I’ve been with my wife ~8 years and we’ve done counseling. I don’t think she’ll ever change her controlling/jealousy or needy behavior.

With a newborn (6 month) she’s only gotten worse:

  • Antagonistic and fights me daily
  • Doesn’t let my family see the baby
  • Jealous and hates my mom now who’s only watched and helped the baby

List goes on. Basically I haven’t wanted to touch her in a year as a result of being nagged and pummeled verbally for just living.

The past three months I’ve lost sleep and gone into a depression thinking I may lose time with my son. Also the guilt of breaking up our family (my folks are married so I have guilt my childhood would be different). But I feel a loss of love and miserable each day towards my wife. We argue when I’m not zoning out and forget she’s triggering me.

Also I’m self employed and on her benefits. 20-21 were fantastic years but this year is sooo slow I’m at about $40k. Slowest year since 2014.

I’m worried I’m going to get financially ruined AND lose my son. I just don’t know how to stay so unhappy each day.

She’s started telling everyone how unaffectionate I am and her therapist tells her I’m gaslighting her or something when I literally do everything for the baby and just try to keep the peace.

One therapist said it was postpartum so I was just holding out hoping it would pass but then a day later changed her tune and blamed me. Like I said the issues of controlling and jealousy were always here, she’s the type to tell me I can’t do something I truly want if she’s insecure about it, but now with the baby she’s gone too far.

Open to thoughts. I’m confused, depressed, guilty feeling and cannot seem to make a decision as I am fearful of consequences.

Note: I was trying to wait to make a decision before my finances pick up because I’m so down I know another life change would not be good…but she’s on me every day, almost pushing me to make a move.