.pdf

https://youtu.be/63I4d7y3Hn4?t=11m43s

Shortly afterwards, the tacit endorsement was removed, but the act betrays the values of society and media- that men are disposable and not needed.

ADLeezard · 2018-12-14T18:31:46+00:00

You gotta remember. 80 percent of the population is fucking retarded. So any time any social movement gains traction and popularity, it’s gonna get over run with some idiots...it’s just mathematics.

But don’t let the idiots detract you from what the smart people are saying though! Just ignore the stupid comments and read the articles.

GingerRazz · 2018-12-14T19:38:22+00:00

This sub has content people dislike because it's not aggressively moderated. Pay attention to the vote count and you will see the opinions that are most detestable have a low or negative vote count. The posts that are focused on real men's issues get the high score.

Hadashi_blacksky · 2018-12-14T19:37:14+00:00

I think what's happening here is you have a lot of baggage left over from feminism that is maybe making things harder for you than they should be. We are mostly egalitarians who focus on men's issues. We fully support equal rights for all, equal responsibilities, and equal opportunities. You may also be noticing more and more that feminism is not actually about equal rights, even though it sells itself that way.

Honestly, if you feel confused maybe you should call yourself an egalitarian for now? I went through a similar thing myself where I wondered which box I should go in, before realizing that boxes don't matter that much. It's really up to you if you'd like to hang out here, and hanging out round us won't automatically plaster you with the dreaded 'MRA' tag. Though, as we've recently heard, the MHRM is really breaking into the mainstream now.

If you'd like to talk more, we also have a Discord server where we all hang out. There are also several female MRAs about, if you'd prefer to hear their side of it.

Razorbladekandyfan · 2018-12-14T23:08:49+00:00

You are gynocentric.

SmartAdhesiveness · 2018-12-14T18:48:11+00:00

You say that you don’t get to see your dad often, though he is a great person. As a new father, this makes me profoundly sad to hear.

By your writing, you seem very mature — certainly mature enough to communicate with, and even choose to see, your father.

I hope you do find a way to deepen your relationship with your father. Nothing can replace that bond, for father or for son.

Good luck.

Metraxis · 2018-12-14T19:32:09+00:00

Your confusion comes from an unfortunate naming choice. There are several distinct flavors of men's advocate out there, but generally speaking, there are Pick Up Artists (play the game to win) who generally land in the actual theredpill subreddit, M(H)RAs (the game is unfair, change the rules) that can be primarily found in this subreddit, and Men Going Their Own Way (the game is rigged, don't play), who can unsurprisingly be found in the MGTOW subreddit. Cassie Jaye's choice to call her documentary about M(H)RAs The Red Pill can get people headed in the wrong direction pretty easily.

Lethn · 2018-12-14T20:57:52+00:00

I'd like to see your links first before I even comment on what you find 'hateful' but at least you've said you'll post them so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and wait.

The problem is, I've noticed this trend, feminists especially define things as 'hateful' that simply makes them uncomfortable, they do not like it when their ideology is so openly questioned and bluntly criticised, they especially hate it when this sub holds individual women to account for their actions for example when they're criminals and abusers and then act like that's being anti-women.

Now are their traditionalists, red pillers and genuine misogynists that like to brigade the sub and post stupid shit about women up? Sure, this is the price though you pay for freedom of speech which we have here, people will say things you don't like and you might even find it offensive.

That doesn't mean for one second that any of us support it which is something that has always pissed me off about feminism and collectivist ideologies like theirs in general. They always hold the group accountable for the actions of the individual.

Of course, they're hypocrites, because do they do the same for any of their groups? No, the women's march group has had a serious problem with real anti-semitism going on amongst their ranks, are they doing anything about it? Of course not.

It's completely dumb to attack people over the actions of a few individuals especially when it's a sub as loosely moderated as this one. Now if there was a genuine widespread problem then I'd be happy to talk about it but that's why you need to provide actual proof.

What I will say though is, criticising women for their behaviour is not 'hate' and I'll call you out if you provide links and then that's all it is.

perplexedm · 2018-12-14T21:43:12+00:00

I grew up in a liberal family and my mom ended up with 100% custody and I don’t get to see my dad often, who is a great person.

Your world view naturally may have blind spots.

But honestly this sub seems a bit quirky to me. It’s been my understanding that occasionally hateful people trickle into the Men’s Rights Movement (did something with that happen to r/TheRedPill? Idk) but honestly I’ve been seeing a lot of silly posts and really petty complaints about society

Normal people will just ignore useless posts than getting pend up over those, or down vote and move on to real issues.

Feminists and lot of concern trolls are posting here, unlike earlier these days some posts gets traction and highly up voted. This attracts all kind of people including random trolls.

Tedesche · 2018-12-14T22:47:06+00:00

I hear ya, but maybe I have a higher tolerance for this sort of thing than you?

There are a lot of people here who are pissed off, and they sometimes post relatively trivial things that are nonetheless symptomatic of larger trends. I would encourage you to consider that when you see a post you think is “petty.”

I guess it probably would help if you could cite some examples. I wouldn’t mind commenting on them, which might give you a sense o solidarity if I agree with you or help you see it another way if I don’t.

xNOM · 2018-12-15T01:11:10+00:00

You sound like my cousin when she told me she was shopping around for a church. Here's a thought: stop obsessing over labels and what other people think about you. There is a real physical world which does not care about you. Try to learn about it. Reality is extremely complex. Confusion is normal.

Ted8367 · 2018-12-14T19:04:05+00:00

Concern...

K-Dave · 2018-12-15T08:24:59+00:00

You don't need to be on someones side! Fuck filterbubbles, be your own person and stand up for it. There's no preset mindset that fits for everyone... we're not the borg, we're human.

6footgeeks · 2018-12-15T09:42:58+00:00

Hateful people post in every sub. Just that we call them out more often and lay out their bigotry for all to see, other subs either just ban them or are run by them.

Title	This sub is conflicting me
Author	rcoan02
Upvotes	10
Comments	32
Date	December 14, 2018 6:16 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/a67buq/this_sub_is_conflicting_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/this-sub-is-conflicting-me.1183266 https://theredarchive.com/post/1183266

Comments