My boyfriend of six years was talking to another girl for past five months.

breemakin · 2022-09-23T05:05:13+00:00

He doesn’t love you.

You sound young so you’ve got plenty of time to find a faithful partner. At your age, it’s not worth the struggle to stay with a weak minded and unfaithful man.

I’d say if you checked his phone he hasn’t stopped talking to that girl at all.

sunglasses90 · 2022-09-23T03:00:20+00:00

Do you want to deal with the heartbreak now while you’re young and have tons of opportunity to find the guy who won’t do this, or wait until you’re potentially married, 30, and have his kid and he’s stepping out on you? If he did it once he will do it again. Maybe he could hide it better next time. But you’ll never trust him ever again and you probably shouldn’t.

PappaGamer · 2022-09-24T13:58:39+00:00

As hard as it is to end things now, it’s probably best for you in the long term. He didn’t just cheat once, he cheated every time he went out, deleted a text, or stayed up late on the phone. Then he was able to lie to you about it for months.

No matter how stressful you feel life is now it doesn’t get easier once you have jobs and kids. It gets more stressful and scattered. If this happened now it will probably happen again. You will just have more to lose when it does.

Find someone who values you more. You’re worth it. And always remember that YOU are not to blame for a cheaters actions. YOU didn’t do this and you didn’t deserve this.

stripe_throwaway · 2022-09-22T21:23:33+00:00

When is the earliest you won't have to be long distance anymore?

KombuchaEnema · 2022-09-23T00:00:23+00:00

In order to reconcile after infidelity, you (the betrayed partner) will have to put your foot down and become very assertive. This means demanding honesty and respect. It means demanding transparency. Sometimes it means being cold or distant when you know your wayward (i.e., cheating) partner is being dishonest.

It will be incredibly hard to maintain a submissive, feminine role in the relationship while also defending yourself from his actions.

I’m not saying you should break up. But if you do want to move forward with him while also demanding fidelity from him, this will require you to be harshly assertive. Because if he’s been unfaithful once, he is likely to do it again.

You’ll have to demand counseling, demand that he give you access to his phone/social media, demand that he communicate, demand that he answer your questions…all of these things are necessary for reconciliation.

Some people choose to take on that responsibility. The question is whether or not it’s something you’re prepared to do.

2022-09-27T16:42:01+00:00

Cheating isn't just about having sex with another person. It means their mind doesn't comprehend how to deal with tough situations. It means they aren't trustworthy. It means they don't respect you, themselves, or the relationship. It means they have terrible impulse control. It means they use people as sex objects. It means he wanted to start a life with someone else.

There is no pity for him. I promise you. Trying to have empathy here is realizing that he has a major character flaw. If he doesn't have the ability to stick to the commitment of a relationship, anything serious is out of the window, I can't emphasize this enough. He's not ready for a relationship no matter what he may say.

He was trying to see if he could move on from you while still being with you and it didn't work with the girl so you're the backup option. Think about it like that, because it's exactly like that.

Someone who wants to be with you and sees you as a priority isn't going to do this to you. They aren't going to just casually talk to someone for 5 months. Are you kidding me? That's a long time. Please come back to reality this isn't worth it at all. Being alone and working on yourself is worth it. Figuring out what you want from this life is worth it. You are his backup choice. You are his backup choice.

Six years isn't anything. It's something, but it isn't anything. I was with someone I didn't care about for 4 years. It means nothing. Don't even consider it when you calculate all of this.

betalady76 · 2022-09-23T02:58:07+00:00

Let him have his thing, he’s going to come home to you.

AutoModerator · 2022-09-22T21:16:22+00:00

Title: My boyfriend of six years was talking to another girl for past five months.

Full text: My boyfriend of six years was talking to another girl for past five months.

Background on us: We both study in highly stressful field and had to be fully dependent on our families financially. Last year my boyfriend did not pass a highly competitive exams and we were long distance at that time. The fact that my family was always non supportive of our relationship was there.

He was talking less with me for past few months and I knew something was off but I never thought he could be with someone else. I found out. They were talking and went out a couple of times. Now he tells me he is sorry and stopped talking to that girl. But I cant move past what he did, he thought of having a future with this girl. He says at that point he wanted an easy way of life and it was this girl.

I have no idea what to do. To adjust with the fact that he does not love me haunts me. He says his sorry and is asking for another chance. I am so hurt and weak and don't know what to do.

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I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2022-09-27T16:38:13+00:00

YOU didn’t do this and you didn’t deserve this.

This is a really important point and I think one that people who survive infidelity maybe miss. I blamed myself for months and months for my boyfriend cheating on me at the time. I thought "I should have spoken differently this way" or "I shouldn't have done this that way" and while that may be true, he chose to cheat. He chose to start another relationship behind my back and then lie to my face about it for weeks, and then leave me to marry that woman after only knowing her for 10 days (spoiler: she dumped him 5 months later, and then came back to me to apologize). I blamed myself for so long and said how good of a partner he was, how much more beautiful she was and I even now have recurring nightmares of being cheated on and am now realizing I even need to go to therapy from the trauma.

But it's not on you. People make choices. No matter how poorly I may have behaved at the time, he decided a relationship with me wasn't worth working out or fixing, talking through it wasn't worth it, and he definitely didn't see me as a future wife or mother of his children, because no one would do that to someone they want to spend their life with, they work on it.

Cheating is such a low thing to do. It doesn't matter the person's reasons. If they cheated on you once, they have said that they don't want to be with you. That's it.

You didn't deserve it. Don't beat yourself up over it. Don't tell yourself that you're ugly or that you weren't enough. You were enough. He just didn't have what it takes to be a long-term partner, and he sorted himself out with that behavior. Take the action for what it is, and end the relationship for good.

Title	My boyfriend of six years was talking to another girl for past five months.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	12
Comments	16
Date	September 22, 2022 9:16 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/xldm4d/my_boyfriend_of_six_years_was_talking_to_another/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/my-boyfriend-of-six-years-was-talking-to-another.1208709 https://theredarchive.com/post/1208709

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