This is purely anecdotal and I am being conscientious about sticking to my feelings and opinions on my own observations.

This is not meant to be an NLOG post.

For context, I’m a 35yo child-free woman working in software engineering. I started working in IT before I graduated high school.

I have worked with predominantly men for my entire career. I knew in middle school that I wanted to work in tech and I learned soon after that it was a male-dominant field. I also learned about the women in STEM agenda. I live around Seattle, so this comes up often.

Personally, and maybe this is a privilege, I’ve only ever encountered sexism directed towards myself once or twice. The first encounter I have doubts about.

ETA: I have never personally experienced sexual harassment in the workplace. Boys’ locker room talk, to me, isn’t the same thing as sexual harassment.

I’ve gained 95% of my IT experience (network engineering and programming) by working with and learning from men.

I find it easier to stay focused on tasks while working on a male-dominated team.

I’m one person, but I need to validate the men who work in this field.

  • you’re not creepy or weird
  • you’re not “mansplaining”
  • your passions and hobbies are interesting
  • it’s okay to be introverted
  • you should be proud of yourself

I don’t care if this makes me a “pick me” girl. I want Men in Tech to know that you are valid and deserving of appreciation and respect.

ETA some catharsis, fix typos

(L)

TLDR: you do you, boo; leave me be. I work with some wonderful people who are all men.

I feel the same way; I don’t care what your gender, race, religion etc. can you do your job and work well with me? Fuck yeah!

It’s kind of hard to identify as an MRA for me working in this field. I’ve been invited to speak at seminars and events about how I’m “helping to promote bridging the gender gap.” I hate public speaking. I’m not doing it for that reason alone.

This is going to sound callous, but I seriously don’t give a damn about what other people do for a living. Not my life, not my business. I’m very self-involved and I like it that way. I’m employed, fat, and happy.

I can’t say that though. And I’m not great at lying. I avoid being the poster child for a cause that I don’t care about or believe in.

Thankfully I have an employer who is very chill about it. He’s forwarded emails to me about WiT events and I never responded to them. I felt bad for ignoring him when he was making the effort to do the politically correct thing. I worried about the possibility of us as a vendor losing prospects. I was having trouble with the idea of hurting the company. We’re a small shop.

I brought it up to my boss after working for him for about four years, in 2020 if I recall. I told him I didn’t believe in the agenda and didn’t want to participate in it. That I appreciated his thoughtfulness. He was totally cool about it. Never sent another email.

It took a long time to prove to him that I was not a liability to him or his business. I can imagine why.

I asked him if he hired me for the boxes I checked or because of my merit. He doesn’t lie. Ever. I’m a woman, a minority, and have a minor disability.

I hope I’ve convinced him that I’m not going to sue him or anything. He seems more relaxed when he talks to me.

I’m very fortunate to be where I am. We accomplish a lot for our size and have national customers. It’s a healthy work-life balance and we are treated well. We are fully remote. I feel valued and relaxed with my coworkers. It’s sadly uncommon to feel happiness the way I do about my job.

Apologies for the length. This was very cathartic.