When my drama teacher opened up about the son of his close friend committing suicide, my classmate immediately blamed it on "toxic masculinity" to the support of all the girls in the class. I spoke up and said it was insensitive. This was our conversation that afternoon.

AEHIILRS · 2019-08-19T07:32:41+00:00

Toxic masculinity is:

Heroic self-sacrifice

Their conversation always seems to leave out the "toxic masculinity" that benefits others at the expense of men.

dontpet · 2019-08-19T09:13:39+00:00

That condescending ending left me feeling dirty.

x6x6x61982 · 2019-08-19T11:45:02+00:00

toxic masculinity is "lad culture" and "locker room talks"

How about you piss the fuck off, me and my lads will talk behind the closed locker room doors whatever the fuck we want. What we talk in private is none of your damn business smfh.

iainmf · 2019-08-19T11:33:43+00:00

Well, you tried to talk about your feelings but you got shut down.

Better not talk about your feelings next time.

--

But seriously, one thing you can do when talking about toxic masculinity is talk about your feelings on the matter, not what you think. When I have talked about how I find the term toxic masculinity hurtful and asked people not to use it, a few times the people complaining about the problem of toxic masculinity have essentially told me to 'man up and stop being a pussy', but not in those words. If they do that it pretty clear that they aren't interested in getting men to express themselves more.

v573v · 2019-08-19T13:24:36+00:00

And yet every heterosexual girl in that class has often fantasized about:

Being perceived as sexy by men.
A man’s ability to use violence in her defence.
Bad boys
Stoicism
Non-effeminate men.

ExxiIon · 2019-08-19T12:43:23+00:00

Why are you even texting this person? You're putting yourself at unnecessary risk, repeatedly.

Sasha_ · 2019-08-19T09:44:42+00:00

Has anyone else noticed that 'toxic masculunity" became a belief for the left just when their eugenuics and Jewish blood libel became unacceptable?

Lion_amongst_gods · 2019-08-19T16:50:23+00:00

If no uterus, no opinion... Why do women get to define "toxic masculinity"?

SirYouAreIncorrect · 2019-08-20T00:46:20+00:00

Why did you claim that most Domestic Violence is against women, this is 100% false

DougDante · 2019-08-20T01:43:17+00:00

Try not to engage with this person. They do not display compassion towards you, only malice.

RoryTate · 2019-08-19T18:43:58+00:00

Good job in standing up for yourself in class, and later on in the private conversation. Also, excellent recognition of the fruitlessness and danger of that disagreement. That was a very mature reaction. She was not going to be convinced otherwise (you can't logically argue a person out of a position they didn't rationally argue themselves into in the first place), and there was no one else present to be swayed by your stronger and more reasonable statements.

Ideologues like her may appear to have support, but you should know it's likely that many of the people nodding along are only doing so out of fear and peer pressure. They don't truly believe the nonsense that she spouts. So don't get too frustrated by the seeming resistance to the truth. They have no idea what being a man is about, yet they are so ignorant that they think they know better than you what it's like. The condescending attitude of "You don't understand gender studies" is predictable and truly demonstrates their insensitivity and ignorance. Don't be easily swayed by the argument from authority fallacy, and just judge it with your own eyes and ears. If you do you might come to the same conclusion as many rational people when it comes to the subject of gender studies: it's "women only" studies in practice (its original name was laughingly "women's studies" after all), it sees anything male as negative (smash the patriarchy) or at best neutral and never positive, and it is entirely an academic sham and worthless as a field of study.

You will always know better than women what it means to be a man.

mherm79 · 2019-08-19T20:51:44+00:00

I’ve had male college’s and family friends commit suicide and I would describe them as gentlemen and could not associate any of the topic ‘is’ list with them.

Good on you for standing up - we need voices like you to speak up and call out bad behaviour. The causes behind male suicide needs much more attention as it’s truly alarming that us men are most at threat from ourselves.

Toxic masculinity is: - telling boys that are crying to ‘stop being a girl’ - telling a bloke who is sad/ depressed to ‘man up’ - laughing at ‘dad bodes’ - assuming all dads are incompetent careers - which leads to lower rates of fathers winning custody over mothers - assuming all men are violent / aggressors and all women are innocent victims

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