Seperated for 5 months now and was brief talk of rekindling. Long story short i initated seperation after numerous unresolved problems. One of the issues we had was my wife kept my family at arms length. Not calling round to inlaws for dinner, 'negotiating' how long we stay for a cup of tea etc, arguing about going to family gatherings, engagement parties etc and everything was a really big struggle for me and despite asking for change it never happened.

Naturally when it came to her family I stayed over at her parents, cooked the family bbqs everytime, had siblings calling in etc with no problem so it really was one rule for one side.

Once I told my siblings how things had deteriorated, some of the ways I'd been treated after I left they weren't happy at all. They seen some of the behaviour but said they didn't want to say anything as they thought I was happy. Anyway they were happy I had left as they were worried about my mental health and altho they reached out to my wife initially that was it. My mother didn't reach out at all as she felt my wife had treated me poorly for years and I was better off out.

With talk of rekindling due to our son my wife pretty much said after my family didn't reach out much post seperation she felt her ill feeling towards them during our relationship was justified so she would only go back if she we lived in her home town, she had little to no interaction with my family (I could still take our son to them) and I was ok with that.

I feel I initated seperation due to way she treated me but now I have to go back on her terms and back to a way of life (family at arms length) that frustrated me before and things will end up same way as im making the compromises. Only really entertaining this as our son is 2 and I dont want to miss out on him but wife has been really good with access since we seperated and has been good to me that way.

Is this a messy reddit story or can someone give me some perspective?